“He’s alive, but barely.”
“Keep him that way,” Sarge gritted through clenched teeth. The EMT nodded at him, and they rushed out to the ambulance.
Sarge waved at me to follow him and Spencer. “Let’s get out of here. The guys will finish up.” I followed him outside and was thankful for once I didn’t have to stick around. No, tonight I would be with the woman I loved.
For the next five days, I wouldn’t let Spencer out of my sight. She cried a lot, and I was there, wrapped around her like an anchor. I knew she was mourning her parents’ death all over again, and processing Jackson’s death along with that. Not to mention trying to make peace with all the women who died as they were caught up in the storm.
I too channeled my thoughts into files in an attempt to organize what I could. There were so many unanswered questions, but the rest would just have to work out on its own.
We had a long road ahead of us, but at least Spencer was okay, and so was I. She was one of the strongest women I had ever met, and I knew she was exactly what I needed in life.
I looked down at her asleep in the bed and stroked her hair back from her face then kissed her cheeks. She stirred in her sleep and reached out for me as I climbed into bed beside her.
“Will you hold me?” she whispered in a sleepy voice.
Without missing a beat, I wrapped her in my arms and tucked her head under my chin.
“I love you.” She tenderly kissed my jaw.
I grinned and held her close, my chest tight. “I love you too.”
Chapter Forty-Seven
Spencer
I felt sick over Jackson’s funeral, and although his father was kind and helped me understand that Jackson knew it was part of the job, it didn’t make me feel any better. I still felt responsible for his death. He was, after all, guarding me, and he shouldn’t have lost his life because of it.
I was fresh out of tears, and my anxiety continued to build in spite of everything. I knew myself and knew I needed an outlet. If I wasn’t careful, I would tune out the world completely.
I eyed the new Mac that Blake got me. He knew my old one would bring me too many horrible memories. It was a lovely gold color and had a neat black tint to it. She was so pretty, it would be a shame not to pay some attention to her. I sank into the chair and propped up one foot to rest my chin on my knee.
I swirled my finger over the track pad and woke her up. “Hello, gorgeous,” I whispered as Lloyd batted my hand, and I sighed. He was such a pain in my ass. “Go play with Bentley.”
I eyed the hound that had zero desire to help me out.
“Thanks, dude.” He gave me a huff and went back to his nap. Rolling my eyes, I went back to the computer.
Three emails popped up, all requests for me to ghostwrite. I closed my eyes to take a moment to consider then allowed my fingers to access my account, and I pressed delete.
The idea of writing for someone else had lost its appeal.
I opened a fresh Word document and stared at the blank page, my open road, my own version of therapy. The keys clicked, and my beloved world of fiction welcomed me back with open arms. I needed to start over; I needed to go home again.
I lost track of time, absorbed in my words, and didn’t hear Blake come in.
He looked over at me with that sexy grin of his that made my toes curl.
“What are you doing?” He dropped the handful of wood he carried on the stones by the fireplace then moved to me and placed his cold hands on my neck to warm them.
Instead of hiding my world from him as I would have done in the past, I let him scan the first few sentences.
“Wow.” He leaned down and kissed my collarbone with a growl. “Will I be allowed to read it when it’s finished?”
“Yes,” I smiled to myself and leaned to the side to kiss his fingers, “I’d like that.”
“You sure you want to go?” he asked quietly in a change of tone.
“I do.” I glanced at the time then hurried off to get ready.
Little beeps echoed from his windowless room. His eyes were shut, and his body lay perfectly straight.
“Hi, Blake.” The doctor smiled as he glanced up over Jonah’s chart. “Okay, here’s what we know. The bullet nicked his spinal cord, possible quadriplegia suspected. He’s currently in a coma, and we will have no idea exactly how much function he will have, if any, until he wakes, or even if he wakes.”
“Can he hear us?” Blake asked my silent question.
“We always assume people in a coma can hear and understand. There are several studies that have proven their hearing is even heightened in this state. He would not be able to respond in any way, however.”
I stepped into the room and was greeted by my aunt and uncle. Blake must have called them, and, frankly, I thought it was best they were there. We all needed to look at the monster who had destroyed a piece of us. It wasn’t just me who suffered. It was everyone.
I felt sick, and I kept a safe distance just in case and studied Jonah’s face.
You can do this.
“It’s so strange that a person you don’t even know can hate you so much, even enough to try to kill you.”
Blake took the seat behind me with a sigh. “It’s hard to understand what really tipped him over the edge, Spencer. Simply not winning that award would make most people either quit or try harder. Perhaps it was just the last straw in a long line of things that could have gone wrong. Something must have snapped inside of him, and he lost his sense of reality. He’s a sick man, that’s for sure. We probably will never know why he did what he did.”
“I know. I just hate that I got some answers, and all it did was bring on more questions.”
“Hopefully, when he wakes, we’ll get the rest.”
“If,” I corrected him.
I stepped a little closer and felt my chest squeeze. Sweat broke out over my back, and I gave myself a little pep talk that I no longer had to fear him. I stood while he lay here all alone.
“Was this really just about you being broken up about me winning that award? I wish…” I swallowed, feeling out my own words. I wanted to express my true feelings to him. “I wish you could have reached out to me instead of destroying my family, my life. I hope you do get better, so you can know my pain and pay for what you did.” Tears slipped out, not because I was sad, but because I was finally able to address the monster who nearly destroyed me.
“If,” I sniffed and took a deep breath, “if you do wake up,” I stepped closer and placed my hand over his, “I hope you know I’m happy now. I hope that haunts you more than anything else.”
Blake stood as I stepped back and wrapped his arm around me.
“Come on. Let’s get something to eat.”
Chapter Forty-Eight
Jonah
Hot waves of anger replaced the pain in my body when I heard her voice. How did I end up here when I had done everything right? I couldn’t believe I was trapped in this dark hole, alone once again.
I wanted to open my eyes, to reach out and wrap my fingers around her throat to squeeze the life out of her. I wanted to share the truth with Spencer, then watch as the realization hit her soul before the light died. She had no idea what it was all about. Or why I wanted to kill Spencer, the last person she cared for, so she had no one else left but me. They shot the wrong villain. Yes, I killed, but I did it for her.