Last night wasn’t enough and this morning with her wasn’t going to be enough, either. For that matter, nor was the combination of today and Sunday and Monday, unless he had all of the days after that. He had to figure out a way to convince her to stay.
He picked up his coffee cup and took a deep, bracing sip, wishing he could just enjoy these moments with her without worrying about the future. He had no right to expect a future with her—hell, he’d only known her a week—but she had insinuated herself so deeply into his heart over the course of a few days, it hurt, really hurt, to think about saying goodbye.
He thought about his sister Jenny. Jenny met and fell in love with her husband Sam over the course of a single weekend a couple of years ago, so no one could tell Lars it was impossible to feel this much, this fast.
He knew it was possible. He just hadn’t seen it on his radar.
And he didn’t exactly know what to do about it.
***
Lars said it would be another half hour before they passed Mount Washburn, and from there, another ten minutes until they got to Lower Hayden Valley where he’d recently found the mama grizzly and her cub, not far from the wolf pack.
“Lower Hayden’s probably our best bet for seeing any wildlife,” he added. “Even if we don’t see the grizzlies, good chance we’ll see elk, buffalo, coyote…but, maybe we’ll luck out. Unusual for the wolves to be in the valley this time of year. They generally head to the mountains for the hunting and don’t come back until October or November.”
He had been quiet for a while once they started their drive, introspective maybe, and Jane had listened to the music, looking out the window. But, after a while, he was so quiet, Jane almost worried something might be wrong, so she was relieved when he started talking about Yellowstone again.
Jane could listen to him talk about the park forever. There was a confidence in his knowledge that she found incredibly sexy. She reached for her coffee cup and took a sip, glancing at him. “How’d you learn so much about Yellowstone?”
“Mostly just grew up here. My father bought the tour business from an old mountain man back in the 80s. John Cooper led tours out of Gardiner ever since he returned from World War II, but he was getting on in years, and so my pop bought him out. Old Coop didn’t have much of a business, really, mostly just took fishing parties out for catch-and-release fly fishing.”
“What’s catch-and-release?”
“Oh, man, you are a city girl,” he chuckled, glancing at her. “Catch-and-release means you let the fish go. You don’t keep it or cook it.”
“Doesn’t it have a…a thingy in its mouth…”
“Does it have a hook in its mouth? No. You take the hook out.”
“And it swims away all torn up and bleeding?”
“You use a barbless hook, pull it out gently and throw ‘em back in.”
“But, it’s in pain…”
“Jane, those diamonds in your ears? How’d you get them in there?”
“Oh, my ears are pierced.” Comes the dawn. She smiled at him. “I see.”
“Doesn’t really hurt them. They get back out there looking all tough, find a friendly little girl fish who’s all impressed, have little fish babies…better than ending up on a spit or skillet.”
She grinned. He’s so uncomplicated.
“Do you catch and release?”
He glanced at her askance. “Right now I prefer catch. Release has me a little worried.”
“Are we still talking about fish?”
“I hate it that you’re leaving on Monday, Minx.”
Me too. Jane’s breath caught in her throat. But, telling her that he didn’t want her to go wasn’t the same as asking her to stay.
“We weren’t even supposed to have today,” she murmured. “Odds were that one of us should have been in Jackson Hole this weekend.”
“I like our odds.”
“Me too.”
“I like…us.”
“Me too.”
“Jane…would you ever consider, um… I mean, what’s your plan? Now that you’ve quit working for Samara?”
She shrugged, shaking her head. “I don’t know. I don’t have a plan yet. That’s the truth.”
“You’ll stay in New York?”
“My apartment’s there. All of my stuff.”
“Right, but…are you going to live there?”
“I just—I don’t have an answer to that question yet. I quit yesterday. I have to figure out what comes next.”
“Okay.” He settled into his seat, and his shoulders drooped, as if he was backing off from something.
He wasn’t trying to ask her to stay in Gardiner, was he?
Now, don’t go jumping to conclusions or trying to see what you want to see, Jane.
“How much longer until we’re there? At…what was it—Hayden Valley?” she asked, trying to steer the conversation back to the park.
“Ten minutes. Not much more. It’ll be a lot of waiting. But, I promise we’ll see something. We’ve got about two hours to see what comes along. Promised my pop I’d—we’d be at his place by noon.”
“Why not ‘dad’? What’s with ‘pop’?”
“Nils called them Mamma and Pappa, so we all did.”
“I bet it was great to be one of four. Nicer than one of one.”
“It had pluses and minuses, I guess. I don’t know any different. I sure wouldn’t trade it.”
“You want kids?” She regretted it the moment the words came out of her mouth and cringed. Argh! Jane! The kiss of death question for any fledgling relationship! She glanced at him sheepishly and his face was merry, so he must have caught on to her discomfort.
“You offering?”
“You’re incredibly inappropriate.”
“You’re incredibly adorable…”
“Quit teasing me.” She grinned at him. “Just answer the question, Professor.”
“Umm. Yeah. I definitely want kids. You?”
“Yeah,” she answered wistfully. “More than one. It’s lonely being an only child. I wouldn’t want that for my kids.”
“I always thought I’d have three or four.”
“Three or four?”
“I could be happy with two,” he amended quickly.
This kept happening in their conversations: they’d start off talking theoretically about something, and then without warning, she’d sense that they had somehow segued from theory to reality. She decided to try something. She took a deep breath.
“Okay, then let’s have two.”
She wasn’t sure if he’d play along or get freaked out. She waited, her heart beating faster, tingling with anticipation, wondering if she had overplayed her hand or if he’d…
“Two it is,” he finally answered smoothly. “Any names picked out?”
“Swedish, maybe. Like their pop. Nothing trendy.”
“Agreed.” A smile turned up the corners of his mouth.
“Except I don’t know any Swedish names.”
“Then I’ll buy you a book and we’ll lie in bed and I’ll pronounce them all so you can decide what you like.”