I take another pull of the whiskey, and it takes five gulps until the burning starts. After another six, the glass bottle flies out of my hand and crashes against the white wall, shattering everywhere like an explosion while the amber liquid leaks down. The pictures on the wall of my father and my brother stare back at me. The picture of the three of us standing in front of this very house. “Fuck you,” I say to the empty room, but more to my brother whose picture I’m staring at. “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.”
Chapter Two
Savannah
“She isn’t worth it.” His words cut me more than anyone else. I knew this day would probably come, but I thought I had more time, or at least I hoped I would. I’m standing in the same office as I was eight years ago when I begged his father to help me. All he did was laugh at me, then toss me two hundred dollars and told me to take out the trash. I was broken then, but nothing could have prepared me for the look Beau is giving me. Nothing could hurt more.
I can hear the music from outside, and I can see the pain in his eyes. I can feel his hurt all through my bones. I want to reach out to him and touch him and tell him that it’s all a mistake. I want to tell him everything, but I don’t. No words come out. The only thing that comes out is a sob, and then Jacob swings, and it’s the final straw. Everything I touch gets ruined. I turn and open the door, then step outside to rush to my car. I’m almost out the front door when I feel a hand on my arm. Something inside me wishes it was Beau, but I know right away it’s not. My eyes roam down to my arm, and I see the stupid fucking gold pinky ring, making my blood run cold and the sadness suddenly turn to hatred.
“Now, now.” When I hear his slimy voice, I rip my arm away from his touch. You would think he would get the hint, but he doesn’t. Instead, he closes the distance between us and puts both hands on my bare arms. “I hope you’re not leaving yet.” Hearing his voice and feeling his breath make me want to vomit. The smell a mixture of cigars and whiskey. “We didn’t have a chance to catch up.” I look at him, and I have to wonder how the fuck I ever found him attractive. Sure, he’s tall, and his hair is always perfectly coiffed, and his blue eyes just pop with his brown hair. But underneath all those preppy good looks is a spineless piece of shit.
“Get the fuck away from me, Liam,” I hiss. Moving away from him, I spin to face him. I look at the man who lied more than anyone I’ve ever known.
“Now, now,” he says, coming down the last step to me. He looks around and then leans his head in closer. “Is that any way to talk to your baby daddy?”
I look around to make sure that no one is around and can hear him. The big white house is filled with people who walk around, but none of them pay any attention to us outside. “Fuck you, Liam,” I hiss. “Where’s your wife?”
He smirks at me. “Don’t worry about that,” he says and brings his hand up to rub my arm, causing me to throw up in my mouth. “Besides, we have an understanding.”
I step back, and my heel almost gets caught in the rocks, but the last thing I will ever be is vulnerable to him. “Do you both understand what a grade A piece of shit you are?” I ask, and he just laughs at me.
“I like you feisty,” he says, giving me the smirk that worked on me eight years ago. “Always did.”
“Get the fuck away from her.” I hear Jacob hiss from behind Liam, and he turns to look at him.
“Hey there,” he says as if they are long-lost friends. “Great seeing you again. I didn’t get a chance to see your son.”
“I dare you,” Jacob says, coming closer to him, “to fuck with me.”
Liam throws his head back and laughs. “Calm down there, Sheriff.” He shakes his head and turns to walk away.
“Are you okay?” Jacob asks, and right then, Casey walks out the front door, his hand in Olivia’s, and he spots us.
“Why did you leave him by himself?” I ask them. “He’s hurting.”
“He’s not going to listen to anyone right now,” Casey says, walking down the steps and looking at me. “You got this?” he asks Jacob, and then he looks at me and nods. As Kallie’s older brother, he’s never really spoken to me, but when shit went down, he was one of the few who didn’t look at me like I was the scum of the earth. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he was not all flowers and shit, but he never looked at me with disdain the way everyone else did.
“You still shouldn’t leave him by himself,” I tell them and then look down. “I’m going to get going. Can you grab Ethan?”
“Yeah,” Kallie says.
I look down and blink away the tears. “I’ll call you guys later,” I say, walking toward my truck with my head down. Something that I’ve done for the past eight years. Opening the door and getting behind the wheel, I look down at my red dress I chose for this occasion. When I got dressed today for the function, I did it hoping Beau would tell me that I was beautiful. When he came over last week and begged me to come, I couldn’t say no to him. There isn’t much I would say no to him for because I loved him. Bottom line, he was the hero in every single romance book I’ve read. He was the prince in every Disney movie. He was everything, but he looked at me like he always did—as a friend. I was his best friend, and he was one of mine.
I mean, let’s face it, I didn’t have many people to choose from. I was the kid from the wrong side of the tracks, or so I was told my whole life. My father could be one of five people, which just made me shake my head.
My mother tried as best as she could. She was a waitress at the local watering hole, and then one day, she applied for a job for the mayor and his wife. She was their cleaning lady, and she became very close with the mayor’s wife, Mary Ellen. Soon, she was doing the cooking and the cleaning, and Mary Ellen got me into the school where Beau and Jacob attended. I started there wearing secondhand boy clothes since my mother could never save enough for clothes, and Mary Ellen always felt sorry for me and gave me the boys’ hand-me-downs. I dressed like a boy until I was fifteen and got my own job and could buy my own stuff.
Jacob and Beau ignored me at first, but then when we got back to the house, I would be stuck waiting for my mother to finish, so Beau was stuck with me. Slowly but surely, we became three peas in a pod until that fateful day when our lives changed. I want to say I wish I could go back and change it. I want to say I regret everything, but then I would regret Ethan, and I refuse to allow him to feel like I’ve felt my whole life. He was never going to be told that he was lucky I kept him. He was never going to be told I had no choice. He will always know how much he is loved and how much he is wanted. I hope that if he ever finds out what I did, he will still love me as much as he does today.
Starting my car, I make my way toward my house. When I walk into the cold house, I take off the new black shoes I paid way too much for. I can’t even return them now since I scuffed the heel. I close my eyes, and all I can see is the hurt on Beau’s face. My knees give out, and I collapse with a sob, lying on the floor with my broken heart. When I finally peel myself off the floor, I walk to the couch. The same couch I spent every single night watching movies with Beau on. The same couch I bought because he came shopping with me and said it suited me. I grab the blanket hanging over the couch and cover myself with it. The smell of Beau is all around me since he fell asleep on the couch just yesterday, and I didn’t have the heart to wake him up. So I just put the blanket over him and watched him sleep, wishing I could curl up next to him. Even more, I wished he would take my hand and lead me to my bed. But instead, I moved his hair away from his forehead and bent down to kiss him lightly and then I walked to bed. By the time I woke up this morning, he was gone, but he left me a little note on the counter like he always does.