Swallowing, I placed the equipment I'd need to help Jax on the tray behind him. “Shuffle back, so the backs of your knees are touching the mattress,” I instructed, ignoring his question.
He did as he was told but wouldn't let me get away with it. “Tell me, bird.”
Sighing, I grabbed a large pair of tweezers and started pulling the first biggest shard of glass from his back.
“This is Purgatory, so take a wild guess.” I couldn't say the words out loud, not again.
With relative ease, the first piece of glass came out of his flesh, blood continuing to pour. I'd have to move quickly. Jax was silent as I hurried along, being as gentle as I could be; if he were in pain, I'd never have guessed.
My belly was in knots as I tried to speak, my mouth dry. “Can you take your shirt off, please? I'll um, need to clean these wounds and see if any need stitches.”
I looked at the back of his head and saw his ears move; he was smiling. “Sure.”
With bated breath, I tried not to watch as he lifted the black shirt over his head.
I tried and failed.
He was so beautiful. I'd never seen such muscles of a man before, with each movement his back flexed, his skin beautifully bronzed; I wanted to fix these cuts up quickly, every part of me was on fire with a feeling I'd never experienced before.
Was it need?
Want?
I had no idea.
With a gloved hand, I pressed a palm against his back, inspecting how deep each mark was. “Hmm, I'll clean them first, but I don't think you need stitches.”
“That's a shame," he said. "You've got the sweetest touch, darlin'.”
My face went beetroot, and I nearly choked on my saliva, damn this Murdoch and his stunning eyes, gruff voice, and beautiful skin. Damn him and the effect he had on me.
Pouring some saline solution on to a cotton pad, I began to clean each wound, dabbing them dry after with a sterile pad. There was one deeper cut, but hopefully just bandaging him up would do the job. I was hot, sweat pooled at the bottom of my back. My heart raced in no particular beat, and the room suddenly felt too small.
After another ten minutes or so, I finished cleaning him up and made the stupid mistake of moving around the bed to face him. He was still shirtless, and I'd noticed his lip still bleeding; there was also a nasty bruise forming on his cheek.
“You risked your life for me,” I whispered, blue eyes meeting black. “He could still kill you.”
Jax shrugged his shoulders and winced. “You're worth it.”
I frowned. “How do you know that?”
He smiled, lighting up his eyes. “I'm a good judge of character, I suppose. Why do you think so low of yourself? What have you done that makes you think you deserve this shit?”
I sat in the chair and placed my hands in my lap. Not even Marnie asked these questions, so why was I going to tell him? A man I hardly knew?
“It's all I've ever known. I was thirteen when my father sold me for drugs. That's all my parents ever wanted; they'd never wanted me. So, before coming here, I wasn't loved, and when I arrived at Purgatory, it just got a lot worse. I don't know softness, and I don't know what it feels like to be loved-” My sentence was cut short as Jax launched from the bed, placing both hands on the arms of the chair, leaning his face so close to mine.
Surprised, I jumped back. He was close. Too close. There was a strange tingling sensation between my legs, and I felt as though my body was malfunctioning.
His warm breath caressed my skin as he spoke. “Listen, bird, and listen good, okay?”
I nodded, chest rising and falling rapidly, hitting his with each intake.
“Forget what you've known, what you've felt before. I meant what I said to you. I'm going to find your daughter, and I'm going to be the man to show you all those things. I'll show you what a true fucking man is, Ella.”
I turned my head, overwhelmed by him, but his hands were soon cupping my face, his deep brown eyes boring into me, as though stripping away each layer to my soul. My breaths were audible between us, and he studied me.
“Jax, I'm not worth the risk.”
He smiled. “It's not a risk if I know I'll win.” And before I could counter-argue, his lips found mine.
The whole world stopped, throwing every rational and sane thought from my mind as he just rested his lips on mine. His thumbs were brushing the sides of my face. Oh, my. I had no idea what I should do, but I wanted more. For the first time in my life, I wanted this kiss.
“Tell me to stop, bird, and I will. I promise.” His mouth said against mine.
I shook my head and pulled him closer. “Don't stop, please.” I urged.
Our lips crashed together this time, his tongue gently probing, working its way inside my mouth, my hands gripped on to his upper arms. Pressed into the chair, I couldn't move, I surrendered to him, and it was a moment I'll never forget. Our tongues danced a delicate dance, he tasted of cigarettes and whiskey, and it was a heady combination. My head was still held firmly in place as he kissed me some more, I'm not sure how long it lasted, but when he pulled away I felt bereft, and the need between my legs had grown stronger, to the point of almost being painful.
We were breathless, our foreheads pressed together, and for the first time in a long time - I felt hope.
Jax
I was officially a fucking idiot, that thought crossed my mind only briefly as I'd kissed her, was she worth the risk? Fuck yes. The adrenalin from fighting that prick, having her hands all over my wounded flesh, and then her telling me not to stop coursed through my veins. Her usually pale face was flushed, bright red curls framed around her perfect face, and those baby blues looked into mine with so must trust I thought I might burst.
I'd met many beautiful women. I'd dated a few, get close to a few, but none of them had impacted on me. I wanted to take her under my wings, my eagles wings, and protect my little dove. Although I knew this would be tricky if Vladimir treated her the way he usually did in front of me, how would I be able to protect her without getting my head blown off? I hadn't taken the time to figure this shit out, and right now, with her beneath me, I didn't fucking care for logistics.
“Shit, bird, you'll be the death of me.” I sighed.
She bolted upright, eyes wide like a deer.
I laughed. “Not like that,” I kissed Ella's forehead and sat back on the bed. “I was complimenting your kiss.”
“Really?” She asked, amazed.
I nodded, and we were quiet for a few.
She was the one to break the silence between us.
Standing, she smoothed down her dress and sighed. “I suppose I better go and find Vladimir.”
I tried not to snarl. “Yeah, I guess so. With any luck, Vlad's done me a favor and wiped that no good prick off the face of the earth.”
Quiet once more as she walked towards the door. She didn't want to leave me, and I didn't want her to go. I wanted to grab her hand, lie her on the bed, and tell her all the things she'd never heard before.
I didn't.
“I'll see you soon, Jax, be careful, okay?”
I replied with another nod, and she left.
Ella.
What did I do, when one wrong move, one ill-timed gaze ended all of our lives? I thought as I wandered through the mansion to find a Vladimir. He wasn't a stupid man, far from it, and as much as I hated to admit it, he could read me far better than most people. It would only be a matter of time before he realized that Jax was planning to tear him and his operation apart from the inside out.