Startling me, breaking the wicked silence, Jax pulled away from me as though I’d burned him and staggered to unsure feet.
I remained on the floor, motionless, scared. No. Terrified.
“Stop, Ella!” He yelled, smashing his fist into the wall.
I flinched, but I wasn’t backing down. “No, I won’t st-”
“How the fuck can you love me? Huh?” He finally looked at me, and I could see his face properly for the first time. “I promised you the goddamn fuckin’ world, and what have I given you? Nothing!” He pummeled his fist over and over again into the brickwork.
I rushed him, grabbing his upper arms with my tiny and weak hands, but he stopped. He let me hold him, and he let me wrap my arms around his waist, he let me stroke his hair. “Jax,” I cried.
His body slumped, and together we collapsed to the floor, but he never let go of me. He held me tight, pressing his face against my chest, and I stayed quiet, allowing him to cry, letting him expel every emotion that I recognized all too well.
Several moments passed, and it wasn’t until Jax’s sobs had quietened that I felt brave enough to speak. I knew he was hurting, but I couldn’t let him die here.
“Jax,” I wiggled from his grasp to hold his face between my hands. I wanted to look into his eyes, and I wanted to see the face that had given me a reason to go on and fight for my child. I wanted to see the face that made my heart soar. Looking past the bruises and swelling, I could see those dark orbs, the ones that held so much and betrayed how he was feeling at any given moment. “We can’t give up, not now, you hear me? We’re so close, and I know it seems hopeless, but do you know how many hopeless situations I’ve been in? I’m still here.” I leaned forward to kiss his lips, a feather-light touch, avoiding the cuts. “I never knew why I carried on, and I never understood why my mind didn’t completely break and have me end it all. I know now why I kept on fighting.”
He looked at me, his eyes wet and shiny.
“I was waiting for you, Jax, so don’t you dare leave me now, don’t you dare give up on me because everything we have both been through will have been through nothing. I love you, Jaxon Murdoch, and you can’t stop me.”
Taking my breath away, Jax crashed his mouth against mine, our bodies fell to the floor with him above me, and I cried in relief, kissing him back, although acutely aware of his injuries.
“Jax, you’re going to hurt yourself,” I said through a smile.
“I don’t give a fuck, bird. I’m sorry,” Jax said between kisses. “I’m so sorry; I love you.”
Jax.
The physical pain was indescribable. There was no way of telling what part of me wasn’t broken; even so, it had felt like nothing compared to hearing Ella beg me to come back to her. I wobbled, I admit it, I was embarrassed; I was broken, and I still hadn’t told Ella that we’d found Sarka, Her daughter.
In a moment of pure selfishness, I’d launched myself at her, after so long wondering where the hell she was and knowing she hadn’t given up, was too much to bear without feeling her flesh on mine. Her hair was shorter now, by her ears, and as I ripped the dress from her body, I noticed new marks, new cuts, and wounds, but nothing would ever or could ever dim her beauty.
“I missed you so damn much, bird,” I groaned into her mouth, my hands pushing her thighs apart.
Her hands, although gripping my back, were gentle, her blue eyes shone beneath the flickering light above us, and with one arm resting beside her head, I pushed inside of her. Nothing had ever felt better. My knees were screaming against the concrete floor, but I didn’t care; I thrust into her, moving my hips in a slow, deep, and steady rhythm. Ella met me, her hips grinding, her legs hooked around my waist as her mouth devoured my neck.
“I missed you, too.” She cried, her warm walls clenched around me and an echoed moan that fell from my lips bounced off the walls, everything sounded louder, our skin against each other, her mouth on me, her pants of pleasure. It was all-consuming, something I’d never experienced before.
This was making love. We may not have said anything, but we both could feel it, a new kind of bond, a new kind of connection being formed between us as I rode us both to that edge. I wanted us to fly together, to take each other in such a way that we’d never want another person again.
I knew she was close. Her slender spine was arched, her pants coming quick now, I pushed harder, ignoring the burning agony searing through my chest and my back. I gripped her thigh and rose slightly, hips moving with need.
“Oh, Jax,” she cried, her hands moved to my hips, and I felt her urging me forward, silently telling me she needed this just as much.
I wanted to be as close as possible when she came, and so I sat up, pulling her into my lap, our bodies still connected and wrapped her legs around my waist. My hands snaked up her spine, sending goosebumps across her perfectly pale skin, before holding on to her hips. She soon found her rhythm and watching this incredible woman love me, I couldn’t hold on much longer.
“Ella, look at me,” I said through gritted teeth. “I fucking love you,”
“I love you, too,” she replied.
And that was it. Together we fell over the edge, we flew in absolute harmony, our hands never once letting go of one another and everything I had flooded inside of her, each pump elicited a guttural growl from me as Ella buried her face into my neck. Her body spasmed, as did mine, and I never let go, I held her bare chest against mine and closed my eyes, savoring this moment to memory.
And, just because it was the way our luck went, as I was about to open my mouth and give Ella the news, the door opened with a loud thunk, and we didn’t even bother to move apart from each other.
“Christ, Murdoch, put on some fucking clothes, we got a problem.”
Chapter Thirty Four
Ella.
“Why the fuck should we listen to you?” Jax growled, gently moving me from his lap and grabbing his boxers from the floor.
Benny looked over his shoulder before moving quickly into the room. He handed us a bottle of water each and gave Jax a clean pair of pants and a black t-shirt. “Look, mate. I had no fucking choice, alright? He threatened my family. I’ve got an ex-wife and four kids to look after, to provide for, he would have fucking killed them. So you can be mad at me, and I’m fucking sorry, but we don’t have the time to go into it right now, okay?”
I had no idea what had happened between them, and I half expected Jax to be a stubborn ass, but he relented, taking the clothes with a weak smile of thanks.
“It’s Carter; he’s on the roof with the kid. There’s a bad fucking storm, Jax. The man’s lost his damn mind.” He lowered his voice, “if I’m found here, my kids are dead, so I can’t stay, but you need to get to him fucking ASAP.”
My heart slammed into my ribcage, and my eyes were wide, looking at Jax, who was finding it hard to look at me. “Jax, what child? What’s he talking about?”
There was a sense of urgency in Jax’s movements now, despite his injuries, he threw on his clothes and ran his fingers through his jet-black hair, and then he was in front of me, gently holding my shoulders, black eyes on blue.
“We found her, Ella, your daughter.”