The door to their left opened suddenly, startling Julia from her pensive thoughts. She immediately rose, expecting it to be her and Brina’s time to go inside, but three sisters walked out and politely closed the door behind them. They all smiled at Brina and Julia as they passed, but hurried on without speaking.
“I hope they were in the meeting with Sister Francine and she will now be free to see us,” Julia said as the sisters disappeared around a corner. “We don’t want to be so late returning that your driver becomes concerned about us.”
Brina looked up at her and smiled. “My driver will not worry about us, but I’m concerned about you. Why are you acting like you have ants crawling under your skirts? It’s so unlike you.”
“I know. I can only explain it by saying I’m quite anxious about this for you. It’s difficult to remain objective in this journey you’re on because of my misgivings about it.”
“Don’t be anxious about this. I’m not. I’m quite calm about it. I know I’ll make the right decision.”
That’s what bothered Julia. Trying to decide if you wanted to join an order should make you restless. Brina was too peaceful. However, Julia returned to her seat and had hardly crossed her ankles when the door opened again and another nun walked out and smiled at them.
“Sister Francine will see you now,” she said.
Julia and Brina followed her past one office and into an inner room where a tall, robust woman rose from the chair at her desk and laced her fingers and hands together just above her waist. She gave them a generous, friendly smile. Julia liked her immediately. The nun’s light green eyes were small but bright, with a contentment so many of the people Julia knew didn’t have, including herself. A few softened wrinkles lined her forehead and around her mouth. The fabric of her black tunic was faded and her headdress was no longer a pristine white but both were perfectly starched and pressed.
“Good afternoon, ladies,” she said. “Welcome to the Sisters of Pilwillow Crossings.”
“Thank you for agreeing to see us,” Brina said.
“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked in a jovial tone. “I’m happy you are here. As you can imagine, we don’t get many visitors here. I was delighted when Sister Helen told me someone was waiting to meet with me. Please sit down.”
They seated themselves in the two straight-backed, cushionless chairs in front of the simple desk. Brina glanced at Julia and took a deep breath before looking back to Sister Francine and saying, “I want to join the sisters here. I’m sorry, I’m a bit nervous. That is to say, I think I do. I haven’t made up my mind completely yet. There are a few hesitations I have, but I felt the only way to put them to rest and know for sure was to come and talk to you.”
The nun nodded to Julia and questioned, “Are both of you contemplating joining us?”
Julia shook her head. The way she felt when Mr. Stockton was kissing her immediately popped into her mind and she stated, “No, no, not me. I’m here only as Brina’s companion.”
“I see.” The sister’s gaze fell to Brina’s white-gloved hands lying so properly and beautifully in her lap, with the ribbons of her satin reticule wrapped perfectly around her small wrist. Her gaze then moved to her own dry, pale hands with short, work-hardened nails and deep blue veins showing beneath her aged skin. “You think you might be suited to the secluded life we live here, Mrs. Feld?”
“Yes. I believe so.”
“Would you like to tell me why?” Sister Francine asked with no condescension in her tone.
“I’ve seen what you do here. I’ve stood across the street and watched how you help people. You have good women here. Women I would be proud to join.” Brina’s chin lifted. “You are selfless in all you do and you have genuine purpose to your life. A kind and compassionate purpose. You take care of the unfortunate of our Society. You must get immense satisfaction from all you do for others.”
“We do,” she said quietly and without a hint of pride. “Everyone here does. But for you, Mrs. Feld, you would be starting from a different perspective than all the rest of us. For many reasons, coming here has made a better life for most of us.”
“That’s what I want,” Brina said anxiously, leaning forward. “A more fulfilled life. A life where I do good things for others rather than myself. I’ve watched you feed the children and elderly people who can hardly walk without aid from someone.” Brina placed her hand to her chest. “My heart aches for them and I want to help them, too.”
“We all do what we can for those in need. I’ve found that most people are good-hearted and want to help others. I’m not sure you understand exactly what a life of servitude is, Mrs. Feld. I don’t doubt in your heart you want to find peace in your life and do something rewarding for others, but I would have concerns that you can physically, mentally, and emotionally do what would be required of you to live here with us.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Brina said quickly and defensively. “I’m strong and healthy. My mind and reasoning capabilities are sound, and I understand all the consequences to myself and my family for what I’m considering.”
Sister Francine only smiled at her and then continued in her straightforward tone. “What we do is difficult, Mrs. Feld. I’m not talking only about the physical work we do. That can be learned by anyone. It’s that some women find they can’t cope with all the hardship and suffering they see others enduring. They take each person, each wound, and each sorrow as if it were their own, and when they do, the burden becomes too great to carry. That can’t be done here. You must be able to put aside all your emotions and concentrate only on the effort of what is required of you.”
“I can do that.”
“Can you?” The sister sighed. “I suggest you return home and think about the magnitude of this endeavor. You would encounter a world you know nothing about and I’m not sure you fully understand. Consider it carefully and then come back and we’ll talk again.”
Julia knew Brina hadn’t convinced the sister of anything, but Brina’s countenance hadn’t changed. Her eyes had narrowed just enough for Julia to know she wasn’t happy that Sister Francine had all but dismissed her as a weakling.
“Thank you, Sister Francine,” Julia answered, understanding exactly what the woman said, whether or not Brina did. “Mrs. Feld will continue to search her heart concerning this matter. I do believe she knows the impact this would make in her life as well as her loved ones’ lives. She will consider it more. For now, there is a different subject I’d like to discuss with you, if you have the time.”
“I’d be happy to,” Sister Francine answered, seemingly not bothered at all by how her comments affected Brina and the quiet aura that had settled over her.
“Mrs. Feld and I, along with another friend, started a benevolent school for girls where they are taught the trade of seamstresses so they can earn a wage one day—when they are older. The school was recently the beneficiary of more fabrics, threads, and such than we can use. We thought perhaps we could share some of it with you. It’s not the kind of fabrics and materials the sisters would use for themselves but we thought perhaps you might sell the items and utilize the money to then buy whatever you may need.”