As many kids as we wanted, a dog, a home.
Stability. That’s what I want for our children, two parents who will put them above and beyond anything.
A family.
It’s a ways away, but it’s there. A future is so bright that Eden’s smile lights up her entire face as she stands there waiting for my answer.
“Let me guess? No secrets, no lies?” That saying is our foundation. The one promise I swore to keep — the one I never want to break.
And I won’t.
“You know me well. Now get in the shower so we can go home and have wild and crazy sex.”
I wrench out of the memory, my heart wanting to leap out of my chest when I open my eyes to my wife standing in the doorway, shaking her head, tears running down her face.
For once, I wanted to slay her the way she did me.
“I never knew you could be so heartless.” She flinches. I shrugged. Knew I would regret it later, blame it on the goddamn booze. At this moment, I don’t care.
“I came here because I was wrong. I shouldn’t have told you the way I did. I’m sorry.”
Rage erupts across my skin. The pain and suffering and fear I had for my wife and me twists through my stomach. I need to get the hell out of here.
Grabbing the bottle, I down it until it burns so bad I spit some of it onto the floor.
“No, you don’t get to stand there and cry. It’s my turn to say no to you. How’s it feel? You drop and bomb on me and run. Two if we want to get technical. You're getting good at that, you know. Now it’s my turn to yell and take off. Let's see how you like it. This is my house. You don’t want it, remember? You don’t want anything from the champ except for him to admit he’s in denial. Well, fuck you. I expect you to get the rest of your shit and get out.”
My laugh is bitter as I storm out of the house with her clawing and tugging on my shirt as she screams I shouldn’t be driving.
She lost her rights to tell me what to do when she signed away my right to be her husband.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mason
Death isn’t kind. At least if I’m dying, Satan seems to be taking his sweet time snatching up my soul while he burns my skin alive.
Everything hurts, even my muscles feel as if they are detaching. There is so much excruciating pain throughout my head; it’s like a toothache in my brain.
Throbbing.
“What the hell time is it?” I choke out, wincing as I angle my head in search of a clock in the darkness. There’s nothing. I can’t even see my hands in front of my face.
My scalp feels like it’s torching in flames. Like someone grabbed hold of it and beat the ever-loving shit out my skull. It’s so intense it shoots down my neck and beyond.
My breathing seems out of sorts — a little ragged as I try and open my eyes. The left one won’t budge, the right opens wide. A little too much as white spots dance across my pupils, making me dizzy. I feel lifeless.
“Shit, where the hell am I?” It’s so dark I can’t see a damn thing. Not that I’d be able to with the thick fogginess in my brain. “The hell did I do?”
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this weak, this unsure of what the hell happened to make my body feel this way.
I try to remember where I am, or at least I think I do. But as I rack my brain, it seems to be gobbled up in a haze of confusion.
“Think Mason.” My voice is like gravel, my taste buds exploding, spreading the sour taste of liquor all over my tongue.
Memories spin. I can’t quite grasp hold of them.
The last thing I recall was watching Cody get his first official TKO. Now, on top of my body feeling like it wants to hurl and convulse, I sense I’m up against a brick wall using it as a prop to hold myself from toppling over.
But the way I feel, the burning pain behind my eyes, the stench of vomit and stale piss that I inhale is nothing compared to standing feet away from my wife in our bedroom and watch our future fade away over my secrets and lies. No, that is fresh in my mind.
It pricks at my skin— tiny pinholes that drain the life out of me.
The earth shifts under my feet as I stagger, tumbling forward and a heavy dose of pain ruptures across my face.
Frantically, I blink, my vision swaying.
“Ah, fuck, Mason. I got you. We’re going to get you the help you need.” I raise my head slightly to the sound of the voice, only to drop it right back against the hard surface. I know that voice, it’s Chance, I think.
Shit.
“I destroyed my marriage. Eden left me, did I tell you that? She said she wants a divorce. I have papers to prove she does. I don’t want a divorce. I want my wife and our baby. I want to box again, but I can’t. I have nothing left.” I slur as the taste of vomit pools in my mouth. My stomach rolls, and puke expels out of me, dribbling down my chin.
“Yes, you do. You’ll see once you sober up, mate. Let’s get you out of here.” His voice is echoing in my ears.
Spinning. Everything a whirlwind and nothing making sense.
“I’m going to sleep. Where’s my wife?” My eyes droop. I need to drift away.
“Wake up damn it. There will be no boxing for you, Mason. Christ, what have you done?” That tone is angry; it’s Scott.
“Shit, he’s bleeding. Should we call an ambulance?” I’ve no idea who is speaking now; I don’t give a flying fuck. I want to sleep. I want things I’ll never have again.
I hate the goddamn hospital.
No matter if I have no idea why I need to go there, that word will forever brand my brain. The hospital is where I found out about my fate. That word shaves a little more off of my mind over what I’ve done to Eden.
It won’t be long before there’s an empty cavern the size of a crater in my heart.
Nothing left — an empty cavity surrounded by loneliness inside my chest.
Dying, one slow, and agonizing minute at a time.
The hospital. “Oh, shit. I was supposed to go there for testing. Did I go? What did they say? Can I box again?”
Fuck, I can’t remember what the results were.
My body shifts, my head lolling to the side.
“No, fuck no, take me to my wife. Do not take me to the hospital.”
I can still remember looking up at the letters in bright red color, hating the words they’d spelled out. The last time I went through those doors, I could barely remember my name, let alone walk through them on my own.
Hector and Natalie both had their arms around me while Scott held the door open, and Eden went in screaming for help. Scott had come ahead of us to make sure the coast was clear of any lurking paparazzi and to get the hospital to secure the area from anyone besides the staff.
The paparazzi? Those bastards.
My body starts shaking and convulsing. My tongue thick and heavy in my mouth.
My eyesight blurs as my mind becomes fuzzy. I see nothing now as my consciousness begins floating through a space filled with too much static. Throughout the pitch of darkness, my pulse pounds loudly, ringing in my ears, alongside fading pleas for me to wake up.
I must have passed out because when I wake to white walls surrounding me, and to much bright light along with antiseptic filling my nose, I know where I am. It should scare the piss out of me, but it doesn’t.