I shrugged. Not fucking remotely.
Joaquin clapped his hand on my shoulder. “If there was something more to do for Miss Hughes, one of them smart neuro-psychs would have put it together by now.”
“Are they still looking?” I asked. “What about that new doctor? Christina Chen?”
He shrugged. “I don’t get involved in resident care and neither should you. If Delia Hughes finds out you’re messing around with her sister, she’ll have you canned.”
Because Thea should have paint instead of goddamn Magic Markers? Or some music? A better quality of life?
After the others left, I turned to Rita. “Why would it bother Delia to know we give a shit about her sister?”
“Delia has her reasons,” she said gently. “She’s protective. Afraid of upsetting her, afraid of any publicity. And she’s also watching the money.”
“What money?”
“Their parents had a life insurance policy that left them a million dollars each. Blue Ridge’s funding isn’t consistent. Some years, we have cutbacks. Most years. Delia wants to save every penny if Thea needs care somewhere else. She’s cautious.”
She’s got a million bucks in the bank and won’t buy her sister some fucking paint?
“It doesn’t make any sense.”
Rita checked her own watch and stood to go. “It’s sweet you want to make things better for Miss Hughes,” she said. “But if you bought her a canvas and paint, she’d forget all about it the second they were out of sight.”
But she’d have it in the moment. Doesn’t that count?
“Rita.”
She stopped at the door and looked back at me.
“I think she knows,” I said.
“I don’t know, honey, but she isn’t hurting.”
“But—”
“It’s like Anna said. If she has no conscious awareness about her situation, she isn’t suffering.”
“What if the awareness is deeper than consciousness?”
“There is no awareness without consciousness.” She smiled gently. “That’s why they call it unconscious.”
I rubbed my hands over my face. “What about music? Thea loves dance and techno.
“She listens to a classical station sometimes. Delia’s orders. She’d read Mozart stimulated the brain.”
I stared. “That’s it? That’s Thea’s entertainment?”
“Well, no. She has a TV. Her favorite show was The Office. She watches that, though I don’t know that she can keep up with the plot. Like being here, it’s just routine.” She smiled gently at me. “And when I shut off the radio or TV, she doesn’t remember they were ever on.”
Her expression was full of pity as she left. Joaquin had looked amused. Anna wanted me to mind my own business and stop trying to diagnose a complex neurological situation I had no training or education for. They’d all given up on Thea.
Rita popped her head back into the room. “Before I forget, Jim, can you take Miss Hughes for her walk today at one o’clock? I know it’s your break time but—”
“Yeah, I can do it,” I said.
Because I wasn’t going to give up on her.
Chapter 9
Jim
The day dragged until one o’clock. I grabbed my phone and a set of earbuds from my locker and shoved them in my pocket. I approached Thea at her table in the dining room, a half-finished plate of cheese, crackers, and sliced green apples in front of her. I let her see me first.
“How long has it been?” she asked.
“Two years.”
She nodded. “I just came back. You’re the first person I’ve seen.” She looked at my nametag. “Hi, Jim. I’m Thea.”
“Would you like to go for a walk and get some fresh air?” I asked.
Her smile was painfully stunning. “I’d love to.”
We stepped out the back door and into the stifling heat of the summer day. Instead of wilting in the humidity, Thea came alive. Despite her bland clothing, she was vibrant and beautiful. I suspected that Thea Hughes, pre-accident, wouldn’t have been caught dead in khaki pants and loafers.
“It’s so nice out, Jim,” she said. “Is Jim short for James?”
“You can call me Jimmy,” I said because I was sick of our usual script.
She nudged my arm with a laugh. “I was about to ask, mind-reader. You are a Jimmy. You have kind eyes.”
At least that line I could listen to a hundred more times.
“It’s so quiet,” Thea said.
I gripped the phone and cords in my pocket, wondering if introducing music was a good idea. What if it set her off? But Thea’s five-minute world was always quiet, and I was tired of second-guessing myself. So fucking tired of not doing something.
“I was thinking the same thing,” I said slowly. “Do you like music?”
Music is life.
“Do I? Music is life. What’s your fave?”
I wasn’t going to let her turn the conversation on me. “This and that,” I said. “What do you like?”
“I’m a dance and techno gal.” She frowned. “But funny… I can’t think of anyone I listen to.”
“Hold on,” I said, pulling out my phone and earbuds. I quickly scrolled iTunes for popular dance songs. “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga popped up first.
“Try this.” I gave her the earbuds and hit play, bracing myself.
Instantly, Thea’s face broke into pure joy and she began to bob her head, eyes closed, listening to her favorite music for maybe the first time in two years. “Oh my God, this is amazing,” she cried. “Here. Share.”
She took one bud out and gave it to me. We stood in the heat of the afternoon, face-to-face. She was lost in the music and I was lost in her. I’d never seen anything so beautiful in my life. She swayed like a willow tree, slender and delicate, while I was the oak rooted in front of her. Between her and the world, protecting her as best as I could.
The song ended and Thea took out her earbud. “I want your love… Love, love, love…”
I stared. That’s the song, you idiot. Not her.
Thea laughed and gave me a playful shove. “I love it, but I can tell it’s sooo not you. You are not a dance house, club kid kind of guy, am I right?”
“Not really.”
She tapped her fingers on the muscles of my forearm. “I can’t picture you on the dance floor. You’d be the bouncer at a club, making sure everyone behaved themselves. A Marc Antony. Have you heard of Marc Antony?”
“Sounds familiar.”
“Marc Antony was a general who fought with Julius Caesar during the civil war. After Caesar died, Antony was put in charge of Egypt, where Cleopatra was queen. They had an affair that nearly started another war. He was Cleopatra’s love. Strong. Noble. A soldier, but he fought only because he had to.” She raised her eyes to mine. “You look like you’d fight, but only if you had to.”
“Only if I had to.”
I’d fight for you.
Our eyes held another moment, then Thea drew a deep breath. “Oh my God, Jimmy,” she said, her arms out wide. “I feel so awake.”