A car suddenly backfires and I jolt in my seat. Fuck. My mind clouds as I’m transported back to the sandbox. Noises assault me, the sound of gunfire fills my head and the smell of blood is strong in my nose.
Not now. Not here. I shake myself and try to come out of this waking hell. It’s been a while since I last had a flashback, so long I thought I was done with this shit, but as my heart rate picks up speed, I’m not sure this one is going to let go of me easily.
My chest heaves as I’m hit with wave after wave of visual and mental torture. I can feel the steering wheel beneath my hands, so I know it’s not real, but breaking through the hell I’m seeing is not easy.
Fuck.
I need to come back to the present and I need to do it now, for my son.
It’s this thought that has my hellish waking nightmare diminishing.
Beeping fills my awareness as the memories start to fade, as reality starts to come back to me.
Then a small voice saying, “Daddy?” brings me fully back into the present.
I ignore the car horns and the fact drivers are maneuvering around my stationary vehicle to go through the now green traffic light. I just focus on my son in the rear-view mirror. Even as little as he is, he knows something is wrong.
I shake myself internally and force a smile.
“It’s okay, kiddo.”
I don’t know if I’m saying that to appease him or myself, but it works enough to get me moving. I hit my turn signal and carefully move through the crossing, turning onto the smaller street that leads to the garage.
When I pull into the garage’s parking lot, my heart rate is almost at normal levels, and my attention is snared by the small crowd of people outside the antiques store. It’s Nia’s big opening today. Right. I forgot about that.
I pull into a space near the workshop and Beanie comes out to meet us. He wipes his hands on a rag as he approaches the car, his coveralls stained with engine oil.
“What’s up?” he asks as I climb out of the vehicle. He double-takes and his brow draws together. “You okay, boss?”
I groan. “Don’t call me that, jackass.” I don’t want to get into the fact I had a flashback with him—we all have our own demons from our time in the Army—so I ignore the question.
Beanie lets it go, thankfully.
“You’re the boss, J-Dog. What else would I call you?” He grins at me and relief floods me that we’re not going to be forced into a heart-to-heart chat.
“Asshole,” I mutter. He knows how much titles annoy me. After leaving the Army, I thought I’d left all that behind, but Bean knows how to get under my skin.
He doesn’t care. He’s already pulled the back door open and is greeting my kid like a long-lost buddy.
“Hey, C-man, how’s it hanging?”
Cooper giggles. “You’re all dirty, Uncle Beanie.”
“I’m working on an engine, little man. Maybe we should put you to work.”
He giggles again. “We’re going to the park.”
“Nice. Maybe next time, huh?”
“Maybes.”
I shake my head. I have no idea if my son will follow in my footsteps and become a mechanic, but I won’t push him into anything. He’ll find his own path.
“Will you keep an eye on Coop for a second. I left my phone in the office. I’m just going to run and get it.”
“Sure, buddy. Me and Coop got stuff to catch up on anyway, right, little man?”
“Right.” My son nods, his expression about as serious as I’ve ever seen it.
I shake my head and jog into the workshop. There’s no sign of Slider, but the tow truck wasn’t parked on the front either, so I assume he’s on a tow.
It doesn’t take me a moment to find my phone. The battery is dead, but I have a charger in the car. When I return outside, I can see the crowd has thinned out considerably over the road. Nia comes to the door and looks out and my stomach tightens at seeing her. She looks beautiful today. She’s wearing a soft green summer dress, her legs bare, her feet in a pair of wedged heels. Her hair is loose around her face, a mass of tight curls, but her expression is not beautiful. She looks a little despondent. Maybe the big launch isn’t going as well as she planned.
I make a decision.
It’s probably a crazy one, but I make it even so.
“Little dude, I need to stop in across the road too before we can get to the park. Do you want to come with me?”
He nods. My kid is always up for anything he perceives might be an adventure.
I unstrap him from the seat and lift him down to the ground. All the while, I can feel Beanie’s eyes boring into the back of my skull and when I risk glancing at him, he gives me a wiggle of his eyebrows. I glare back, hoping this communicates nothing is going on between me and Nia, but he doesn’t seem to grasp this, if his grin is anything to go by.
I hold my hand out to Cooper and he slips his tiny fingers into my palm, so we can walk across the street together.
Nia watches us approaching, her smile warm, though a little wary. Maybe we need to address the fact I turned her down for dinner—and soon.
“Hey, Nia. It’s the big day, huh?”
She sighs. “The big day has been slow.” Her eyes slide to Coop and I can see the question there.
“Nia, this is Cooper—my son.”
I don’t miss the slight jolt she gives at hearing this, but she keeps her mask in place.
“I had no idea you have a child.”
“He’s three-years-old.” I don’t know why I impart this information, only that I feel the need to tell her something.
“He’s a little sweetheart.” She gets down onto her haunches, so that she’s eye level with Coop. “What are you up to today?”
My kid, who has never been shy a day in his life, is all too keen to impart our day.
“We’re going to the park.”
“That’ll be fun.”
“Daddy’s the mostest fun at the park.”
“Thanks for that endorsement, kiddo,” I tell him, ruffling his hair.
Nia smiles. “He’s adorable.”
“Don’t be fooled. He can be a monster. He hasn’t quite left the terrible twos behind.”
“I don’t believe you. He looks so sweet.”
He does look like a little cherub with blond, shaggy hair and bright blue eyes. In full meltdown mode, though, he turns demonic.
“Have you sold much?”
“Not yet, but it’s only early.” She leans in toward me. “I’m starting to think my ex-husband may have been right when he told me this was a crazy idea.”
“I think your ex-husband is an idiot. It’s only the first day, Nia. Give it time.”
She sighs. “You’re right. I don’t know what I was expecting—a crazy rush of customers. That’s never going to happen on the first day. It’s just…”
Nia breaks off and sighs again.
“You worked hard? I get it. It was the same with the garage. It took us a little while to build up a steady clientele, but they did come eventually. I have no doubt that’s what will happen here.”
“Thanks for the reassurance. I needed to hear that today.”
“Nee, where do you keep the—” A woman who looks nearly identical to Nia steps out of the store and immediately stops talking the moment she locks eyes on me.