Ryder nods, turning his attention back to the TV. “Well, I’ll let you get to it. See you around.”
I nod and turn to make my way down the hall to Case’s office. When I reach the open door, I knock and poke my head in. “This a bad time?”
Case looks up and shakes his head. He’s dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, and by the looks of it, he hasn’t shaved in a few days. Normally, he’s so well put together, it makes me wonder what’s going on. “Wasn’t expecting to see you so soon. Come on in.”
I take a seat at the leather chair in front of his desk, crossing my ankle over my knee. The knot in my stomach has somehow grown larger.
Fuck. Why is this so hard?
“So, what’s up?” Case asks after finishing typing whatever he was working on.
“You know I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. That I’ve enjoyed this job, and value you as a friend, right?”
Case’s eyebrows draw together and he nods slowly. “What’s going on? Just spit it out, Nic.”
“I wanted to let you know that I’m officially resigning. I’m in love with Elle, and leaving this job is the best chance I have to be with her.”
He stares at me for a few moments before responding. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. Always knew you’d settle down and get out of this business one day. Have you told her yet?”
I shake my head, rubbing the back of my neck. “I wanted to make this official first.”
Case leans back in his chair, weighing my words. “How do you think she’ll take it?”
“No idea. But being with her is the most alive I’ve felt in years. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t do everything in my power to try.”
At this, he smiles and folds his hands, resting them behind his head. “Well, what are you still doing here? Go get your girl.”
“You sure you’re not pissed?” The last thing I want to do is burn a bridge. Yeah, he was my boss, but I also consider him a friend.
“I’m not pissed. Does it suck to lose you? Fuck yes.” His lips curl up into a smirk. “You made me a lot of money.”
I chuckle and shake my head. How I’m going to make money going forward isn’t something I want to think about right now. One thing at a time. The first thing on my list of priorities is talking to Elle so I can finally tell her the truth.
I leave Case’s house feeling ten feet tall. He took my news way better than I thought, and having his support concerning Elle means more than I thought it would.
I drive straight to a flower shop, pick out the most beautiful bouquet I can find, and head to Elle’s place. We haven’t talked since that incredible night a few days ago, so I’m not sure what she’s up to, but I feel too amazing to go another minute without seeing her.
When I get to Elle’s door, I knock and take a step back as nervous energy buzzes through my veins. It’s crazy all the things she makes me feel. The old Nic never got nervous or excited to see a woman.
I stand there for a few minutes, flowers in hand, but she doesn’t answer. I pull out my phone and try calling. No answer.
I shoot her a text asking where she is, but when she doesn’t respond after several minutes, I decide to get back in my car and head home. If she was home, she’d answer. She’s probably just out running errands or something. I’ll wait until she responds, and then I’ll go to wherever she is.
At home, I try to distract myself. I flip through some TV channels, but nothing holds my attention. I try making some food, but by the time it’s done, I’m not hungry and don’t want to eat it. No matter what I try, I keep obsessively checking my phone. That knot in my stomach from earlier? Yeah, it’s back with a fucking vengeance.
Something doesn’t feel right.
I don’t understand why she’s ignoring me. We’ve had our issues in the past—mainly me acting like an asshole—but I thought we’d made up and had an amazing night.
I spend the rest of the day racking my brain for what might be bothering her. Did I say something that upset her? Was the sex not as good for her as I thought? Is she mad I didn’t text her sooner?
But none of that sounds like the Elle I know. If she had a problem with me, she would say something. I think the fact that she showed up on my doorstep when I wouldn’t text her back proves that.
Unless something happened that would keep her from doing that.
As I mechanically prepare another meal I don’t have the appetite to eat, I can’t keep my worries about Elle under control. It’s not like her to ignore me at all, especially not for this long. I can’t even entertain the idea that something horrible might have happened to her without feeling like I’m going to fucking lose it.
Just as I’m starting to panic, I remember I still have Christine’s number. I frantically compose a text to her.
Hey, Christine. Have you heard from Elle? Having a hard time getting a hold of her.
Pacing around my kitchen, I wait impatiently for her to reply. But when my phone chimes and I unlock the screen, the words I read make me feel like someone punched me in the stomach.
Yes, I have. I told her the truth about you.
I drop my phone on the counter. It feels like all the air has been sucked out of my lungs. I can’t believe Christine did that. I should have let her know that I was planning to tell Elle myself. Maybe then she would have understood, would have given me the chance to explain.
My phone chimes again and I scramble to check it, a small part of me still hopeful that Elle will reply.
But it’s just Christine. Rubbing salt into my wounds.
It’s over, Nic. She doesn’t want anything to do with you. With either of us.
I throw my phone across the room. I can’t take this anymore. Sinking into a chair, I bury my face in my hands, crushed under the weight of what all this means.
It should have been me who told her. I was ready to explain why I went into escort work, prove to her it was all in the past. I quit for her, left behind the most successful opportunity I’ve ever had in exchange for the chance to start a life with her. A new one. The kind of life I’ve always wanted but was never sure I could have or even deserved. With her by my side, I thought anything was possible.
Now, it’s hopeless. The dream I thought I was about to be living is gone. Over. Dead. I was stupid to think she’d ever want someone like me.
I grab a bottle of whiskey from my liquor cabinet and take a few swigs. Just as I settle into my seat on the couch, my phone rings from across the room. I sigh and go to answer it, a small part of me still hoping I’ll hear Elle’s voice on the other end.
But instead, it’s Case’s voice, which only makes me feel worse.
“Hey, I’m surprised you even answered. I was hoping you’d be too busy making sweet love to your lady right about now.”
When I don’t answer, Case clears his throat. “You all right, Nic? How’d it go?”
I sigh, then chug more whiskey. “It didn’t.”
“You’re going to have to give me more than that.”
“Christine told her before I could. Now she won’t talk to me.”
“Fuck, man, I’m sorry. What are you going to do?”
“Looks like I’m halfway through this bottle of whiskey. After that, no clue.”