“We need to talk,” I say, and he turns around to look at me.
“I don’t like the way that sounds,” he says, smiling, and he must see that my face is probably a mess from crying all night long. “Why have you been crying?”
“It’s just been an emotional couple of days,” I say. “I went to the bank yesterday, and they denied me the loan,” I say, and he walks to me. “He was sure to tell me that the mayor’s office stands behind his decision since you will be buying the land.”
“I have no idea why he said that. I haven’t even had any discussion with anyone about it,” he says.
“It doesn’t matter, Beau,” I say. “This”—I point at him and me—“was just to keep me safe.”
“What are you talking about?” he says now, his voice going louder.
“I heard you,” I say, and he just looks at me. “I heard you yesterday with your mother.”
“Good,” he says.
“I heard you tell her that you did it to keep me safe,” I say, and he nods his head.
“Yeah, I did after I told her that I married you for love, and she laughed at me,” he says. “You didn’t hear the whole conversation, Savannah.”
“It doesn’t matter that I love you or that you love me,” I say. “It’s just too much.”
“What is too much?” he asks.
“I stood in the room yesterday, looking around, and I felt like an imposter.” I wipe away my tears. “I didn’t belong there. I don’t even belong here.” I open my arms. “This town has shown me over and over again how I don’t belong nor am I wanted here.”
“But I want you here,” he says, taking a step toward me, but I hold up my hand to stop him.
“I stayed this whole time because I wanted to show the town I could be someone else. I stayed for my bar, which I don’t have anymore. It’s time for me to move on.”
“But what about me?” he asks, and if I was a strong enough person, I would ask him to come with me. If I thought for one minute I deserved his love, I would beg him to come.
“What about me?” I ask. “What about me walking out of my house without having people leer at me? What about going into the supermarket and hearing home wrecker at least once?” I let the tears fall. “What about being treated like I am the scum of the earth? What about that? I have a chance to walk away and start fresh.” I shake my head and sit down. “I have a chance to walk out of my house and look around and smile at my neighbors. I have the chance to just be the new person in town that doesn’t have so much baggage with her that I’m buried up to my knees. I have the chance to not be known as the town whore who forced Beau to marry her.”
“You leaving is letting them win,” he tells me. “You walking away shows them that they won.”
“Then let them have it,” I say. “They took everything else from me. Let them have that also.”
“Nothing I say is going to change your mind,” he tells me. “I can sit here and beg you to stay, but you are already gone.” His voice goes low. “I can beg and plead and tell you all the things, and in the end, your mind is already made up.”
“I just need to get away,” I say. “Maybe I just need to clear my head. Maybe …” I say. “I just know that I can’t sit here without wondering.”
“Our love means something,” he tells me, breaking me. “I’m going to let you go,” he says, looking down and wiping his own tear away. “Just promise me one thing.”
“Yes,” I say because I would promise him anything.
“That before you do anything, you let me know. Before you sign anything or make any decision, you tell me.”
“I can give you that,” I say. He gets up and walks away from me, stopping and turning back to me.
“For my whole life, I’ve loved you. For my whole life, my dream was to be married to you,” he says and looks down. “It was always you. I know that I’m not the whole town”—he swallows—“but just so you know, you have at least one person.” He walks up the stairs and away from me. He doesn’t even come and tell me goodbye when he leaves, and I have to wonder why would he. If he did this to me, I would have stormed out and never looked back. I pack my bag and make one more stop before I head out of town.
I walk up the steps, ringing the bell, and the door opens. “Hey,” Kallie says. “I didn’t know you were coming over.” I look down, and she must see something is wrong. “Let me get Jacob.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Beau
I walk out of the house without saying goodbye to her. I don’t go to her because if I did, I would get down on my knees and beg her to stay. I would wrap my arms around her and never let her go. I don’t want her to stay because I’ve made her feel guilty or because I forced her to stay. I want her to stay to simply stay. I want her to choose me and not have any regrets.
The drive to the office is a blur, and when I walk up to the step, I just nod to Cassie and go straight to my office. I sit down in the chair and go over everything in my head.
I don’t do anything all day. I just sit with my door closed, looking out the window. I wonder where she is or what she is doing, hoping that she knows I’m thinking about her. I pick up my phone and send her a text message.
Me: Just wanted to tell you that I miss you.
I look at it, but then don’t send it. It’s too soon, I think to myself. I watch the sun go down, and when I walk out of my office, I walk to my truck and make it back home. I open the door, and my heart sinks when I smell her. I walk up to the bedroom where I left her this morning and see that she’s taken some of her stuff.
Sitting on the bed, I feel lost. I don’t eat supper because all I can do is lie in our bed and go over our conversation. How can she think that no one wants her here? Sure, there are some who hate her in this town, but I can count those people on two hands.
I sit up in bed now and grab my phone, texting the same text to everyone.
Me: Tomorrow morning mayor’s office nine a.m. sharp. Mandatory.
I put the phone down, and when I walk into the office the next day, it’s just before eight. I walk to the conference room and set things up. When it gets closer to nine a.m., they start filing in. Jacob and Casey are the first to arrive.
Casey looks around, asking, “Do I want to know what this is about?”
I smile and then Jacob is the one who speaks up. “How are you doing without her?”
“Horrible,” I answer. “It’s one day, and I swear it feels like someone died in my house.”
He slaps me on my shoulder. “Love will fuck you every time,” he says. “I hope you made coffee.”
“I did,” I tell him, “and I got doughnuts.” They both take off to the conference room. Tony is the next to arrive at the same time as Sal, the town plumber.
“Whatever it is,” Sal says, “I didn’t do it.”
I laugh at him and shake their hands, thanking them for coming. “There is coffee in the conference room.”