“You’d be better off without me,” I whispered. “You should run while you can. I’m toxic…”
“No.” He growled in my ear. “Never.”
“I will destroy you.”
“You already have.” His voice was low and husky, nipping at my ear. “I knew the moment I saw you. But when we were in the cupboard together…the bomb may not have obliterated me, but you certainly did. I told you I’m not good at vocalizing my emotions, but know this, Duchess… I’m in love with you.”
A sharp gasp came from me, the deep rumble in my ears sliding over my skin and piercing my heart like a javelin.
“So, if you’re toxic, then I’m toxic with you. Fuck the world. We lived through a terrorist attack. Who gives a shite what they think about us? You really only like animals anyway, right?” His hand slid to my chest, his palm feeling the air heave from me, his declaration shocking my system in a completely different way, cracking a bit of happiness in the dark. “What do you say, Duchess? Fuck the world with me?”
I swiveled around, my gaze going to his, losing myself in his heated stare. Blimey, I was so deeply in love with this guy, there was only one answer to give. “Fuck the world.”
A hungry smile tugged on his mouth, his hand lacing with mine. “Let’s start in the shower and go from there.”
Walking next to him, a smile I never imagined I could possess tonight spread over my face. And I let the rest of the world and their opinion fall away like the dress I was wearing.
Chapter 24
A honk from a car below dragged me out of a shallow slumber. Opening my eyes to the dull morning light, snow clouds painted the room in greys and muted blues. I snuggled deeper into the warmth of the naked body curled around mine. His arm curled over my hip, the soft flutter of his breath skating against the back of my neck in a steady rhythm.
There was a moment of pure bliss, of feeling safe, happy, and in love, before reality came up and spanked me like the bad girl I was. The evil, slutty bitch the world was waking up to.
My gut twisted as I rubbed at my burning eyes. Lennox made sure he exhausted me enough to pass out right away, but my conscience wouldn’t let me sleep for long intervals, bolting my eyes open with a surge of panic. He would soothe me until the rapid beating of my heart ebbed, and I would drift off for a bit.
Rinse and repeat.
I stared out the huge windows. The sky looked the same. The flats and shops were no different. The bustle of people moving down the streets was familiar.
But everything was different. My life had been completely flipped upside down. This wasn’t a private matter between the parties involved. No, this was on the world stage, and everyone was going to have a say on what I did and how I responded to it. There was no winning, no right choice. Whatever I did, it would be the wrong reaction to someone.
My bones aching to move, I slowly tried to move away from the large frame behind me.
“No,” he grumbled, his arms pulling me back against him, curling around my stomach, his mouth snuggling against my ear. “Not yet. It’s only six a.m.”
“You can keep sleeping.”
“Few more minutes.” He gripped me tighter, his voice low and husky. “Before we face what is coming at us. Okay?”
I exhaled, trying to relax back into him, taking in the last moments of peace, where it was just him and me, before the bloodthirsty hyenas out there attacked. Before I confronted the consequences of my actions.
But I couldn’t relax, knowing how much I needed to do: call my father’s lawyers, the royal PR, their lawyers, speak with my family. I had no doubt the media was already camping outside our estate, hoping to get a glimpse of them or me.
“No one knows where you live, right?”
He sighed, loosening his hold. “That lasted thirty seconds.”
“Sorry…I just can’t turn it off.” I sat up, climbing out of the bed. I snatched up his hoodie from the chair, zipping it up against the chill in the air; the feel of encroaching snow crept into my bones.
Today was Christmas Eve.
The day was usually spent with my family. Landen and I would get tipsy by the fireplace, playing games, driving Fredrick nuts, while my sister twirled around, singing Christmas songs relentlessly.
None of those things would happen today.
My mom did not handle challenges well. Either she would get so drunk she’d pass out or never get out of bed at all, not thinking about how much my sister loved the holiday. I felt even more guilty for taking that away from Olivia. She was too young and naïve to be punished for my actions.
“Hey.” Lennox climbed out of bed, striding to me, cupping my face. “You’re going to the dark side.”
“There is no other side.” I stared up at him. “I don’t think you get how bad this will get. I’ve been in this world enough to see when Eloise didn’t greet the princess of Norway the way people thought she should, and she was in the press for months about their feud. The press spun it as jealousy, a fight over a man, or said they were actually in a lover’s tiff. My incident with the animal shelter will seem like rainbows and kittens.”
“And we will get through it. Fight back.” He tipped my face back. “Fuck the world, remember?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Fuck the world.”
He stared down at me, not believing my words.
“You know how I said I’d wait for a truly tequila worthy day?” I swallowed. “I think it’s that day.”
He gripped my face, his mouth grazing mine. “I’m gonna jump in the shower, and then we can start on making a dent in the tequila bottle.” He kissed me deeper then broke away, strolling toward the shower, forcing my gaze on his firm arse flexing as he walked. “Start some coffee if I have any.”
Venturing to his galley kitchen, the sound of the shower turning on brushed at my ears. Searching his cupboards, I found almost all of them bare.
No coffee. Not even tea.
The desperate need for coffee trickled into my veins, digging my teeth into my bottom lip.
Buzzz
The low murmur of my mobile rattled on the surface where I plugged it in. Picking it up without thinking, my mouth parted as my gaze ran over the screen of my very private phone: 45 missed calls, 73 text messages, 2,000 DMs, 89,000 notices of my name being tagged, the number continuing to jump as I stood there.
But it was the latest text that caught my eye, my finger clicking on the number.
Need to talk. Café across the street. Alone. Now.
Lord William’s message iced my veins, turning my head to the window as if he was floating stories up, staring inside. Exhaling, I darted my attention to the bathroom, the shower still running.
Lennox would demand he come with me, but I was in no place to piss William off. The scandal of Landen would level my family. We couldn’t survive that as well. And protecting my cousin was my priority. It was the least I could do after all the crap I’ve caused.
Rushing, I slipped on the jeans and Chucks I had left here, shoving on a ballcap of his and a hooded jacket. I snuck out of the flat, my heart hammering against my chest like I was some thief.
Ducking far into the hood and pulling the bill of the cap down, I stepped outside into the freezing air of December, ice stabbing at my cheeks and nose. Hints of snowflakes teased the sky, the street relatively quiet because of the holiday. I jogged across to the small café filled with takeaway items and baked goods that couldn’t overpower the rich, delicious smell of coffee.