“I wish that’s how long this mess had lasted.” Ivan sighed and tapped his fingers on my palm as his eyes scanned the road outside.
Okay, less war. More fun. I thought of all the comics carefully stored on the top shelves in Ivan’s closet. It was the only thing he’d asked to leave when we’d converted it into my office. “Did you know that DC Comics created a hero called Dog Welder who, surprise surprise, literally welded dogs to people’s faces?”
“The fuck?” Misha turned around to give me an astonished glare.
“Eyes on the road,” Ivan snapped. When Misha turned back around, he chuckled. “I actually have most of the Hitman comics, and he was in a few of them. Somebody had to have been on something when they came up with that one.”
“You two are too weird,” Misha said.
Ivan finally looked away from the road and smiled into my eyes, his worries gone for the moment. “Just a couple of weirdos in love.”
I was so happy I felt like I could float as I leaned against his shoulder. “Nothing wrong with that.”
I was walking down the crib aisle while the two Novak brothers trailed behind me. Most of their men were outside, guarding the exits and the vehicles. A couple tailed us, but there weren’t many other people in the shop now, in the middle of the day. There were a couple pregnant women on their own, one couple who’d smelled human when we’d passed them, and a couple of other single women wandering the aisle. One was definitely a grandma, or soon to be grandma, and the other had come in after us and didn’t look visibly pregnant.
We were alone in the bedding section. The cribs were each decorated with matching sheets, blankets, and stuffed animals. I laughed and picked one up.
“Look, Misha. You don’t have to pick between yellow and orange ducks. And you even get a blue one thrown in for free.”
The little comforter featured three ducks, their little bills somehow stretched into big smiles. Ivan reached in to grab the orange plush version and tossed it at Misha’s head. He grabbed it before it hit his face.
“On quack,” Ivan demanded, grabbing the yellow one and initiating an impromptu sword, or duck, fight.
I shook my head and moved on with a smile. “I can’t take you Novak boys anywhere.”
“You mean you have to take us everywhere.” Ivan jumped in front of me and held me like a shield, ducking down. “You can’t hit a pregnant man, Mish!”
“Cheater.” Misha reached around to whip the duck at Ivan’s head. “And worse, a coward! Using your pregnant omega to save you.”
Ivan scooped up the duck weapon, which had fallen to the floor, and dumped it in a teddy bear themed crib. I was certain the other duck had ended up in a similar mismatched state. “Let’s take the manly way out and declare a truce.”
“Manly way, sheesh. Since when is backing down from a challenge the manly way?” Misha flicked a star hanging from a mobile and sent the whole thing swaying.
“Since it keeps my mate safe.” Ivan grabbed my hand and tucked it into the crook of his arm. “Shall we continue, dearest?”
I didn’t know how to describe his accent—an attempt at some kind of posh, but whether actual British or old school New England, I wasn’t sure. And he couldn’t shake the Chicago.
“Let’s,” I said. I guided us to the clothing, which was seriously my kryptonite. Our guards moved around us, and I realized there was already someone in the clothing section, but whether it was because she was done with her browsing or she’d seen the two intimidating hulks coming at her, she was moving on.
I held up a tiny hoodie. “Can you imagine a baby this tiny?”
“It’ll be tinier.” Misha peered over my shoulder. “You shoulda seen Natasha, Vas and River’s munchkin, when she came out. Ridiculously small. Could have lost her if you put her in your pocket.”
“See? You’re not going to have a bat baby.” Ivan nudged me.
“What?” Bat baby? I was so confused right now.
“You know, bats. They have babies a third their size. That’s what you said.”
I shuddered. That’s right. I did remember telling him that now. “Don’t remind me.” I lifted the hoodie to my nose and inhaled happily. “It already smells like a baby. Did you know that new baby smell is a real thing? Just like new car smell. Except with babies, it fades after six weeks. I don’t know how long new car smell lasts. Do you know?”
Ivan shook his head. “Probably as long as you keep one of those new car air fresheners in it.”
I shoved the hoodie at him. “Doesn’t it smell like a new baby?”
“New baby smell?” Misha snorted. “I think that’s pregnancy hormone talk.”
Ivan took the hoodie from me and sniffed once, then again and deeper.
“Did you never smell your niece or nephew?” I asked. “It’s like a new book. I can’t resist just inhaling it.”
“Now you’re getting creepy.” Misha shuddered. “Who goes around sniffing books and babies?”
Who doesn’t? “I do.”
“This smells familiar…” Ivan’s voice was quieter than normal.
“Because it smells like baby, right? Tell Misha it smells like baby.”
Ivan shook his head and practically buried his face in the cloth. “I just can’t place… It smells sweet… like…” His head jerked up and he spun around. “Where did she go?”
“Who?” Misha and I both asked.
“I knew I recognized that scent! And that red hair…”
“What are you talking about?” I tugged on his arm.
“That scent—I remember it from the day Tony got shot. And the red hair—the girl playing frisbee with Pavlo.”
Misha jumped ahead of us, seeming to make more sense from Ivan’s jumbled sentences than I was. “You’re sure?”
“Yes, tell the—there she is!”
The redhead, the girl who’d entered the store after us, must have had excellent hearing, because her head whipped around at Ivan’s whispered declaration. Our eyes met, and then she started running for the exit.
“Don’t let her get away,” Ivan roared. He lifted me in his arms and turned away from the entrance. “If she really was with the gang who tried to take Pops out, we’ve got to get you as far away from where she’s been as possible.”
Another redhead popped out of an aisle ahead of us and Ivan skidded to a halt. “That’s generally a good idea,” she said. “But your family has already escaped us once. We’re not risking it again. Nice job spotting the decoy, though.”
Ivan didn’t hesitate. He kicked the bitch in the face.
She slammed against the shelves behind her, her nose spurting blood, and let out the most unearthly keening sound I had ever heard.
“Wait—don’t you want to capture her for questioning or something?” Everything was happening so fast. As scary as it was, I felt safe in Ivan’s arms.
“Not if it means I have to put you at risk.”
Ivan slammed through an emergency exit, and two of his men were already at attention. They opened the back of the waiting SUV without asking, and Ivan slid in, still holding me.