“I’m lucky. Thank you. So, like, do I get to look around?”
“Heck yeah!” He echoed her words, and Alex laughed, throwing back her head.
Jayden couldn’t help but feel a glow of happiness spreading through him.
He eased her down gently. Once her feet touched the smooth, shiny deck, Alex glanced up at Jayden to see him gazing down at her. His stare was so intense she started responding. Her body was trembling, and her heart was fluttering.
She knew her cheeks were red because she felt the heat rushing to her face. She bit her lip and quickly unwrapped her arms from his neck. When she was about to walk away, he caught her wrist and pulled her to him. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”
“All right,” she managed to say, her throat dry.
He led her into the saloon. Alex gazed in awe at the interior surroundings. The dining and living areas were exceptionally beautiful with the leather sofa and a chandelier smack in the middle. The galley was exceedingly flashy, made out of oak wood and modern kitchenware.
Jayden smiled at her look of wonder. “Come on,” he said, leading her to the upper deck.
Alex was excited when she saw they were in the captain’s quarters. A moment later, she heard the engine running. She glanced at Jayden and saw he was guiding the yacht out of the harbor. She grinned and came to stand beside him, studying as the boat slowly steered its way to the sea.
With the wind in her hair and a smile on her face, Alex couldn’t help but feel like she was in heaven as Jayden cruised the boat about New York Harbor, showing her places she could see from afar. He even let her steer the boat. She felt like she was in a romantic movie as he stood behind her, his face beside hers, and his hands on top of hers as she was steering the boat.
“Can you see that?” he asked, pointing north.
Alex narrowed her eyes. “Oh my gosh! It’s the Statue of Liberty!”
“Yes.” He chuckled. “You know all about it, huh?”
“Can we go there?” she asked, looking up at him.
“We can’t. We need permission.”
“Oh. Right. But it’s still nice to see it from here.”
Jayden switched off the engine. “Come on,” he said, taking her hand and leading her outside onto the deck. He made her stand by the rail, his body behind her and his face close to hers. He could smell her perfume, a sweet scent. He loved it.
“Can you see New York City from where we are?” he whispered into her ear.
Alex nodded, biting her lips, enjoying the view and enjoying his warm breath against her skin. They stood there gazing out into the distance, enjoying the peaceful moment.
“I had fun. Thank you,” she commented some moments later.
Jayden looked at her. “You’re welcome,” he said, staring deeply into her eyes.
Alex didn’t know what came over her as she tilted her face to his, offering her soft lips for him. Suddenly, he kissed her—deeply and passionately. His tongue plunged into her mouth, igniting the fire within her. She groaned and wrapped her arms around his neck, responding to his demanding urge.
Alex felt as though her whole body were on fire. She was all warm and cozy. She felt alive. She tightened her arms around his neck and dug her fingers into his thick, blond hair. She groaned again and wondered if she was in heaven.
Jayden suddenly stopped the kiss and pulled back. He stared into her eyes. He saw the passionate desire there and something else, something deep and personal. Shit! He realized what it was. She was in love with him.
His heart did a somersault. Jayden, you seriously screwed this one up now. This couldn’t be right. Alexandra could not fall in love with him, not when he was supposed to be gay. And the most ironic thing was he knew he was falling in love with her, too. But how the heck was he going to resolve this complicated web? Would she still love him if she knew he wasn’t gay? That he was just like any other man?
He frowned, taking a step back, shocked at that realization.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, searching his face. “Oh. I see.”
Jayden raked his fingers through his hair. “Alex, I have to tell you something.”
“No, you don’t. I understand,” she blurted out. She knew he was regretting he had kissed her. In her heart, she knew he still loved Sarah, and now he felt disgusted and guilty that he had kissed another woman.
Alex felt the hurt building up in her chest. No, she could never make Jayden love her because his heart had already belonged to another woman, a woman who cheated and betrayed him. How could a man love that kind of woman?
“No, you don’t. Look, Alex.” He cupped her face in his hands; his heart felt tight with dread. Gosh, how he wanted to tell her he loved her, but he didn’t want to get hurt. He didn’t want to get rejected. He knew she would hate him the moment she found out he was not gay and he was lying to her. But he knew it was either now or never.
“Alex…” He began. “I have to tell you something.”
“No, Jayden. You don’t have to. I understand,” she said, shaking her head, a dark expression in her eyes.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I’m not gay. I’m straight. Just like Sam and Dad and Peter, like any other man you know. And I—” He couldn’t go on. The little voice in his head kept screaming, Tell her, you idiot! Tell her you love her.
“Why did you lie to me?” she asked. “Why did you have to tell me you’re gay when you’re not?”
“I couldn’t help it. It just all happened at once and—”
“There’re many other women around, ones that are better looking than me. Ones who—I don’t know—ones who belong in your world. I, Jayden, I don’t know your world. Why me?”
“I’m sorry, it just happened.”
“Don’t be sorry, Jayden. I don’t understand why you’ve chosen me, though I do understand why you did it. I know you still love her. I know you don’t want your family to fix you up. I know you need space. That’s why you hired me.”
“Alex, sweetheart, it’s not like that.” His face inches from hers, Alex could feel his warm breath on her skin.
“I don’t like people lying to me, Jayden, and I’m really upset about it. I totally understand why you did it, though. But since you’ve paid me, and I’ve used up the money, it’s my obligation that I must complete my part of the deal.”
Jayden wanted to growl in frustration. She was calling their relationship a deal now? And that it was her obligation to complete it? This was ridiculous.
“Alex, listen to me, sweetheart.”
“Jayden, you don’t have to call me ‘sweetheart’ anymore. We’re alone. I’m getting cold. Can we go now?” she said abruptly and moved his hands away from her. She turned and strolled back into the captain’s area, away from the sudden onset of cold wind.
Jayden felt defeated. He also felt like half of him was dying, very slowly and painfully. My God, how he wanted to explain everything to her even though none of it actually made any sense to him.
Yes, she hated his guts, all right. And yes, she hated him even more now because he wasn’t gay. Shit!
He spun on his heel, returned to the wheel, and started the engine.
Their drive back was a solemn and quiet one. Even though they were within arm's reach of each other, their emotional connection felt like it was miles away, perhaps even as far as the distance between New Zealand and the States. The atmosphere was tense and thick.