She kicked the wall twice more.
“Sera, love, stop,” Miss Magdalene cried hoarsely. “You’ll injure yourself.”
But she didn’t stop. She kicked the wall with such force that she fell back onto her rear in the grass. She cursed, then let out a wail of pure frustration.
She reminded Adam of Adeline when the world had spun out of her control, and all she could do was rage at it.
So he did what he did for Addie in such times. He crouched down beside her and gently touched her shoulder. “You’re upset, love, aye?” he asked in his softest voice.
“Yes, I am upset,” she shouted. “I have every right to be upset. My friend was made a prisoner by her own husband. My neighbors are killing birds to threaten me. And yet I am the one considered dangerous to the social order? What have I done? What on earth have I done?” She pounded the grass with her palms.
He wrapped her in his arms and squeezed her tight.
He expected Sera to push him off, but instead she stilled.
“Just take a breath,” he whispered.
She inhaled deeply. Her fingers found his waist and clutched at him. He stroked her hair. Over her shoulder, he saw her friends looking on at them, perplexed.
“I’m just so bloody angry,” she whispered, as if needing an excuse to let herself seek comfort.
“I know it, Sera,” he murmured. And it was not a noble feeling, but a part of him was pleased that she was letting him hold her. The part of him that flared in indignation when she protested that they were not friends knew she needed kindness. He wanted to show her she could take it from him safely, without worrying he’d lose his head and propose marriage on the spot.
Slowly, the tension in her body relaxed. She pulled away and brushed off her skirts.
“I’m sorry,” she said, rising to her feet. “Every so often a woman must indulge in a hysterical outburst, lest the things they say about our precarious sanity seem unfounded.”
Her friends only stared at her warily.
“Come back to London with us,” Miss Ludgate said in a voice scarcely louder than a whisper.
He did not wish to see Seraphina go. But if someone would do this, who knew what else they might do. He’d rather see her go than see her hurt.
“It might be wise, Sera,” he said.
She shook her head vehemently. “No. No, I’m fine. I came here for a reason—to remember, so that I can write my book. And I will tell you this. It’s working. I remember all too well.”
Adam pulled out his timepiece. It was nearly six o’clock. He was reluctant to leave but he could not worry his children again.
“I have to return home. I’ll come back tonight to check on you and bring a man to keep watch outside.”
Seraphina’s friends nodded. “Thank you,” Miss Ludgate said. “I would not have believed Sera had made a friend here of all places, but I’m glad she has.”
He waited for Seraphina to object that they were not friends.
But she said nothing. Only stared off at the ocean, as if she hadn’t heard.
Chapter Sixteen
Most of the time it was a pleasure to have a friend who always knew the precise make of one’s character. Sera and Cornelia were so alike that it sometimes made Thaïs, who was less critical and sharp-tongued and had been raised in an altogether different sort of world, protest that they were like one head with different bodies.
But sometimes one did not wish to be known quite so well.
Which was why Sera scowled at Cornelia as her friend watched Adam Anderson walk away, a small smile playing at her lips.
“Don’t,” Seraphina warned.
“What?” Cornelia asked innocently.
“That,” Seraphina said, pointing to Cornelia’s upturned lips.
Cornelia looked at her like she was a fool. “Forgive me, dear Sera, for displaying emotion. But that,” she said, pointing to Adam’s silhouette walking toward his cottage, “is a man who cares for you. And it’s nice to see.”
Seraphina rolled her eyes, refusing to discuss such things. “An unremarkable response to an eminently likable woman such as myself.”
Thaïs guffawed and Sera turned her glare to her. “Don’t laugh, you wretch.”
Thaïs crossed her arms and smiled. “Seraphina Arden, you have a brain the size of a pumpkin. Hips like the curve of an angel’s harp. But no one works as hard as you to be unlikable.”
“You like me,” Sera pointed out darkly.
“Yes,” Cornelia said drily. “But Thaïs is known across the continent for her perverse tastes.”
Thaïs’s gaze softened. “Of course you are likable, love. I only mean that he’s nice, and you are usually quite peevish to anyone who’s nice to you.”
Seraphina rolled her eyes, feeling uncomfortably exposed. “That must be why I so dearly love the pair of you,” she grumbled.
“I’m right, and she knows it,” Thaïs said to Cornelia. “She can fuss all she likes.”
Well, yes, of course they were right. She did feel more at ease with people who were distant and reserved than those who wore their emotions openly.
But this was not a flaw in character.
It was a prejudice for people like herself.
She preferred talk of feelings to be safely ensconced within the realm of theory, especially when it came to men. The men she favored were the kind who did not wish to linger. Who shared a taste for the kind of relationship that did not take root beneath the skin.
It was important, this rule, as the kingfishers attested. Only two men had ever known of her love for kingfishers, and one of them had cast her from his house and the other, she increasingly suspected, was leaving their corpses as gifts. Terrorizing her in a way that said if she remembered, he remembered, too.
This was why it was inadvisable to share the contents of one’s heart. When the warm feelings curdled, the knowledge of those tender places remained like a map of where to twist the knife.
And yet, her body still vibrated from the warmth of Adam’s hug.
She’d enjoyed that hug.
She’d enjoyed it far too much.
She needed to draw a firmer line with Adam. His kindness was admirable, but it would not lead to anything she wished to entertain.
“I will say this for Mr. Anderson,” she said, plastering a puckish smile on her lips. “He is not nice in bed.”
She had been hoping for a laugh to break the tension, but instead Thaïs’s eyes went reflective.
“’Tis a well-known fact that I’m nice in bed,” she mused. “But I don’t give my lovers hugs like that outside of it.”
Sera groaned. “What is your point, dear?”
“That the two things are not related.”
Cornelia waved their attention to the road. “Stop quarreling. Elinor’s here.”
Adam waited until the children were in their beds to collect Tegan and make the trip back to Seraphina’s. A small party was seated on her terrace, and the air tinkled with their laughter.
It relieved him that their mood was light. And yet, he wondered what harassment Seraphina and her friends must be accustomed to if they could recover from such a dreadful scene so quickly.
He was still rattled. He had returned home so ashen that Marianne had inquired if he was feeling ill.