But now, now I kind of regret jumping into this conversation without thinking things through. So, I’d just have to find the words to say how I feel, even if I didn’t say it the right way.
“I want to be with you too.” I take a deep breath. “But I can’t lose the guys again.”
His brows draw together. “I don’t want you to lose them either.”
“So, what do we do?”
His lips quirk into a smile. “We do what we should’ve always done. We share you. I mean, we’re already kind of doing that. No one kicked my ass when they found out I was with you, but that also didn’t stop them from pursuing you. I want you, Izzy, but I don’t want to lose them either.”
It feels like a weight has lifted from my chest. “So, you think they’ll be open to this idea too?”
“All you can do is talk to them about it.” He touches my cheek tentatively, his gaze full of affection. “Nothing to lose, right?”
My cheeks heat. Was I really going to talk to the boys I’ve loved since we were kids and selfishly claim them all as my own? The answer was simple: hell yeah. If they could accept me. But the idea of asking them when they rejected me once before sets my heart racing.
I still repeat his words. “Nothing to lose. Right.”
Reid leans in closer and brushes the lightest kiss along my lips. “Just talk to them.” His gaze lifts to above my head. “Speak of the devil.”
I whirl around and see Wilder striding toward us. If I thought Reid had gotten huge, well, Wilder had always been a massive jock. Yet, I swore, every day he got bigger now. I wonder if he’s even bigger than the god inside him, Odin.
“Hey,” Wilder greets us, and there’s a shyness to the way he says the word that makes my heart flutter.
“Hi,” I say, a little breathless.
“I saw you guys going this way, but I didn’t want to interrupt…”
Reid grins. “You know you’re never interrupting. But Izzy was just looking for you.”
Holy hell, Reid is trying to help me talk to Wilder. I don’t know whether to be grateful or not, though, because my heart is racing and my cheeks are flushed. This is moving faster than I expected.
Wilder’s hazel eyes meet mine. “Really?”
“Uh, yeah.”
He grins. “Well, I was kind of hoping to coax Reid into practicing some of our moves on the mats, but we can just go hang out, if you want.”
I plant my hands on my hips. “Hey, I could be just as good a sparring buddy as he is!”
Wilder’s brows rise. “Alright then! Let’s go.”
As I start marching toward the gym, the guys exchange a look that makes me uneasy. Did I really just agree to practice with Wilder? Damn it, what had I gotten myself into?
Halfway to the gym, a big shifter with an armful of tattoos stops in our path. “You headed to the gym, god-man?”
“You know it, alpha-dog!” Wilder exclaims.
“I just finished my session and kicked AJ’s ass! He was like, ‘Bro, how you liftin’ so much?’ And I was like, ‘God-man showed me some new moves.’”
To my surprise, they pound fists together.
The shifter grins as he steps out of our way. “As Mr. Time says, if I learn to work off that anger, I won’t go punching people at the DMV again when I get out.”
“That’s right! You got this, dog-man!”
The shifter walks away looking proud, and when Wilder looks back at me, his smile falls away. “What?”
“Nothing,” I say, but I can’t hide the surprise in my voice. “Just, when did you start making friends around here?”
He shrugs, his cheeks heating. “It’s just…a lot of the guys in the gym have never had the kind of training I had at our school. They appreciated me showing them some new ways to work out.”
“The same kinds of moves you’re going to show me?”
His cheeks heat, and he mumbles, “Hell, no.”
As we walk across campus, a nervous silence grows between us. He gives me an awkward nod when we reach the changing rooms and go our separate ways. I put on the short gym shorts and tank top, cursing myself for not having a sports bra in my locker. But then I decide to screw it and just rock my braless boobs.
When I leave the changing room, he’s waiting for me, his big body leaning against the wall. The instant he spots me, his bored expression disappears, and his gaze travels over me, lingering on my breasts.
Did I think rocking my braless boobs would be no big deal? I suddenly want to melt into the floor.
“Ready?” His voice is oddly husky.
I nod.
We leave the massive open room of the gym, and he snags a key off the wall, unlocks a door, and gestures for me to go in ahead of him. Only the emergency exit sign lights the room, a room with nothing but a mat on the floor.
To my surprise, it smells nice in here. A little musty, as if rarely used, but also clean and new. Much nicer than the giant mat in the main room of the gym we’ve been forced to use for our classes.
Wilder closes the door behind me and tosses the key to the ground.
I jump a little, strangely nervous as I turn to face him.
Wilder stares down at me with such intensity that I shift under his gaze. “What’s going on with you and Reid?”
Okay, I didn’t exactly expect that. “He doesn’t want me dating other people--”
“Fuck!” he interrupts, his voice hot.
I freeze. “What’s wrong?”
He runs his hand through his blond hair in an angry gesture. “This is what we were worried about! You choosing one of us, and it destroying the rest of us.”
Destroying? I lick my lips as I stare at him. Wait, when did they have this conversation? Was it lately?
Or was it years ago, when they shut me out?
“And now, it’s happening,” he goes on. “And I want to hate Reid for it, but I just wish I was man enough to step up instead.”
I feel my cheeks heat, shocked by his words. “You didn’t let me finish. Reid doesn’t want me dating other people…except, well, except he thinks I should date all of you.”
The room grows so quiet that I swear I can hear the wind whistling outside.
“Is that what you want?” His voice is barely louder than a whisper.
I can’t find the words to tell him yes, not when he’s looking at me like that, so I just take a tentative step toward him, biting my lower lip.
That small step toward him is all he needs.
He moves closer, closing the space between us. His gaze never leaves mine as he leans down to me, his lips inches from mine. He seems to be waiting for me to tell him no, but I’m doing everything in my power not to scream yes.
When his lips finally meet mine, my head spins. I cling to him, his lips soft at first, and then growing harder and more certain with each second that passes. A tremble moves through his body, and I press myself closer to him, glorying in the thin material of his workout clothes.
His tongue sweeps into mine, surprising and delighting me, and then my tongue meets his. He groans, and I realize that I can feel his erection straining against my stomach.
I have the sudden urge to grab his hard length and show him just how much I’ve wanted to touch him over the years. But I would never do that. Fortunately for me, I can feel the god inside of me lending me a strength and confidence I’ve never had before. It’s like one minute I’m scared to say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, and then, I’m just…not.