Bel was content to simply replay the night through his head, trying to recall in perfect detail what Aiden had done to turn both Marcus and Rafe. He’d still been human at that time, but the memories were growing foggy now under the weight of emotions he tried to block out. Not the easiest of tasks when it came to watching his two beloved brothers die before his eyes.
Their absolute stillness. No breath. No beating heart.
Despite all Aiden’s reassurances, panic had stolen away his rational mind.
Even now, Bel found his eyes snapping open and locking on Rafe and Marcus. His eldest brother was saying something about finding more effective ways to block out the light in the house during the day, while Rafe sat with a slightly bemused expression on his face. But his expression changed. His eyes focused on Bel, and one eyebrow raised in question, as if he could feel the panic rising in his twin.
Bel managed a small shake of his head and a smile. He was being silly. It was all nonsense. His brothers were safe and alive.…Well, they were vampires. And soon, Winter would join them. They’d be together. Forever.
He started to close his eyes again when the voice whispered again through his brain. It felt the same as the first one he’d heard when he’d been standing on the sidewalk outside the carriage. The anxiety was back, but with it was fatigue. Desire for someplace warm and safe.
But it wasn’t the only voice. There was a second one. Slightly more distant, but it felt like it was coming from overhead. This one was hunger.
Bel’s eyes darted out the window to his left, but there was no one outside the carriage. They’d left London and were moving through the nearby countryside. Not far from Marcus’s home. Trees were crowding closer to the road, blocking out the moonlight. Beyond were hills for the rolling pasture lands and farms.
The second voice disappeared, but the first remained.
It didn’t matter. He was hearing voices.
Just like Julianna.
Just like his very mad mother.
They had all argued over it, and Bel had been the one to say that it was a slim possibility that any of them would suffer the same madness as she. The same dark insanity that drove her to attack her beloved children and the man she adored.
Oh God, he couldn’t be losing his mind like Julianna. His brothers depended on him. They’d made this decision to become vampires so that they could protect their mother and each other. He couldn’t be a burden on them. He wouldn’t do it.
Bel glanced again at Marcus and Rafe, but both of his brothers seemed relaxed and maybe a little tired after the long night. They gave no indication that they’d heard anything strange. Aiden would have certainly mentioned the possibility of unexplained voices if they were likely.
Looking away from his brothers, Bel chewed on his bottom lip and tried to concentrate on the voice he could still hear. There were no specific words. Just feelings. Basic desires. They were a little similar to what he felt from Rafe at times, but the emotional tie he had with his twin was more nuanced and far clearer than this. Definitely not coming from Rafe.
“Bel? What’s wrong?” Rafe asked, drawing Bel from his thoughts.
“Nothing,” Bel replied quickly. Probably too quickly, because Rafe didn’t look convinced in the slightest.
“I can feel your distress,” Rafe pressed.
Aiden shifted, his astute gaze moving from Bel to Rafe. “Your connection is still intact. I’d hoped for as much.” He sounded pleased, but there was worry in his eyes.
The vampire had always known about their unique gift. Of course, Rafe and Bel had been barely eleven when Aiden came into their lives, too young to worry about hiding such a thing from an adult. After sixteen years, it was just as normal as anything else in their lives, not that Bel held the delusion that anything was normal about the Variks.
“I’m fine. Everything is fine,” Bel said sharply. He drew in a ragged breath, and his shoulders slumped. He didn’t sound fine, and he wasn’t convincing anyone on the carriage. “Sorry. I-I think I’m just tired. It’s been a long night, and there are just so many questions in my head.”
A hand closed over his arm, and Bel looked down to see it was Aiden’s. “It’s okay. You’re going to be just fine. You have a very long existence ahead of you. Plenty of time to uncover the answers to all your questions.”
Some of the panic eased at Aiden’s reassuring smile and soft words. He prayed his father was right. Hearing unexplained voices was never a good thing, but they weren’t telling him to hurt his family. He felt no need to attack any of them. Only protect.
Maybe these weren’t the same voices Julianna heard.
And if they were, there was still time.
Tonight, they would change over Winter.
His three brothers—as vampires—would be able to manage Julianna, and he would end his own life if need be. He refused to be a burden on his family.
2
January 14, 2020
The wolves were back.
Bel crossed his arms tightly over his chest as he stared out the window at the fluffy snowflakes that were beginning to fall. He couldn’t see the wolves, but he could feel them out there.
These were the same damn wolves from the fight with the MacPherson clan two months earlier. The same wolves that had followed another vampire’s commands and attacked Rafe.
But these were not normal wolves, though he couldn’t quite explain what made them different other than the fact that their thoughts and feelings were more complex than normal wolves. They reminded him far too much of the emotional connection he had with his twin brother.
After the battle that saw the destruction of Nolan, the leader of the MacPherson clan, and the death of the vampire who supposedly controlled these wolves, everyone dispersed. The wolves, after more than a little coaxing, disappeared into the woods, but they’d appeared again at the edge of Bel’s property roughly a week later.
And they wouldn’t leave.
At least not for long. Sometimes, they’d disappear for a few days, but they always came back. Bel had attempted to run them off using birds or lynx, but it wasn’t easy. He didn’t want the wolves hurt. It wasn’t their fault they’d been forced to attack Rafe or even Bel. He didn’t blame the poor animals. Just the vampire who’d been their master.
But since Bel had been the one to kill their master, it seemed as if the wolves were attempting to adopt him as their new master. And well, Bel was just not having that.
Bel had learned very quickly that his unique vampire gift was the ability to communicate and understand animals, but that did not mean he wanted to keep any of them as pets. They were simply neighbors in this world. Sometimes they did things to help him, and he did what he could to assist them. He provided bits of food during harsh winters and always made sure his property contained pools of fresh water, particularly for those brutal summers. His property was full of birdhouses and places with fallen brush to provide good homes for his animal neighbors.
The wolves were confusing. They should have reveled in their new freedom. They should have gone in search of a new pack or new hunting grounds away from people.
Instead, they remained close to Bel.
Snow continued to fall. It was a late start to the snowy season this year, but the temperatures had been low enough recently that the snow was sticking to the ground and bare tree limbs, gilding the world in glistening white.