And maybe she paid less attention to Erich when he was home.
In fact, Erich spent even more time away from home, renting an apartment in Zurich. In their small charming townhouse, Lisa missed him as she changed diapers and mashed bananas and read stories, trying to keep her little ones entertained during the dreary winter and relentless summer heat.
And then: “Why not come home for the summer?” her mother asked.
The new, clear-sighted Lisa thought it through. In the summer, it would be as easy for Erich to fly to Nantucket as to Washington. Her mother would help with the babies, and best of all, they would be on the island, near the ocean, surrounded by her friends.
She packed up plenty of baby clothes and child paraphernalia and went.
* * *
—
She’d not forgotten the magic of Nantucket; she’d only banished it away to a corner of her heart. At Children’s Beach, Theo shrieked with laughter as Lisa held him in the shallow waves. Juliet constructed sand castles and played on the jungle gym. They both were blissed out by the sight of the huge ferries coming and going, and they waved and jumped up and down, thrilled by the ship’s horn. On rainy days, Lisa took them to the Whaling Museum and the library. And when her children were irritable from teething or a bad night from wetting the bed, her mother took them to the beach and Lisa took a nap. When Juliet and Theo were in bed for the night, her parents babysat while Lisa went to a movie or out to dinner with her friends.
Lisa talked with Erich at least twice a week, but of course he was busy with important business matters, so their calls were brief.
It was no surprise that they grew apart.
And, Lisa thought sadly, it was no surprise when the Hawleys more or less disappeared from her life, and her children’s lives. The Hawleys and Erich were seldom even in the country, let alone on the minuscule island of Nantucket. To Lisa, Nantucket was the whole world, a perfect one for her children to grow up in, with its small town, friendly neighbors, golden beaches, and silver waves. She was glad she’d been able to travel to Amsterdam and Paris and Madrid, to taste foreign food and gaze upon foreign masterpieces, but with her two children in her life, she was more than content with delivery pizza and children’s picture books.
In her heart, she realized she loved her children more than she loved her husband. Rachel and her other Nantucket friends told her this wasn’t unusual, not in the early years. It took patience and perseverance for a couple to stay together at any stage. Lisa would love Erich again, Rachel promised.
* * *
—
The August Theo turned two, Erich flew into Nantucket for the grand birthday party Lisa had planned. Lisa invited several friends with children, and it was wonderful to have her husband with her for this occasion. She and her parents had set up a wading pool and all sorts of balls for the little ones and games for the four-year-olds. Erich helped carry the drinks and the ice out to the picnic table, and when the moment came, he brought out the enormous cake Lisa had made and sang “Happy Birthday” to his son along with all the friends. It was a rapturous moment for Lisa because it was simple normal life, a family celebration with her husband there.
That night, after the children were finally asleep, she and Erich made love, very quietly, because they were in her parents’ home. Afterward, Lisa cried.
Erich cradled her against him. “Are you sad?”
“I am. I miss you so much. The children miss you so much.”
“Are you lonely for our friends in Washington? For our home there? Is it hard living here with your parents? You know, we could fly home tomorrow. Well, not exactly tomorrow, but earlier than we’d planned.”
Lisa lay silent, thinking.
“Although I couldn’t help you pack and all that. I’ve got to be in Zurich on Wednesday.”
With her head nestled against his chest, hiding her face, Lisa asked, “Erich, why did you marry me?”
She felt his chuckle deep in his chest. “What a silly question. Because I love you.”
“But we’re hardly ever together,” she reminded him.
Erich pulled away from her, lying on his back, staring at the ceiling. “This again. Lisa, you knew it would be like this. I never deluded you.”
She’d angered him with her clinginess. “I’m sorry,” she said, pressing against his side. “I just miss you so much.”
“I need to sleep.” Erich closed his eyes, and quickly dropped off.
Lisa lay awake for a long time, scolding herself privately for being so needy.
* * *
—
The next day was better. Erich talked with Lisa’s parents, played with his children, then swept Lisa off to dinner while the grandparents babysat.
He took her to Le Languedoc, where they hadn’t been since Erich so romantically proposed to Lisa. They ordered lobster and a dry white wine, and Lisa listened to Erich discuss the financial state of South Africa. Well, she tried to listen to him. She couldn’t interrupt his monologue about world affairs with her own bits and pieces of local news—the Hy-Line was adding fast ferries, the new library was opening this fall, Rachel was pregnant again. But when the waiter came to remove their plates, she gathered her courage to present him with the idea she’d been thinking of for days.
“Erich,” Lisa said, “do you think we have enough money to buy a house here, on the island?”
Erich paused and frowned, gathering his thoughts. As Lisa looked at him, she saw how he had aged—and he was only thirty-three. He’d gained weight and he had bags under his eyes and his skin was the pasty white of someone who never got out in the sun.
Well, she thought, she must look much older to him. She hadn’t lost the baby fat from Theo—ha! she hadn’t lost the baby fat from Juliet. She couldn’t remember when she’d last had a decent haircut and styling. She knew she had some serious renovations to do on herself before she returned to Washington.
“You want to buy a house here, on the island?” Erich asked. “Heated, with insulation?”
“Well, I hadn’t thought about that, but if we could afford it, yes. Then we could come here for Christmas!” She liked the gleam in Erich’s eye, as if he could envision more time on Nantucket for them all.
Erich leaned back in his chair and smiled. “What if we simply bought a house here to be our permanent residence. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
Lisa blinked. She would like that, so why did this suggestion make her so nervous? “I think so.” She talked it out. “The children could have a real yard to play in, and their grandparents—I know your parents love the children, but they travel as much if not more than you do. So Mom and Dad could help out, be there in an emergency. I’d have my friends around, nearby. Yes, for me and the children, it would be wonderful. But what about you? It’s almost as easy to fly here as it is to Washington, right?”