His fingers lift and just faintly, his fingertips skim along my hip.
“What’d you do to get here, Izzy?” There’s so much concern in his rasping whisper, the sound of it making me shiver with the feel of his touch gliding back and forth along my skin just above my underwear.
I’ve never lain with a man like Malek in my entire life. I lost my virginity to a human last year before I graduated high school.
Adam did not look like Malek one little bit. He was a boy in comparison.
And speaking of Adam.
“I hurt someone. I hurt him bad.” A tremble of a different kind consumes me as images of Adam’s severed head flicker through my mind.
“Shit.” His palm splays wide across my stomach and I force a steady breath through my lungs.
“I don’t remember it. I grew up in the human society in the city, and I always knew there was a beast inside of me, but I have no idea what it is.” My gaze holds his and he just lets me fall apart in his arms for a little while in the darkness away from everyone else. “That’s the worst part. Not knowing. Not knowing if I’ll hurt my enemies, or the people who get too close, or even myself. That’s why I need Phoenix. I just need him to keep everyone away.”
Even you.
Malek’s sweet. He’s kind and caring. And it’s dangerous for me to get too close.
And yet, here I am, snuggled up against his smooth, hard chest and pouring my heart out more and more with each ticking second that slips by.
“I know what you mean.” His head settles on my pillow, his gaze trailing along my features while his big hand sweeps back and forth across my ribs, inching beneath my haphazardly buttoned shirt, but never veering too high. “I don’t know what you are, Izzy. It’s hard for me to want to help you because I could hurt you too. I don’t think you’re weak, but I know I’m reckless. The full moon is in five days. Stay far, far away from me then, okay?”
I nod slowly but my gaze catches on the fullness of his lips.
He has nice lips.
“You should get some sleep,” he whispers, and the moment his body shifts to leave, my hand settles over his.
“I’ve slept for twenty-four hours.” At the sound of my words, he lingers there in my bed. He hesitates for so long I can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking.
“Slip your clothes on.” His feet never make a sound as he sneaks to our closet and starts tossing a uniform at me. “I want to meet your beast. In a controlled setting.”
The small smile on his lips dissolves with my next serious question.
“One where you won't lose your arms, head, or cock?”
His lips part and suddenly, the big bad wolf doesn’t seem so sure of himself.
Eleven
Malek
The woods surrounding the academy provide enough cover for the two of us. The skeletal black trees press together in maze-like rows here. We’re far enough into their density that we can’t be seen.
I prowled these woods all night last night, alone with the madness inside. Bringing her here seems intimate in a way I shouldn’t even allow. I should stay far away from Izara, but the wolf in me wants to claim her. The primitive beast has no qualms about hurting, claiming. I try not to give into it. I don’t want to give into it. My Prod and my mind war against each other and neither come to a fucking solution. So I stay away enough to not harm her. But get close enough to torture myself with my own desires.
Like right now.
Every tree is bare of leaves. Moonlight shines in silver beams through arms and branches, slicing shadows across her features and sinuous movements.
She’s seductive, and she doesn't even know it. Some of her beauty is hidden behind pinched brows like she’s always carefully picking apart actions, playing the safe side.
And now I know why.
She looks at me with hope in her dark eyes. It’s those hopelessly romantic brown eyes that change depending on the lighting. They could be black or brown or as golden as honey in the sunlight.
Right now, they’re as dark as night, and I try not to lose myself in the depths of them. In the depths of her.
I’ve been controlling the beast inside me for five years, since I turned fifteen. I’m familiar with the force of will it takes to push down rage and violence. But my heart has no fucking idea it shouldn’t fall completely.
My heart, it’s weak. I grew up in a small pack on the quiet countryside in upper New York and not one girl has ever stolen, owned, or broken my heart.
Which is all more the reason to keep that distance between myself and the reckless girl I’m walking side by side with.
“So now what?” She kicks at a stray rock, her gaze flicking over our surroundings. If she’s afraid of the darkness, she doesn’t show it, but her lips purse tightly.
My arms cross against the span of my chest, an assertive unconscious gesture of dominance that my brothers always hated. She takes in my stance with dilated pupils, her tongue slashing across her lower lip.
Fuck, that’s not the reaction I want. Or is it? Isn’t that why I brought her out here in the first place? Because I want her to want me?
Yes. But I also want to be her friend. And she looks like she could use a fucking friend. A girl like her shouldn’t have to rely on an asshole incubus to protect her.
“Now we bring out your Prod.”
A Prod that could tear my head and my cock off if it appears…
My palm shifts protectively over my dick and then, as an afterthought, I wonder why I’m not more concerned about my skull and brains rather than my manhood.
My priorities might be off just slightly.
Her eyebrows raise and a mocking expression presses her beautiful features. “It’s not like I haven’t been trying to reach my Prod or anything,” she finally says.
I push away the sarcasm as I prowl towards her, my boots stomping into the dead earth until we are face to face.
“Picture it,” I demand, pressing a finger to the center of her chest, feeling the sudden frantic beating of her heart between her breasts.
Shit.
Don’t think about her nipples. Don’t you fucking dare.
Too late.
“Don’t think of your Prod as a separate entity inside you. As we all know that’s not what a Prod is. Think of it as it should be: the darker part of yourself. Your fears and your desires. Every savage thing you’ve ever wanted. Embrace that, and you’ll feel that part of you come to life.”
She licks her lips slowly and the sight of it makes my cock go hard as I picture her mouth around me, sliding up and down…
“Is that how you learned to keep your wolf in line?” Her voice is a raspy, heady sound with—dare I think it?—desire.
I pull my hand away from her and force myself to take a step back. Distance, I remind myself. Otherwise it’ll get too dangerous for the both of us.
“I’m still learning,” I confess. “However shitty this place is, there are some teachers willing to help. There’s good advice here buried beneath all the bad.”
She cocks her head to the side as she contemplates what I’ve said and then her lip catches between her bottom teeth.
“I—” she breaks off, swallows. “I don’t know what my deepest desires are.”