“Sorry,” I blurt.
I don’t know what I’m apologizing for—kissing her or ending it. Both, I think.
She smiles at me and I nearly lose it right there. The woman has a gorgeous smile. It’s like sunshine on a cloudy day and I want to see her do more of it.
“Don’t apologize, Jared. It’s not like kissing you was a chore.”
Her words douse the flames of my passion. What the hell am I doing? I can’t go around kissing women—certainly not Nia. There are feelings there, feelings I need to push down. I can’t go there with her—with any woman.
But my overprotective streak is in overdrive. I promised to protect her, and I meant it. I will not let any harm come to her. Why, I don’t know. All I know is I can’t turn this overbearing side of me off, even though I want to. Nia isn’t my problem, as selfish as that sounds. Whatever trouble she’s wrapped up in is not my trouble.
Yet…
I can’t let this go. I can’t turn a blind eye to it and hope things will work out okay. My need to keep her safe is overriding all common sense.
I don’t understand it, but I can’t ignore it either.
I have no idea what possessed me to kiss her, but it felt right. In fact, I very much want to kiss her again. It takes all my strength to refrain from closing the distance between us once more and taking what I want.
“I shouldn’t have…” I glance away, unable to look at her any longer and resist the craving I have for her.
“Then why did you?”
“Because I couldn’t stop myself,” I admit, hating how pathetic I sound, how needy, how desperate.
Nia’s hands come to my face and I grasp her wrists loosely, not sure whether I want to stop her touch or demand more. I run my thumbs over her wrists, her dark skin a contrast to my lighter tan.
“Then don’t stop.”
This time, she takes the initiative and leans into me. She brushes her lips over mine, the soft skin and the way she melts into me making my cock turn to rock in my coveralls. I should care. I should stop this, but I don’t. I can’t.
Because Nia is everything I didn’t know I needed but that I want.
She’s spring and she’s summer and she’s in my arms. I don’t ever want to let her go. I’m not capable of rational thought, of critical thinking. All I can focus on is the beautiful woman in my arms and how she feels. And she feels good. So very good. I want more of her. I need more of her, but surrounded by the carnage and chaos of her broken store is not the place to claim it, so I pull back and press my forehead to hers.
“What are you doing to me?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “If it makes you feel better, you’re doing it to me too.”
It doesn’t, but my triumph also roars through me that I’m able to get to her in the same way she’s getting to me.
I ignore the fact she’s still married, even though it’s not by choice. I ignore the fact I bring bad luck to women in my life. I ignore everything but the need to have her.
I dip my head to her mouth, but don’t claim it. I hover inches from her lips, my breath ripping out of me in heavy pants, mingling with her own labored breaths.
Then I throw all caution to the wind and I take what I desire. I’m weak for doing it, but I can’t stop. She’s forbidden fruit and I’m taking the fateful bite. I tug on her bottom lip before I lick inside her mouth, begging access, and she gives it to me without question. That’s a heady feeling, one I want to hold onto.
Her fingers sneak inside my coveralls, tickling along my flanks as they snake around to my back. A shiver runs through me and I want her hands everywhere, touching, loving, needing.
When we finally break apart, my mind is racing.
What am I doing?
What the hell am I doing here?
This is a mistake.
It’s not a good idea.
I’m not thinking clearly or rationally about what starting something with her would mean.
What about Cooper?
What about my carefully crafted life for him?
It never involved a step-parent. Would Nia even want that? I come as a package.
I stagger back from her, my heart racing.
“This was a mistake.”
It’s not what I mean to say, but it’s what comes out of my mouth.
As her face falls, I want to take back my words, stuff them back in my mouth, but I can’t. The real world doesn’t work like that, so all I can do is deal with the fallout of what I just said.
I brace for anything, half expecting her to slap me. I’d deserve it. She surprises me by pulling her lips into a tight line.
“A mistake?”
She’s stepped back from me, putting mental and physical distance between us.
“You’re married.”
“On paper, yes, but Thomas and I are very much separated, Jared.”
“I have a son.”
“I’m aware of that fact too.”
“I got his mother killed.”
She goes silent and I can see the cogs turning in her brain as the shock works across her face.
“What?” Her voice drops so low I can barely hear her.
“I got her killed. It’s my fault.”
“Jared… no.”
“You’d be better staying away from me, Nia.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
“I want you to.” Saying these words gores me, but I need to protect her from my curse.
She nods. “Okay then. You should leave.”
I wince. I deserve that, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt all the same. “Nia—”
“Just go, Jared!”
Reluctantly, I push away from her and, with intense regret, I leave the store and Nia.
16
Nia
It’s been two days since Jared kissed me senseless, and two days since he started avoiding me. I have no idea how to bridge the gap that is growing between us, but I hate that it is. Simone came down to help me get the store cleaned up, which meant I was able to reopen pretty fast, but I find I’m missing Jared. Crazy, considering I barely know the man, but when you’ve been kissed like that, it’s hard to put him out of your mind.
I’m sitting at the counter in the store doing some inventory when my phone rings. I see Harry’s name flash on the screen and swipe to answer it.
“Harry! I wasn’t expecting to hear from you for a while.”
“I think your portrait might be something worth digging deeper into, Nia.” He sounds as serious as I’ve ever heard him, which captures my attention immediately.
I blink, his words taking me by surprise. “You do? How can a dusty old portrait of a creepy old guy be worth digging into?”
“I found some details when I removed the picture from the frame, details that suggest the provenance of the piece might be more interesting than we first thought.”
I can’t stop my brows from climbing up my forehead, even though he can’t see me. I believe him, I really do. If there is one thing Harry is, it’s good at his job.
“Really? I found the thing stuffed in the back of a storage unit among a lot of other junk. It didn’t seem like it was worth anything.”