And he’s just going to keep laughing in my face.
“That was one of the things we found, when you use the wrong words for someone,” Mom explains.
“Well, then maybe you understand how it isn’t a fucking joke?” I say just loud enough so they can still hear me.
Neither of them acknowledges it though. In fact, they start looking around at all the other students like they’re purposely ignoring me.
“You know, this really is a nice school,” Mom says. “Very modern.”
“Yeah, it’s perfect.” God, why won’t they just leave? “Now, please—”
“Oh, great,” Dad whispers under his breath.
Oh no.
Fuck me.
Hannah’s coming right for us, Thomas on her heels, and Nathan’s behind Thomas. A fucking conga line of disaster.
“Ben, I’m sorry, I—” Nathan tries to say, but he’s blocked out by Hannah.
“What are you two doing here?” Hannah doesn’t waste any time, getting right in Mom’s face.
“Hannah, listen—” I try to beg her to calm down. “Please don’t do this here.”
“Stay out of this, Ben,” she pushes back.
“Hannah, honey, come on.” Thomas takes Hannah by the shoulders and tries to lead her away, but it’s no use. “Let’s just go outside.”
“I’m going to ask you again.” She points a finger right at Dad’s face. “What are you two doing here?”
“We came to see Ben,” Mom says calmly.
“We wanted to support him,” Dad says.
This can’t be real, this can’t be happening. Not here, please God, not in the middle of the freaking school lobby.
“Oh, so now you can support them? After you kicked Ben out of the goddamn house?”
Not here, not here, not here.
I feel Nathan step closer, his arm wrapping around my shoulder. All I want to do is pull away, run out the door away from the place. But I can’t. I’m frozen where I stand, my stomach churning as that nauseated feeling takes over.
“Hannah Marie De Backer,” Dad tries to say, but Hannah isn’t having any of it.
“Do you understand what you’ve put Ben through, the panic attacks, the anxiety? You kicked out your own child, for god sakes.”
“This is none of your business,” Dad huffs. “We’ve realized our mistake, and we’re working to fix it. Ben’s even agreed to come back home after he graduates.”
Oh no.
Hannah turns on me. “What?”
This isn’t happening, this cannot be happening. “No, no, no, that’s not what I said!” Where did he even pull that from?
“We met up the other day and discussed him coming to stay with us once he’s done here. That way he can properly pursue a college education.” Dad keeps talking.
Hannah starts to laugh. “You met with them? After what they did?”
I have to wrestle my way out of Nathan’s grip, and it’s not until he’s let go that I realize he was basically the only reason I was still standing upright. “Hannah, please stop. I swear to you, I’m not going back there.” I stumble, nearly falling to the tile. “I never said I’d go back there.”
“Ben.” Dad actually looks surprised. “You said you’d come home after graduation.”
“They aren’t going anywhere,” Hannah says.
“Listen here, you little bitch—” Dad almost raises his hand. I can see the twitch of his wrist, stopping himself when he remembers we’re in public. He never hit Hannah. Never.
At least, as far as I knew …
But maybe he’s at his limit with both of us. Maybe this is proof enough. He’ll never change, neither of them will.
“I wasn’t serious.” I raise my voice without meaning to. “I said what I thought would get you off my back.”
“We thought that you’d be a little more understanding.” Dad’s getting louder with every word.
And suddenly, I’m hyperaware of everyone gathered around us. Like this is some kind of fucking fight in the hallway.
Mrs. Liu’s just standing there, staring at me, her face full of pity. Meleika and Sophie found Nathan, and all three of them look like they’re ready to actually brawl or something. Hell, Sophie’s even got her heels in her hands, ready to go. Stephanie’s staring at the disaster in front of her, alongside every other North Wake student here. Their parents, and friends.
Everyone.
“I …” I feel myself start to shake, and I can’t stop it.
I can’t stop it. Any of it. I can’t make them leave, I can’t make Hannah calm down, I can’t do anything.
“Ben.” Nathan’s voice is so distant. His hands on my shoulders, they’re almost enough to tip me back over the edge.
“I can’t do this.”
“Ben?” Concern washes over Hannah’s face, the anger gone in an instant. “Ben, come on, let’s get you home.”
“No. I’m not going anywhere with you.” I shake my head and turn to look at Nathan. “Can we leave?”
“Yeah …” he says after a second. “Sure, come on.” Nathan’s grip tightens, and he leads me around the corner. Right to the door.
“Ben!” someone shouts. I don’t know who, and really, I don’t care.
I let Nathan lead me to his car. It’s in its normal spot in the student parking lot. Before I can crawl into the passenger seat, I hear the click of heels behind me on the pavement.
“Benjamin!”
Mom. And Dad’s right behind her.
“Stop right now, young man!” Dad shouts.
“Leave me alone,” I try to say, but when Mom grabs my wrist, I can’t help but seize up.
“Ben, we’re sorry. We just wanted to support you … to prove to you—” Mom’s stammering, and I realize she’s actually scared.
Maybe because for the first time in a while, she isn’t getting what she wants from me. And for a second, I see the woman I loved. The woman who might still love me. “Just come home, okay? We can talk this through. We’ll go meet with that doctor, and maybe he can help you through some of these things.”
Her nails quietly dig into my skin.
“No,” I say; my voice sounds strange. Even to me. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
“Ben, you’ll come home with us right—” Dad starts to say, but I cut him off.
“I’m not your son. If you ever come near me, or Hannah’s house again, I’ll call the police.” I open the door to Nathan’s car slowly. “I’m not joking. Don’t ever talk to me again.” I climb into the passenger seat, feeling the lurch of the car as Nathan backs out of his spot.
I catch a glimpse of Mom and Dad in the rearview mirror, staring at the car, mouths open.
And I honestly hope it’s the last time I see them.
When we get to Nathan’s house, I walk up the stairs to his bedroom, like I own the place or something.
“I’m going to talk to my parents real quick,” he says. “I’ll be right up.”