“I don’t intend to,” I said gently. “Neither of us have Dragon blood, so we do that dance blindly, trying to figure out where the other one stands. Whatever does or doesn’t happen between him and me, at least, you remain stuck with me as your Soulcatcher.”
“Such is my curse,” he replied with false despair, love, and a bit of guilt pouring through our connection. “His aura screams it loud and clear. I cannot believe I never noticed. That male loves you. If you are attracted to him, then seize the moment, sister. I would see you happy.”
“I will. Thank you, big brother.”
With one final psychic caress, Wrath severed our connection. It felt like cheating to have had Wrath confirm what I’d been increasingly suspecting. It was especially bad since I deeply believed that Varnog had respected my privacy by not spying on my thoughts. And yet, it was excitement and an intense sense of trepidation that had me tingling all over, not guilt.
Stepping into the lift that had returned, I checked the time. It was still early enough for me to take care of my duties outfitting the ship for our mission before I sought the male who had become my obsession. It was time to lay down the cards.
Chapter 8
Varnog
Far too restless to sit, I stood by the window in Rogue’s medical clinic in the Dragon City—the residential development near the Vanguard HQ that had been given to the Dragons after they moved to Khepri. Rogue and Reaper shared the same mother, Meredith, who had been Chaos’s very first human Soulcatcher. While Bane loved all of his hundreds of brothers, these two were among his closest, right after Dread with whom he shared a mother.
Reaper had become the local Dragon heartthrob for the heroic way in which he had protected the psychic females on the first day they’d met. But his brother Rogue had become the hero of the Vanguard by solving their infertility issues.
However, despite their blood bond, the two brothers couldn’t have been more physically different. Both tall and broad shouldered, Rogue was actually one of the largest and most imposing Dragons. He wasn’t lumbering about, even with his piles of muscles, moving around with the same grace and fluidity of movement as the others. And his voice was the epitome of deep, rumbling, and manly.
The Chief Medical Officer of the Dragons was standing by the long counter running the length of the back wall, studying the result of the tests he had performed on me. Even now, looking at him, I was in awe of his impressive stature. And then he turned around to face me, and it all went out the window.
Even after all these years, my brain struggled to reconcile the fact that Rogue’s handsome and ridiculously adorable baby face was matched to that hulking barbarian’s body. It was the bane of his existence. In a way, I felt sorry for him. Far too many times, I had overheard females saying as drawn as they were to his godly body and despite knowing he was an adult, every time they looked at his face, they just wanted to pinch his cheeks and coo at him. How infuriating that must be.
“Well, I have good news and some not so great news,” Rogue said in a gentle voice.
He gestured for me to take a seat in one of the guest chairs of the large examination room, but I shook my head. The young doctor gave me an understanding smile and, moving away from the counter, he circled around his large desk to come stand closer to me.
“The good news is that nothing in my tests indicate that a coupling between you and a human female would have any adverse effects,” Rogue said cautiously. “However, you do have a certain number of mutating proteins also found in us, Dragons and Xians, which cause our women to undergo some adaptations making them compatible to bear our offspring, enhancing their immune system, and increasing their lifespan.”
“But?” I asked when he stopped.
Rogue heaved a sigh and pursed his lips, choosing his words carefully. That only made my anxiety crank up another notch.
“But yours are far more complex than ours,” he said with a slight frown. “This indicates to me that the extent of the transformation will be far greater, and a great deal of it external.”
“Meaning I will change her appearance?” I asked, my voice thick with tension.
“Yes.”
I clenched my teeth and inhaled deeply, trying to keep my inner turmoil in check. “You know what kind of changes and what extent?”
Rogue shook his head, an apologetic expression on his innocent features.
“Is there any way to find out?” I asked.
“I could try to run a number of simulations, but they would be speculations at best,” Rogue answered cautiously. “When it comes to genetics and evolution, a multitude of factors could take the entire process in a completely different direction. Anything I would tell you would be a wild guess. We would need to do actual testing on live subjects.”
“So, I either pursue the woman I love and risk turning her into an abomination, or I leave her be and never know what might have been,” I said bitterly.
“No, Varnog,” Rogue said forcefully, approaching me further and placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. “It does not have to be this black and white. You can still pursue your woman, and even be intimate with her. However, unlike us, you do not have fangs through which you inject her with your bonding fluids. So, the one way you will initiate the change in her is through your semen. Wear a condom, and there will be no problem.”
“You’re saying that I can be with her in every way, but that I just can never share my seed with her,” I repeated to make sure I had clearly understood.
“Correct,” Rogue said gently, before his baby face took on an embarrassed expression that would have been beyond adorable had I not been so distraught. “But that means you cannot share it with her in any way, including orally,” he added in front of my confused expression.
My face heated, which caused his own to become a little flushed. How awkward to have two virgins discussing such matters.
I cleared my throat. “What about kissing? Wouldn’t my saliva also be problematic?”
Rogue shook his head, clearly as relieved as I felt to move on to a different topic. “The amount of proteins there is insignificant and should not pose any problem whatsoever.”
I gave him a stiff nod and then turned towards the window. With a will of their own, my feet led me to it, and I gazed outside at the children playing in the little park in the center of the residential area. My chest tightened at the realization of all the things we could never have, assuming she accepted the risk of being with me, even in a limited fashion.
“The first day we joined the Dragons in that rough base you initially lived in and saw all your young brothers—so many of them not yet even able to properly fly—I started dreaming about having many children,” I said wistfully. “And now…”
“Do not lose hope, my friend,” Rogue said in a gentle but firm voice. “You are both young. We will do further research. Liena is one of the most brilliant geneticists of our era, just like her grandfather—the creator of the Xian Warriors—had been. She will be more than happy to work on figuring this out. Especially now that her twins are finally born, and she’s been granted access to the lab again. We will find a way. Until then, enjoy your free time just the two of you. Looking at Dread and Bane with their young sons, they don’t have as much time to be romantic with their women anymore. By the time you’re ready to start a family, I have faith we will have found a solution.”