“Do you have any stories in need of a teacher inspiration?”
His cheeky smile and nervous glance played with my head. Did I? I could always as Conor for book topics, but then again, that’d be weird. My thoughts raced to all the dirty ruler and apple jokes surfacing in my dirty-addled mind.
But I couldn’t taint this cute as hell man. He needed a woman to be gentle and sweet with him, someone whose body was the exact opposite of my soft one.
Not a woman who knew what she wanted—a strong and rock-hard man to press her against a wall and fuck her like a pornstar. A man who had tattoos covering his amazing muscled form and who told me how beautiful I looked to him. One who could wear a baseball cap backward and made my panties wet just by the thought. Coen.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, tingles spreading throughout my body as I pictured Coen pressing me against a wall and owning my entire being. Hot flashes struck me while I was consumed with lust toward a man I’d willingly left.
“Rebel?” Ryan’s soft voice brought me out of my sex-crazed fantasy.
Fuck. Coen had been the only man who riled me up this way, making my head cloudy from need and desire. He pushed my limits, tested my strengths, and made me feel perfect in every way.
“I-I…”
The announcer signaled the switch of partners, and I adjusted my dress, knowing damn well my undies were soaked from a memory of a sexy as hell man with a mystical penis. Unicorns did exist. They were erect cocks that only existed in books or, in my case, on Coen’s able-bodied form.
“Hey, Red,” said the next person.
Uncomfortable, I peered up and down Conor’s anxious face, not sure if I should be pissed or terrified for his sanity that he’d ever come to a speed dating tap out. He and Stacy hadn’t work out. They were better as fuck buddies than relationship gurus. My thoughts were that their fear suffocated them, holding them back from happiness, but that was none of my business. Where was Nadège and her Kermit tea drinking meme when I needed her most?
“Why won’t you just forgive him?” His voice seemed broken. His face was sullen and sleep deprived, not all smiley like the normal Conor.
Our friendship always took a turn for the worst when Coen and I fought. We’d lost our friendship once before, and since I walked away, he hadn’t spoken to me other than trying to convince me to forgive.
“We never had much,” I lied, cringing from the dishonesty.
“Bull fucking shit,” Conor growled, clutching the table we sat at.
“Keep your voice down.” I peered around, but no one noticed the seriousness lacing our tones.
“He’s my best friend, Red. You always wreck him because of your insecurities. Before you interrupt, let me metaphorically smack you with some truth.” Conor gripped his hair, the grinding of his teeth and tick in his jaw setting me off kilter. “Coen has never loved a woman like he loves you. I see it in his eyes and the way he speaks about you. When you guys don’t get along, he drags like a sack of potatoes. I’ve never experienced a forever lasting love like yours. I’m a fun guy and haven’t found the girl yet, but I have faith that one day, I’ll find what you two have. You guys are meant to be. Yeah, it sounds sappy as shit, but have you seen how you look at each other? If you could see what I do, you’d work past your insecurities and be there for one another.”
Glancing around the room made my stomach ill. The expectant glances from the bystanders’ kind of irked me. It wasn’t their business. My ass stayed planted for another moment or two before I stood, tucked my chair in, and excused myself. Practically gunning for it, I went outside.
I wasn’t dealing with this. My big girl panties could suck a big dick.
“Red!” Conor ran after me.
He could suck a big one too. I didn’t turn. I only breathed in the moisture-filled air and pine scent that came with the Rocky Mountains.
“Stop walking away!” he yelled after me. He caught up to me easily, my not-so-brisk stride unsuccessful.
“I’m not talking about this, Conor.”
I kept my pace, heading for the trees behind the beautiful cabin I’d just left behind. The weather mirrored a perfect day. The cool air wafted through my hair, breezing through the trees and bringing me a semblance of peace.
He pulled on my arm, turning me to him. “God dammit, Rebel. If he wasn’t my best friend, and I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be here. Yet, he is, and I do. Just do me a solid and give him a chance when he tries again.” He released a shaky breath and dropped his hand from my arm.
“Okay,” I breathed out. “I’ll see what I can do. But no promises.” It wasn’t hard. All my mind and body did was tell me how much I needed to stop being a baby and be the woman he needed. “I love him so much, but honestly, I don’t know what to do with that love.”
“Start with trying to be the woman he deserves,” he answered.
“I’m sorry for breaking our family up,” I halfheartedly joked.
He was like the child stuck between fighting parents. I felt bad for actively choosing to be a bitch.
“I love you, Conor. Thank you for smacking me with some honesty,” I jested, giggling.
“I love you too, you stubborn as hell firecracker,” he guffawed.
I missed our easy conversations and the way he always knew how to make me laugh.
“Now go get more writing material and don’t act like I don’t know of your Coen-inspired book.” He winked and walked away to his vehicle. I couldn’t believe he came here just to talk some sense into me. Conor didn’t say anything to Stace, which meant they were still on the outs.
Well, that was interesting…
20
Best Friends
Author Dating Rule #69: We make mistakes too.
Don’t think we are above screwing up because of our job title.
Coen
Conor informed me that he spoke to Rebel, which in a way was about the coolest thing anyone had ever done for me but also sucked. If my plan were to work, I’d had to avoid Rebel. I wanted to make a grand gesture. The last thing I needed was her figuring out my surprise. This might backfire since she hated surprises, but I couldn’t tell her everything I planned to until I had it all ready.
What’s the point of giving her my undying love when I don’t know if I’m the father of Felicity’s child yet? All the claims Felicity had, I needed to debunk. Rebel wouldn’t want her a part of our lives’ together unless a child was involved. After a few days in the hospital, they sent me home. Well, Conor’s house, and I’d been on bedrest for a few more.
Physical therapy continued to be a thorn in my side. My therapist said to take it easy, that time was necessary to fix the damage done. I believed he bullshitted me. I’d done a ton of messed up things in my life, breaking bones, slicing open skin, and even tearing muscles and ligaments that ruined so many opportunities. But the one thing I could honestly preach was, that I never went half- assed on anything. I’d pushed hard enough because there was nothing stopping me from getting on that cruise ship.
After hobbling to my vehicle, I drove to my previous agent's building. I had only one intention—finding someone who cared about my future in biking and firing this cocksucker for negligence. What angered me most was that I never saw it coming.