No, we don’t know it. If we did, I wouldn’t be having this conversation, nor riding on a guilt-trip for far too long.
Because I wouldn’t have retired, I would have kept on. I would still be the champ.
By doing so, I would have stolen more and more time away from my wife. Breaking promises left and right, and Eden, as unselfish as she is, wouldn’t have said a word.
Christ, the pile of blasphemous lies I’ve been telling her for some time now are about to come to a roaring boil.
I can sense it.
“I don’t need nor want any more endorsements, my days of being on the front of cereal boxes are over, Natalie. It’s you who wants their face in the spotlight. Admit it.” A soft chuckle rolls out of me, placing my sour mood to light for a mere second.
“Well, aren’t you just hilarious. I’ve been there, done that thank you very much. If I wanted in the spotlight again, I would be there. I care about you for many reasons, Mason. Your sense of humor isn’t one of them. Although, I’ll admit that tiny laugh I heard is more like the man I used to know than the man of late.” She clears her throat while I huff out a breath, tension coiling tighter the closer I get to my wife.
She’s right on both accounts. I haven’t been myself for a long time, and years ago, she was front and center in a scandal we won’t bring up.
“I’m crazy for considering this.” Stupid is more like it. An asshole wanting to take a risk when I know there isn’t a chance in hell, Eden will go for it.
“Here, we go again. How many times do I have to tell you, you aren’t crazy, Mason. You're devoted, strong, and observant. I believe you can do this. I have faith in you; if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have brought this opportunity to the table. Eden will be upset, but eventually, she’ll understand once you tell her why you are doing it.”
The hell she will.
Does she not know my wife? In all honesty, she doesn’t. Not like she used too after we hired Natalie Kirkpatrick, the woman who helped get me where I am today. I wish the two of them would have remained close, and at first, it put pressure on me. But when Eden assured me she trusted Natalie with my career, the weight lifted. Still, it would have been a hell of a lot easier on my end, especially on the night of matches where they said hello, and that was it. Now I’m about to draw another line in the sand.
Natalie came after me shortly after I won my first sanctioned fight. Guns drawn, and shark teeth chomping. She’s now the top dog who went from a no-name to getting what she wants just by her name alone. If she’s your agent, then everyone wins, from the client to her, and the endorser. How she does it beats the hell out of me.
We’ve come a long way together. She’s a ballbuster who speaks her mind whether you want to hear or not. She demands attention; she’s driven, focused, and she will fuck someone in the ass to get her way. She has to be hard, or she’ll be the one getting stomped on. It’s the way this business is.
She’s also helped me through some of the darkest days of my life.
“Mason, are you still there?”
“I am. You keep talking as if we’ve sealed the deal already?”
“Well, we will as soon as you convince Eden.”
I wince, grinding my teeth, clenching my fist, and chanting a prayer under my breath, asking for help to convince my wife.
If only if would be that easy as getting a prayer answered the way you wanted.
Just snap your fingers, and all would be right again.
Bile rises upward, my throat burning from the acid. The word upset slicing through me — a dull blade slashing across my heart.
My wife is going to be more than upset. She’s going to bleed hurt and heartbreak all over the place before she’ll agree to this.
It’s inevitable.
The thing is Natalie’s right. I’ve put this off long enough. The difficult thing? I have no idea how to spit the words out of my mouth. To tell Eden I need this and make her understand why.
“I’m heading back to the table now. I’ll tell Eden on the way home. You do not do a thing until you hear from me.”
“You owe me a bottle of the finest Scotch for that remark. I’ve never done anything without your permission. Even though many times I should have.”
In an instant, I become worried like a motherfucker. I’m unsure why. It’s like a voice of reason runs through me, a weird vibe. A sensation that has me looking over my shoulder.
I shake it off when no one is there.
“A bottle of scotch it is. Talk later.”
Disconnecting, I slide my phone in the front pocket of my jeans, weave my way from the restroom, and through the tables, pausing as I take in my wife with the killer smile that has turned many men’s heads over the years. Including mine every time I see her.
Still and always.
Tonight, it’s spread across her entire face — this incredibly exotic beauty glowing from her as she pays the young waiter.
My chest tightens as she throws her head back and laughs at something he said, exposing that long sleek neck of hers that drives me out of my mind — hair as pitch black as a night draping down her spine.
Gorgeous. Stunning.
All mine.
As she shifts to look my direction, a blaze of that fire only for me grows in her eyes.
I take back what I thought about not being myself. I am when I’m with Eden. The woman is like pure blissed-out joy, and I’m a fool for taking a risk in hurting her.
A coward for the pile of lies I’ve been feeding her. Too many to count.
God, I need to taste those lips and feel that tight body against mine. Draw from her strength so I can tell her what’s eating away at my mind.
Everything about my wife turns me on. From her long legs to the curve of her hips, up the delicate slope of her spine, to that face, I’ve been blessed to wake to ever since I slid my ring on her finger fifteen years ago.
Natural beauty enhanced with the little makeup she wears.
And that’s hard to come by, especially in Los Angeles, the city full of piranhas and gold-digging whores with plastic you notice from a mile away.
Fake and phony, unlike the people back in Detroit where we grew up. Funny how we all live in the same world, yet different in every way.
Worry squeezes my chest as I get to Eden, thank the young man for his excellent service, and take hold of her hand to help her out of the chair. I kiss her temple, holding my lips there longer than most probably would.
Eden and I have always been heavy on the PDA and not for the cameras. A gentle touch here, a peck on the cheek there. We do it at home too. And not once have we went to bed while mad at one another. Our marriage isn’t perfect by any means. We fight like most. The thing is we trust and love and respect one another, and I have a feeling I’ve gone and fucked that straight to hell.
“Everything okay? I haven’t seen this look on your face in a long time. You look strained. It reminds me of all the times Natalie tried to get you to agree to underwear commercials.” She frowns as she flattens her palm on my cheek, her adoring look causing my heart to race.
After my first belt, Natalie tried getting me in front of the camera to model underwear and cologne. That isn’t me.
I chuckle, lean in to whisper in her ear.
“Everything is fine. That was Cody on the phone. He’s starting to get the jitters. You know how it is. I can tell you about it on the ride home.” The bitter bite of my lie tastes like the bullshit it is.