Young in bodies. Elderly in minds.
I recall when Elsa brought Kimberly here for the first time. She watched the space with wonder in her green eyes. It’s the same look she has when reading her books and watching her dramas.
For years, I made it a point to separate her from the group because if she was close to my friends, she’d be close to me, and I couldn’t do that.
Until I fucked it up.
I might have ignored her for the past few days, but she’s been the only one I see. The only one I watch. The only one who exists in a sea of blurry existences.
There are people and there’s her. And she always shines bright amongst them.
“Why has she been absent today, Knight?”
“I’m not her fucking guardian.” I made it a point not to watch her today, if I don’t count the time she picked up Kirian. I was watching him, not her.
“You’re right, I should visit and ask myself.” He grins. “After all, we’re dating.”
“Or I can beat you up.” I smile back.
“Fine. Get all that energy out. The faster you’re finished, the sooner I’ll go to her.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Astor? Since when do you care about her this much?”
“Since you don’t care, mon ami. I’m all for tortured heroines.”
A sigh rips from me. “It’s not what you think.”
“Then tell me what I don’t think.”
I considered doing that since he started being a little fucker about this whole situation. After all, Aiden and Cole know. I only told Aiden on a drunk night, and Cole figured it out on his own.
Astor, however, has a big mouth. If he knows, she will, and I don’t have any state of mind to deal with that.
“You’ll tell her.” I lift a shoulder.
“If it’s something about her, then damn straight I’ll tell her.” He pauses. “Attend une seconde. The others know?”
“Define know.”
“What the fuck, Knight? I tell you all my shit.”
“And I don’t publish it on the Daily Mail, unlike you, fucker.”
“Well, since we’re at it.” He smiles his innocent but secretly evil smile as he stands up. “I told her about the rehab, leaving the country, and oh, that you always watch her.”
“What. The. Fuck.”
He glances back at me. “You know what? I’m taking her away, Knight. It’s done.”
One moment, I’m sitting there, the next, I jerk up, crash with him to the ground, and start beating him up. This time, he doesn’t stay still and he fights me as well. We roll around, wrestling and hitting each other. A table falls and something breaks, but we don’t stop.
“You’re supposed to be my friend, my fucking friend.” I punch him.
“And you’re supposed to be better than this.” He punches me.
I don’t know how long we go at it, but it’s long enough that I lose the feeling of my fists and Ronan’s mouth and nose become bloodied. Mine is probably the same, considering the burn in my bottom lip.
We fall back on the carpet, lying side by side, breathing harshly in the silence of the room.
“I’m just disappointed in you,” Ronan says in the most serious tone I’ve heard on him. “I hate seeing you hurt her and being hurt in return. What the fuck are you? A masochist?”
I laugh, but it’s humourless. “Probably, yes.”
“Your mum left because your dad hurt her. How can you repeat the cycle, connard?”
“Believe me, it’s not the same.”
“How so?”
I release a sigh, and I’m about to cave in and just let it all out. I might have grown up with Aiden and Cole, but Ronan is the closest to me. We always gravitated towards each other like Aiden and Cole did. It’s nature. And ever since Ronan told me his deadly secret a few years back, I connected to him more than ever before.
The only reason why I haven’t told him my secret is because, unlike me, he really doesn’t keep his mouth shut.
Before I can carry on with the crazy idea, the door opens.
Aiden and Elsa come inside, arms around each other while Teal walks alongside them. We’re watching them upside down, considering our position.
My chest tightens when I search behind them and there’s no trace of her.
Not that I want to see her.
Lie.
You’re a fucking liar.
I need a drink – or two – right about now.
“Fuck, I missed the fight.” Aiden appears genuinely offended. Arsehole.
Ronan stands up first and offers me his hand. I take it as I rise to my feet and wipe my bottom lip with my thumb.
“Where’s that fucker Nash?” I ask.
“Busy.” Aiden motions at us. “By all means, don’t stop on our account. Can we have a redo?”
“Sex and drugs and now violence.” Teal stares down at Ronan like he’s a stray, dirty dog. “What a charmer.”
Since he’s close to me, I notice the change in his demeanour, the way his body leans forward as if for a fight, but he grins, showing his teeth.
“Glad to be of entertainment, ma belle.”
“Entertainment?” She rolls her eyes. “More like a war zone.”
“Then you should take shelter, huh?”
“Are you okay?” Elsa leaves Aiden’s side and retrieves tissues from her bag to wipe the blood off Ronan’s mouth and nose.
Teal puts earbuds in and saunters to the midst of all the mess as if it doesn’t exist. Then she sits on the sofa, saying in no uncertain terms that she’s lost interest in the scene.
No idea why she’s here anyway.
While Elsa wipes Ronan’s face, Aiden’s left eye twitches, which means his inner demon is about to come out.
Just to be a dick, I say, “What about me, Elsa? He ruined my face.”
“Not you.” She doesn’t break her attention from Ronan.
“Not him either.” Aiden pulls her by the arm and throws the tissues at Ronan’s chest.
The latter smirks. “But I like Ellie’s soft hands.”
Aiden offers him a mock smile. “I’m sure you’ll also like the grave I’ve been digging for you. I’m making it nice and cosy.”
“Why not me?” I ask Elsa.
“You’re acting as if you don’t know?” She folds her arms over her chest, pinning me with a scowl like a stern teacher.
“I don’t know.”
“I can’t believe this. You’re such an arrogant bastard.”
I give her a smug grin. “I’d probably take the compliment better if we put it into context.”
“Kim pretended to have a fever so she could escape you today. She’s not even answering my calls or texts.”
Ronan glares at me as if to say, ‘I told you so.’
I resist the urge to flip him off. “As I was saying, I’m not her guardian.”
“Then stop confusing her, damn it,” Elsa snaps. “Leave her alone so she can pick up her life without you polluting it.”
“Too bad you don’t get to tell me what to do.” I wave at them. “I’m out of here.”
“You’re just a coward!” Elsa shouts at my back. “You’ll never deserve her.”