The image roiled her insides, and suddenly she could no longer stand to be where she was.
“This is bullshit!” she said aloud. “There has to be something I can do.”
She pushed herself off the couch and went straight to her refrigerator.
“Habichuelas con dulce for sale!” Lumi yelled as loudly as she could. The January weather had rendered her street desolate, the sidewalks ashy from the dustings of salt they had received to ward off the ice. Even so, she had made a few sales of the sweet cream of beans she’d whipped up in her kitchen. As a result, fifty dollars in small bills lined the pocket of her peacoat.
She stirred the enormous orange cooler she had snapped up at the dollar store. The wooden spoon dipped down into the viscous sienna-colored mix, and she absentmindedly watched the swirls it made as if another hand were guiding them. After two hours out in the blistering twenty-degree weather, it took much effort to keep up her spirits.
Men and women hurried down the street, bundled up, rushing to escape from the biting cold. Two more hours, she told herself as she blew warm breath into her cupped, gloved fingers.
If she had made fifty dollars in only two hours, perhaps with two more she could go grocery shopping for the week.
She spooned some beans for herself into a small plastic cup and wrapped her fingers around it the best she could despite the encroaching frost. Inhaling the tantalizing vapors, she raised it to her lips and sipped. Immediately the flavors of evaporated milk, red beans, vanilla, and cloves washed over her tongue, and the heat of the liquid warmed her chest.
A portly figure in a knee-length black puffer jacket turned the corner of Broadway and began to approach, sights clearly set on Lumi’s apartment building. When the person came to a full stop in front of her table, Lumi saw that it was not just another customer.
“Lumi?” Jenny’s shocked voice emerged as a muffled croak from under her scarf.
“Oh, hey, Jenn!” Lumi replied as casually as she could.
Reluctantly, Jenny pulled her hands out of her pockets and yanked down the scarf, exposing her ruddy cheeks to the frost. Strands of her blond hair fell over her forehead, and she shoved them back into place with her fingers.
“It’s freaking freezing out here, what are you doing?” she asked, her tone incredulous.
“Just making some money,” Lumi said, her gaze trained on the cooler.
Jenny eyed the small stand, and her face fell just a fraction. “I see. Well, can we go upstairs for a little bit? I’m sure you could use some time to warm up.”
Lumi looked up and down the street. She didn’t want to miss any customers, but if she was being honest with herself, she could barely feel her toes anymore.
“Okay. Let’s go in,” she said, hoisting up her steaming cooler while Jenny folded the table.
Lumi cringed as she undid the lock on her door and removed her peacoat. She already knew what Jenny was going to say.
“Jesus! Lumi, are you starving yourself?” Jenny gasped as she took in her friend’s now-spindly frame.
Lumi gave her a short hug and stepped back just as quickly. “No, of course not, Jenn,” she fibbed.
Jenny’s hazel eyes were frantic with worry. “You must have lost twenty pounds since I saw you last!” she said. “I’m going to have to bring you to work with me!”
Lumi tried to fake a laugh. Jenny had become a receptionist at the French Culinary Institute while they were both students there, and shortly after graduation she had moved to the alumni relations department, where she was now junior director.
Jenny marched over to Lumi’s refrigerator and swung open the door. She covered her eyes with her hand after she saw the cartons of coconut water and two or three stray grapes that were the sole denizens of that space. After ten years of friendship, she knew that food was everything to Lumi.
“Oh . . . honey.” She sighed, turning to Lumi and looping her arm around her. “This is bad.”
It had been years since Lumi had cried in front of anybody, but now, after being alone with her grief for so long, the sobs just spilled out. The women sank onto the couch, and she let Jenny hold her until the tumult subsided and she could speak. She leaned her curly head on Jenny’s round shoulder.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she whispered, waving in the direction of her growing stack of bills.
Jenny patted her arm and passed her some tissues from her purse, a pained look on her face. Jenny had been following Lumi’s career trajectory since the inception of her idea for Caraluna; she had been witness to many of the coffee-fueled all-nighters it took Lumi to get her place open. Lumi, Jenny, and all their culinary classmates knew the NYC restaurant business was rough, and Lumi was certain that was why Jenny had opted for a desk job at the institute while she worked on her cupcake catering business after hours. But Jenny had always voiced her support as well as her hope that Lumi’s eclectic flair and unbreakable work ethic would carry her through.
“Hey, why don’t we go down to Eataly to get a cappuccino and a cannoli?” Jenny asked.
Lumi shook her head and sighed. “Thanks, hon,” she said, “but I don’t feel like going anywhere.”
She cringed as Jenny appraised the empty packages of saltines on the floor and the empty bottle of lavender body wash that lay just shy of the garbage bin.
“Well, at least you’re showering, lady,” Jenny said.
Lumi chuckled mirthlessly. “I love that about you, Jenn . . . always focusing on the positive.”
Jenny shrugged with an apologetic smile. “So, what’s next?” she asked.
Lumi stared blankly at the coffee table. “I don’t know.” She exhaled. “But I am going to have to figure out something soon. My savings have all but run out.”
Jenny frowned and reached out to squeeze Lumi’s shoulder. “I have an idea. But first, we’re going on a little field trip,” she said.
“But what about my habichuela stand?” Lumi asked.
“We’ll be back with enough time for you to catch the evening crowd, if there is one in this godforsaken weather,” Jenny said.
“Where are we going?”
Jenny winked at her. “To Fairway, to get some duck eggs, pancake batter, and wild boar bacon. Well, at least wild boar bacon for you. I’ll get turkey bacon for myself. I am trying to keep kosher these days. But anyway! This is about you. It’s high time you had a good meal.”
The last carton of coconut water landed in the trash can with a bang. Jenny’s meal of fried duck eggs, truffle hollandaise, and pancakes with boar bacon had been just the thing to lift Lumi’s spirits and give her the energy to get her life in order.
She thought back on their afternoon together and decided to call Jenny just to say thanks. She was glad it had been Jenny and not Rafelina, because Rafi probably would have beaten her with a shoe until she came back to her senses.
Jenny answered on the second ring. “Lumi!” she said. “Perfect timing. I am just scrolling through the job postings on the alumni site, and I found something that doesn’t sound all that bad.”
“Oh,” said Lumi. She hadn’t expected the job search to start this quickly. She knew her friend was simply trying to be helpful, though, and after tasting her care and affection and feeling uplifted by it, she couldn’t let her down. “Oh, yeah?” she asked, feigning interest. “What’s the position?”