What are you going to do with me now that you have me, Nicky?
I might as well have said, “Well, since I’m a bozo, I guess I should take you and introduce you to the competition and watch as one of them sweeps you off your feet and out of my life forever.”
Too late to take it back now.
We stopped in front of the barbecue grill and checked out the various meats grilling, hot dogs, hamburgers, sausages. Jay also had pork smoking in the smoker next to the barbecue that was always to die for. He had started cooking at eight in the morning.
Jay had his back to us and was grabbing a few hamburger patties from the cooler under one of the tables. Then he pulled more buns from the bag.
He flipped around and dropped some patties and buns on the grill. “Hey, Nick.”
“Hey. I wanted you to meet a friend of mine. This is Ruth.”
Jay pulled off his gloves and dropped them on the table. “Any friend of Nick’s is a friend of mine.” He smiled and came around the table to hug Ruth. “A pleasure to meet you.”
Why was everyone hugging her except for me?
“A pleasure meeting you as well.” Ruth smiled and eyed the food on the barbecue. “This all looks amazing.”
Jay slipped his gloves back on. “Thank you. There’s going to be lots to eat in just a couple of minutes.”
Ruth pointed to the smoker next the barbecue. “What do have going on inside the smoker?”
“Nothing now because I already took it out.” He pointed proudly to the big piece of pork on the cutting board. “This will be the first thing that will disappear when I let everyone know it’s ready. Do you like pork?”
“I love it.”
“Well, you have great timing then. Hang on . . .” Jay shredded some of the pork with a fork. He pulled a slider bun off the grill, placed the shredded pork on top, and squirted his secret sauce on top. Then he topped it with the other half of the bun, placed it on a paper plate, and handed it to Ruth with a napkin. “Try this.”
“Thank you.” Ruth took a bite and stopped chewing, her eyes opening wide. “Wow.” She chewed a little more. “Double wow. What is this?”
“A pulled-pork slider. Twelve hours marinated, eight hours smoked, honey butter slider buns, plus my secret homemade whiskey barbecue sauce on top. Voilà!”
“This is incredible.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”
Ruth licked her fingers one by one. “Are you a professional chef? You must cook for a living.”
Jay chuckled. “No, no. Many moons ago I had thought about doing it as a career. Unfortunately, things didn’t pan out, but that’s okay because I have a solid job. The family ropes me into doing this every year for the reunion.” He winked. “Okay, they didn’t have to really convince me. I love cooking for people.”
There was no way anyone, especially me, could compete against Jay in the cooking category. Sure, I could hold my own against the average person, but Jay was a master in the kitchen and on the barbecue.
He could have easily wooed Ruth with his food alone.
I glanced down at her plate.
It was empty.
Not good.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if they were married before the end of the reunion.
All because I decided to be a nice guy and introduce her to him.
Maybe I would also get a star on the Idiot Walk of Fame.
Ruth wiped her mouth. “Seriously, you may want to rethink your career. What do you do now?”
I patted Jay on the back, hoping Ruth didn’t like nerds. “He’s a rocket scientist.”
Jay shook his head. “A slight exaggeration . . . I work for Mathors Aerospace. We design unmanned drones that are able to carry emergency medical supplies to remote locations, as well as other things.”
“That’s wonderful,” Ruth said. “I really admire that you’re able to—”
I tuned them out for a little bit, trying to come up with a plan to stop this dating game in its tracks and do something fun with Ruth. Something to get her away from anyone who was male, single, and good-looking.
If I had to introduce her to one more cousin, I could choose the lowliest of the bunch to ensure there was no possibility that they would connect.
That was the problem I was faced with.
I wasn’t lying when I had told Ruth they were all catches.
All of my cousins were gainfully employed, smart, kind, and good-looking.
I was in trouble.
And the only person I could blame was myself.
Uh-oh.
I think they were talking to me, because both Ruth and Jay were staring, waiting, like they wanted me to respond to something they had said.
“Where were you?” Ruth tapped the top of my head. “You sure were deep in thought.”
“Me? Not at all. I’m right here. Sorry, what did you say?”
“I didn’t say anything. Jay asked if you wanted to have one of the pork sliders before he gets bombarded by everyone.”
I nodded. “Absolutely. You don’t have to ask me twice.”
Ruth smirked. “Actually, we did ask twice.”
Jay laughed and shredded more pork with a fork. He pulled a slider bun off the grill, placed the meat on top, and squirted his secret sauce on top. Then he stuck it on a plate and handed it to me with a napkin.
“Thank you.” I turned to Ruth before taking a bite. “Let’s grab a drink and relax over there for a moment in the shade.” I pointed to the chairs farthest away from where Jay was.
“Sounds like a plan. Nice to meet you, Jay.”
“You, too! Hopefully, we can chat more later when things slow down here.”
Ruth smiled. “I’d like that.”
I wouldn’t.
“Hang on a second,” Jay said. “Let me give you one more before they all disappear.” He prepared another pulled pork slider and placed it on Ruth’s plate, smiling. “Since you like them so much.”
“I do. And thank you.”
A few seconds later, Jay yelled out, “Grub’s on. Come and get it!”
Everyone converged on the barbecue area, as Ruth and I grabbed a couple of drinks and potato salad. We sat down to enjoy our food.
She turned to me, smiling. “I adore your family.”
I choked on my first bite of the pork slider because I thought she was going to say that she adored Jay.
That would have been the death of me.
Ruth slapped me on the back. “Are you okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Fine.”
“Try chewing next time. It’s amazing how it breaks down the food and makes it easier to swallow.” She leaned closer and studied me. “You seem different.”
“Me? I’m fine!” I held up the pork slider. “I just got a little too excited about eating this.”
I was about to take my second bite of the pork slider when my cousin, Alex, sat down in the chair right next to Ruth.
Coincidentally, he was another one of the bachelors I was supposed to introduce Ruth to.
Just my luck.
“How am I the last one to know that you have a girlfriend, Nick?”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” I said, but then regretted it, even though it was the truth. Next time, I’d just stuff the slider in my mouth whole. I’d just opened the door for Alex to swoop in and love her until the end of time.