His lashes fluttered as he stared down at his plate. “Okay, look. When I told him your mom knew everything now she’s dead, I was trying to say she knows he’s sorry and it don’t matter no more. That’s all.” He dug into his second meatball. “I only said it because he’s been bugging out with guilt. He took it the other way and I made it worse. I didn’t mean to.”
“And the caves?”
“That’s not my fault.”
“No?”
He swallowed a bite and wiped his mouth. Putting his fork down, he began gesturing quickly. “I didn’t want him down there in the first place! After he went to see Chapel and that didn’t work out, one of those old fishermen he hangs out with, Skip?”
“Yeah, I know Skip.”
“Skip told him he saw his dead sister in those pools. But he’s a drunk. I told Jaz it was bullshit, and not to listen to him. But he did it anyway. I went with him the first time, just to keep an eye on him. He’s not getting any younger and I thought it was dangerous. It wasn’t my idea, and I discouraged it.”
“The first time… He’s hiked down the caves more than once trying to do this?”
“Yeah, twice. I only knew about the first one, and I went with him. He would only go at night when no tourists were there, and I didn’t want him down there alone in the fucking dark. But he didn’t get what he wanted that time, so he went again, without me. Said it wouldn’t work when I was there.”
“Crap,” I said softly. “Is he losing it?”
“Nah.” Orion picked up his fork and finished the meatball. With his mouth full, he mumbled, “Pretty sure he’s past all that now.”
Past it or not, I was freaked out. My father had always been the most levelheaded person I knew. That he’d been caught up in this nonsense made me sad, and a little afraid. He’d obviously been in far rougher shape over my mother’s death than I realized. And he hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me. He’d trusted this…stranger.
“It was that second time that he fell,” Orion said. “I would have been there if I knew he was going, but he went behind my back and didn’t tell me. He knew I’d try to stop him. It wasn’t my fault he fell, Kurt. It wasn’t! You hear me?”
“Okay, okay.” I took a gulp of wine. “Slow the fuck down. What chapel? Has he got religion too all of a sudden?”
“No, Chapel is a person. My roommate. My foster brother. We don’t get along lately, but he did try to help Jaz. Just not enough in my book.” He drained his wine. “You got more of this?”
I got up and brought the bottle over, and he filled his glass. “Why did my father go see your foster brother?”
“Because Chapel talks to dead people.”
My eyes narrowed.
“I know, I know. You don’t believe in nothing like that. But it’s true. It’s why he gets all the good gigs down on the seaside. I get the scraps down here in your end of town because I’m just an intuitive psychic. You Catholics are okay with that.”
I could barely keep up with his weird stream of consciousness, trying to piece together answers from within the chaos. “I’m not Catholic,” I said.
He looked up at me. “No? Well, God bless ’em, anyway. They like having a psychic at their party to impress their friends, but they don’t want someone who talks to the dead like Chapel. They’re afraid they’ll go to hell or whatever.” He drained his glass and poured another. “But they love me. I kick their girls’ night up a few dozen notches but don’t threaten their immortal souls.”
I snatched what was left of the bottle and filled my own glass. “I think we’re getting off track here. You’re saying my father sought out a medium to talk to my mother?”
“Yup.”
“When?”
“In the spring. Didn’t work.” He shrugged and scraped the last bit of lasagna off the plate with his fork. “Your mom didn’t come through. I told Chapel, fuck man, just lie and tell him she did! Say she forgives him and it’s all good. He’s depressed, man, have a heart.”
“My father is depressed?”
He tilted his hand in a ‘so-so’ gesture. “Off and on. I never seen him like that ‘til your mom died. That’s part of why I help him out with chores and day to day stuff. Figured out if you keep him focused on normal bullshit he functions better. Otherwise he kind of goes off the rails sometimes.”
“Damn it,” I said softly, rubbing my eyes. “I didn’t even know he was depressed at all. Not like that anyway.”
“Yeah, he doesn’t want you to know when he gets that way.” Orion ate the last bite of lasagna, then wiped his mouth and pointed the napkin at me. “I told Chapel to lie, just to make Jaz feel better, but he wouldn’t do it. Fucker. Guy sits around all day jerking off to cam-girls and eating the food I buy even though he makes a shitload more money. But oh, suddenly, when I need a favor, he’s got integrity.”
“Look, I don’t care about your roommate. Do you think he’s still depressed like that, or is he better now?”
“Definitely better lately,” he said. “I know those bruises on his elbows look bad, but they’re almost a month old. He’s seemed…you know, lighter the past few weeks. Finally fishing again. He wasn’t for a long time, don’t know if you noticed. He’s eating more. And when he called me this morning, he said he felt better after telling you the truth.”
“Even so, guess I should keep a closer eye on him,” I grumbled.
“I can help,” Orion said.
I looked up at him. “No.”
“I know you don’t want me to, but I know what your father needs.”
“We don’t know each other, Orion, but I assure you, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my old man.”
“But he hides shit from you. Tells me shit he won’t tell you.”
“Yeah, thanks for rubbing it in.”
“Nah. It’s just that he cares how he looks in your eyes. But he knows I’m a messy fuck so he don’t need to impress me.”
“I’ll figure it out,” I said. “I know it’s not your fault he fell in the cave, but you are the one who got him thinking about my mom’s…afterlife judgement or whatever. I don’t completely trust you, and I don’t want you over his house paying bills or running errands for him anymore. He’s my father, not yours. Is that clear?”
He scowled, but nodded.
My glass was empty, so I got up and looked for more wine, then cursed when I realized I didn’t have any. The lush at the table had consumed most of my only bottle. I needed to stop drinking so much anyway. But listening to Orion talk about my dad was messing with my head. It was like hearing about a stranger. But on the upside, at least I was getting used to Orion’s presence, and now able to sit and look at him without my breath growing shallow.
“You out of wine?”
“Yes, Orion, I’m out of wine. Hope you enjoyed it.”
“Sorry. I don’t usually drink a lot. I was nervous, coming here.”
I rolled my eyes, not sure if I believed him. As I was about to shut the cabinet door, I spotted the bottle of whisky I’d bought last night on the boardwalk, almost full. Yes! Okay, I would stop drinking so much…starting tomorrow. I took the bottle down, and when I turned around Orion was staring up at me, grinning.