Reminding me of the time I used to love this man and he was everything to me.
“I love you, Phoenix,” Sebastian whispers against my forehead before placing a soft kiss on it and then dropping to his knees, right on the sand, and the distant sounds of the ocean lapping against the rocks in the background. “I can’t imagine living in a world without you.” He takes out a velvet box from his pocket and opens it up, the diamond glistening in the sun, and I gasp. “Will you marry me and spend the rest of your life with me?” he asks, and I nod, tears forming in my eyes that transform into giggles as he gets up and hugs me close, spinning us around, and finally stops.
I lean back, palm his head, and tell him, “I love you, Sebastian. Yes, a thousand times yes.” Our mouths connect with a kiss while I think it’s possible to die of happiness.
“Phoenix,” Zachary calls, tearing me away from my past, and I look at him, his mouth set in a flat line while something unfamiliar flashes in his eyes.
I’d say it’s possessiveness, but how ridiculous is that, right?
I step back from the counter, not caring about the liquid spilling on the floor now, while I try to understand what’s going on.
Somehow, on my first day on the job, I get trapped between the past and the present, the ex-husband and my worst enemy.
Or rather…
I get stuck between two men.
One I promised to love till my dying breath, creating a life together where no hardships would have been able to snatch me away from him.
The other I promised to hate till my dying breath, never forgetting what he has done to me as my body and the pain in my chest are constant reminders of that.
Two men.
Two different emotions.
And among these two men, I have to find a solution and middle ground to remove them from my life once and for all.
Because both of them have destroyed me once, stripping me of everything to the point that I almost believed I killed Angelica King.
They made me think I was a murderer.
And for that… for that, I will never forgive them.
Never.
Chapter Nine
“Past and future can collide in such a way that it shakes someone’s present.”
Phoenix
From Phoenix and Zach’s letters history…
Dear Zach,
How are you?
I’ve been thinking how to start my letter to you. I wrote it and then folded the paper only to get a new one and start again. All the beginnings seemed so lame… and this one is probably no better, but I figure I gotta start somewhere, right?
I’m the girl you met on the playground, P. Not sure if you remember me (it has been one year since you last saw me). Probably not, because you never wrote a letter to me.
But… something extraordinary happened today. And as sad as it sounds, I didn’t have anyone else I’d like to share this information with but you.
I’m one of the best students in my class, and when I say the best… I mean I understand all the subjects, and it becomes boring for me to sit through all the explanations. In fact, I found the book for older grades and couldn’t help but love all the chemistry equations. (Still hate math, but in my defense, even the subject I dislike is easy for me. That A-minus I once got was an accident. I was distracted.)
Not to mention they have so many interesting things about biology, unlike the 4th graders’ book. The information there is so simple I’m not sure how the class doesn’t get it and needs to listen to the teacher over and over again.
Principal Eva saw me sneaking a book from the library on quantum physics two weeks ago and called me to her office, asking me why I did it.
So I told her (Of course in a different way than I’m telling you. I’m not sure she’d have liked me talking so badly about her school.), and she made me take some test.
And today the results came in.
Apparently, I’m super smart. They used the term “genius child,” and it means they had to move me up a few grades. This way I will finish school at fifteen, and you know what’s so awesome about it that I couldn’t wait to share it with you?
I get to leave this house at fifteen to go to college, because the principal said I won’t have problems getting scholarships if all goes well.
Can you imagine how happy I was? How happy I am?
Words are not enough to describe it.
Ms. Thomson (my foster parent) sneered, of course, that I’m just one among thousands of smart kids and not to get my hopes up. She even joked I might get pregnant, and then all my dreams will go down the toilet.
Like ewww… I don’t even crush on boys (just notice if they are cute). Why would she say something like that?
Anyhow, I hope you are having a great time in Italy (that’s where you are, I think, based on your address, and I would love to visit the country one day, by the way. The pictures I’ve seen on the internet are so beautiful, plus the food!) and don’t mind reading this letter.
Or maybe it won’t even reach you, or you will just throw it away. I’m not sure anyone writes actual letters these days. Emails are the thing, but I find this idea weirdly exciting.
Okay, I’m done with my ramblings, and I’m going to quickly mail this letter before I change my mind and start a new one.
Best wishes,
P
Two months later
P,
Congratulations. School fucking sucks big time, and I’m glad you’ll be out of it and out of the freak house faster.
Italy is beautiful, but the funny thing about travels? All the beauty fades away if all you want to do is come back home. But you can’t because the father dearest forbids it, and you have no say in what goes on around your life.
At this point, I probably sound like a bitter jerk, but I figure I can say that since we are sharing.
Such is life though. People are mostly never satisfied with what they have. They want what they don’t have, and it makes them miserable.
You can write to me if you want, but don’t always expect an answer. I’m just not wired this way. Although it probably will be the most ridiculous thing I’ve done in my life.
That being said, you will find a little gift inside the envelope. It’s a bracelet made out of the stones I found on the streets of Rome. Had it done by some cool professional and added one more stone to it, right in the middle called a citrine. It brings luck to those who wear it. Hidden by the regular stones, no one will try to take it away from you or think it’s valuable. Whenever you’re in doubt, just look at the stone and think about your dreams,
Or at least that’s what my mom used to say about it.
I hope you like it, and once again congrats on the achievement.
Best,
Zach
P.S. Fuck what Ms. Thomson says. Bitter people always spit some bullshit to those they see potential in. Study well and get the hell out of there. Life is too short to listen to anyone.
Even me.
Phoenix
My heart beats so fast in my chest I almost feel it in my throat, and there is a ringing in my ears that, for a second, casts a fog on my vision, as their faces and words form a long- -ago echo in my mind one after another.
And all the pain from the past slashes through me again, fueling my blood with its venom, and I’m back in a place where I was almost four years ago.