Avery couldn’t keep from reaching out for him. She leaned forward and put a hand on his knee. “I’m sorry, Phantom.”
He shrugged.
“What happened?”
“Nothing. I went home the next afternoon because I was sick of being disregarded.”
“You went home?” Avery asked incredulously.
“Yeah. I didn’t have anywhere else to go, and even then I already knew I wanted to be a SEAL. And in order to do that, I had to have a high school diploma. If I lived on the streets it would be hard to graduate…so I went home.”
“And your mom and aunt?”
“I guess because I’d finally stood up for myself, they realized they couldn’t control me anymore. So they ignored me too. Totally. Which was fine by me. I stole money from them when I could and bought my own food and clothes. When I turned fifteen, I got a job at a local hardware store and had my own money. I moved out the day I graduated from high school and joined the navy.”
“And here you are,” Avery concluded.
“And here I am. So to answer your question, I found your story about how you decided you wanted to be a nurse interesting. One, because I didn’t have parents like yours. And two, because of the positive experience you had with your mom’s nurses and how they inspired you.”
Avery leaned forward and stared into Phantom’s eyes. “Being a nurse is hard. Really hard. I’m tired all the time. I have to be upbeat and happy even when someone is dying because their relatives don’t deserve to have someone looking after their loved one who’s grumpy and pissed off. I’ve been spit, peed, shit, and puked on. I’ve cried my eyes out when one of my patients died and cheered when an obnoxious patient was discharged.
“But I’ve never—and I mean never—treated any of my patients differently based on how much money they have, the color of their skin, or whether or not they have insurance. Every single person that I’m responsible for is treated like they’re my daughter, son, parent, grandparent, or best friend. If I was your nurse when you were thirteen, you would’ve seen what a pain in the ass a caring, concerned nurse was like.
“Being a nurse is a calling, just like I imagine being a SEAL is for you. But have no doubt, I’m not a saint. If one of my captors or that traitor was lying in front of me bleeding to death, I’m not sure I’d find it in my heart to help them.”
“Rex is a lucky man,” Phantom said.
Avery frowned. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“I did, but I’m not sure why you’re telling me that.”
“Because I see the way the two of you look at each other. I see how protective he is of you and how your eyes follow him wherever he goes.”
Avery wanted to deny his words, but couldn’t.
“In case there’s any doubt in your head, he likes you, Avery. Before you were deployed, he’d make up excuses to go to the hospital just so he could see you. We gave him crap because he was being a chicken shit about asking you out. It was obvious he liked you then, and when he found out that you were part of our mission, he about lost his mind. He’s a lucky man to get a woman like you. That’s what I meant.”
“I think it’s probably the other way around,” Avery said honestly. “I mean, he’s pretty darn amazing. I have no idea how in the world I caught his eye. All the other nurses at the hospital teased me about him. I knew he didn’t really have a reason to be at the hospital all the time.”
Phantom nodded. “Women like you are hard to find. But the other guys have all managed to find their diamonds in the rough, and things between us have changed.”
Before she could ask how, he continued.
“And I don’t mean that in a bad way. Things are just different. Instead of us all hanging out, we have barbeques on the beach and play with Ace and Piper’s kids. Or we’ll go to a bar and watch the women have a night out, then the rest of the team drives their women home to make sure they get there safely.”
“Do you want that for yourself?” Avery asked.
Phantom snorted. “No one would have me.”
“That’s not what I asked, but fine, I’ll bite. Why not?”
He shook his head. “I’m not exactly the smoothest guy out there. I say what I mean. I don’t like beating around the bush, and I’ll never be the kind of guy who will tell a woman she looks beautiful when she doesn’t. If someone asks me if their pants make their ass look big, I’ll be honest, which most likely won’t be what they want to hear. Besides that, I didn’t have the best role models growing up.”
“But you have them now, right?”
When Phantom didn’t answer, Avery went on. “Your teammates are all married or attached? And you said you hang out with them all. So what if you didn’t learn what a relationship should be from your mother and aunt? Fuck them. Seems to me that you’ve got some of the best role models right in front of you. You admire and respect your teammates, so why can’t you learn from them?”
She didn’t think Phantom was going to answer when his silence lingered. But then he said softly, “I’d make the worst father ever.”
“Do you want to be a father?” Avery asked.
Phantom shrugged. “Yeah, I think so. Not anytime soon, it’s just…I didn’t get an ounce of love when I was young. I don’t know how to talk to kids or what to do with them. When I’m around Ace’s kids, I just do what he tells me to.”
“I think out of all your friends, you’d make the best father, hands down.”
Phantom’s gaze met hers. “How can you say that? You don’t know the shit I went through growing up. I’m afraid the first time my kid pissed me off, I’d turn into my mother and hit him or her. That’s the last thing I’d want to do.”
“And that right there is why you’d make an amazing dad,” Avery said with conviction. “You know what it’s like to be abused and ignored. You know how it made you feel and what it did to you. So I think you’ll do whatever you can to not be that kind of parent to your own child.
“You’re a good man, Phantom. A little blunt, yes, but that’s not exactly a bad thing. It’s tiring trying to always figure out what you should and shouldn’t say all the time. And being nice to someone you don’t like sucks. I kind of envy you that. Anyway, back to my point, you’ll be one of the best fathers out there precisely because of what you’ve been through. You’ll be overly protective and possessive and will treat your wife and children like they’re the most precious things in the world…because to you, they are.
“Instead of fearing your background, you should embrace it. It’s made you the man you are today. The man who I have no doubt would do whatever it takes to keep me safe and get me home to see my own family.”
Phantom closed his eyes, and for a second Avery thought she’d gone too far. Overstepped her bounds. She’d just met this man, and here she was playing psychologist.
Just when she was about to apologize for presuming to know anything about his situation, he opened his eyes.
“Maybe, maybe not. But I’m not sure I’ll ever find a woman who can put up with my…quirks,” Phantom said.