A few more memories to sustain him. Finding another woman as sweet, kind, and funny as Sarafina would likely be impossible. Memories were all he had now.
If he hadn’t been glad about the magical night they shared once again, he was glad he had a heads up about Lora wanting to see him. Why did life have to be so difficult?
He wouldn’t be answering the phone when she called, not caring how rude it may appear. Hell, he didn’t intend to let his boss know she called either. Decisions were already made and he would stick with the plan. No sense in stirring the pot and changing directions. No sense in delaying his future torture.
Convincing himself to get out of bed was getting him nowhere but deeper into misery. Brushing a small strand of hair away from her cheek, his muscles stilled in pain as she shifted her weight from the light touch. She curled toward him, stretching her arm, connecting with his chest. A small sigh of relief slipped from her lips, but her eyes remained closed.
Groaning with pain, he watched her even breathing, the way she looked so innocent lying there, utter peace etched across her face. No worries. No guilt. No torture.
No. All those feelings were reserved for him. Guilt for more lies. She would never forgive him again. Perhaps she would forgive him for not saying goodbye while she was awake because saying it while she slept would have to do. He’d take that forgiveness, but she’d never forgive him for keeping the real reason for his visit to himself. Finding forgiveness himself was impossible.
Time to go. He couldn’t lay here anymore and analyze his decisions over and over. It was done. Nothing would change the course of his life now.
Leaning over ever so slightly, he kissed her forehead, lingering his lips as he scorched the feel of her soft skin into his brain one more time. Her breathing hitched, but no awareness pricked her senses.
“Goodbye, Sarafina.”
The words barely left his mouth. Gently removing her hand from his chest, he rolled out of bed with as little movement as possible. Watching her sleep as he dressed made every task harder as each second ticked by.
Cursing the unfairness wanted to roar from his chest, instead, he clutched the door handle like a lifeline tossed to sea.
“Forgive me, for everything.”
Then he was gone.
Rolling over, her arm outstretched, the coldness moved over her hand immediately.
He left.
Slowly opening her eyes, the confirmation was clear. No warm body lay next to her. No male clothes scattered across the floor. Nothing.
“Darn you, Dax.”
Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes as her head fell harshly against the headboard. This time hurt worse than the last. Forcing an ounce of surprise was useless. She knew this would be more painful, but regretting it was futile. One more day with Dax was better than none.
Being upset with him for leaving without saying goodbye was acceptable. How dare he lie about that? Why leave like that? Drawing one conclusion was all she could do. He didn’t care about her like she did for him.
Sex. That’s all this had been.
She figured she should be happy he considered her a good lay. Kept coming back for more.
Stretching her legs and moving to the edge of the bed, she paused. That can’t be true. Don’t make it less. He cared.
The energy last night, the connection created between them was too real and strong. It had to have been more than simple sex. He had to have cared for her a little bit. Perhaps he cared too much and couldn’t stand to say goodbye. That excuse sounded much better than the first one. She would stick with that one.
Getting ready for the day, especially since she had nothing planned took longer than normal. Standing under the spray of water, not to absolve his touch from her skin, but too afraid to face the day had left her like a wrinkled prune.
After having two cups of coffee, debating on a third, a knock sounded on the door. Hope sprang like a geyser reaching for the sky. Perhaps he came back. Not an ounce of foolishness touched her—he had come back last night. She never expected that in a million years. Of course, the guilt of leaving without a goodbye was so strong he couldn’t stay away.
Wanting to be surprised, she flung open the door without looking to see who it was first. She tried to keep the shock and pain out of her expression as a tired smile appeared.
“Travis, what a lovely surprise. I was having some coffee. Come on in.”
Travis walked in, kissing her on the cheek before she closed the door behind him.
“I hope I’m not intruding.”
“Not at all. I always like company.” Waving her hand, she gestured for him to follow her to the kitchen.
Pouring another cup of coffee, she handed him a mug as they took a seat at her kitchen table. “How are you doing?”
Reaching out his hand, he grabbed hers gently. “I was wondering the same thing about you.”
“Me? I’m great. Why would you think something is wrong?”
Shrugging, his face lit up a little more as he took in her appearance. Her hair was still a little damp and only combed through once and it was hard to see the new highlights, but the drastic cut was clearly visible.
“You cut your hair. I like it. It seems impossible that you could be more beautiful than you were before.”
Blushing from the sudden compliment from him, she pulled her hand away and swiped it through her wet locks. “Thank you. Dominic convinced me.”
“How is good ol’ Dominic?”
“Why don’t you two ever hide your displeasure for each other? Why don’t you like him?”
“Why would I like a man that broke your heart? I haven’t liked him since that day.”
“Strange. I never got the impression you liked him from the beginning. He can’t help who he is. I don’t hate him for that. I can’t.”
“I know. That’s one of the beautiful things about you. Your forgiveness and your kindness. You’re almost like the perfect woman.”
Something in his eyes sparked an emotion she wasn’t sure she wanted to decipher. Ignoring it, she laughed. “I’m far from perfect, I assure you. Now, tell me how you are. What are you doing today?”
“Hiding. I just want to rewind the last few days like they never happened.”
Needing her space earlier, but now concerned, she reached for his hand. “Hiding? Are the police looking for you?”
His eyes had been downcast, suddenly shooting up with shock. “No. Definitely not. If they were, I would never put you in the middle. I’m trying to avoid my dad. We haven’t been seeing eye to eye lately. I needed some air from him. You popped into my head and I thought I’d say hi.”
“Good. You had me worried for a second.” Squeezing his hand in reassurance, she tried to ignore the voice of Dax ringing in her head. Don’t trust him. “Is there anything I can do to help? If you want to talk about it, feel free.”
Bringing her hand to his mouth, lightly kissing it, he shook his head. “I want to forget about him right now. Have you eaten? I’d like to take you out for a bite to eat. We can have brunch.”
Tossing the decision around her head, the voice of Dax popping in, she smiled. “I’d like that. Give me a few minutes to change and fix my hair.”
Travis stood up with her, sweeping a lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re beautiful as you are.”