I nodded.
Shy kept talking.
“Brick and Dog both say already they wanna stay in the mountains for a while, change of scenery.”
“Right,” I prompted.
“That means Tack’s losin’ his lieutenants.”
My heart flipped.
“Right,” I said again but this time slowly.
“Deal’s done. Those two brothers are goin’ and gonna be gone at least a year, probably more. So Tack is makin’ decisions. He asked Hop to step up when they go.”
My shoulders drooped.
“He also asked me,” Shy finished.
My face split into a grin, Shy’s eyes dropped to my mouth then he rolled me so I was on my back and he was up on a forearm, looming over me but bent so our faces were close.
His other hand framed the side of my head and his thumb slid along my hairline when he muttered, “Don’t get excited, babe.”
“But that’s cool. That’s respect. That’s an honor, Shy.”
“Yeah. It is,” he agreed. “But you gotta get that, for you, that also means I might not be around as much. It isn’t like Dog and Brick are called to duty daily, but they got extra shit to do the other brothers do not.”
“Okay.” Again I said this slowly and when he didn’t speak, I asked, “What aren’t you saying, honey?”
“Not sure I wanna do it.”
I blinked.
Then I asked, “What?” I paused, but before he could speak I asked, “Why?”
He sighed, looked at my throat, then looked back at me as his hand drifted down to curl around the side of my neck. “My commitment to the Club is there. My commitment to the brothers…”
He let that hang and didn’t go on but my stomach tied in a knot.
“Really?” I asked quietly.
“Really,” he answered firmly.
The knot in my stomach twisted.
“Are you thinking of leaving the Club?” I forced out.
“Absolutely not.”
Well thank God for that.
“Okay, then, why?” I queried. “Why are you questioning your commitment to the men?”
He shook his head and looked at the pillow beside mine. “Thought I could, couldn’t.”
“Couldn’t what?”
He looked back at me. “Do not wanna drag you over old ground when shit is good, babe, but not one of them took my back when it went down and they found out about you and me. They made their calls, they patched things over, but I didn’t forget it, and I find they want more of me, I’m thinkin’ they gotta prove respect before I give it back.”
I beat back the urge to lick my lip before I asked, “Do you have issues with Dad?”
He shook his head. “Fuck no.”
At least that was firm.
Shy kept talking. “He had his reason and it was a good one. Them, parts of it I see, parts of it I don’t. Not one of them spoke up for me. That went down, I wasn’t a recruit. It wasn’t like I’d been in the Club two years, three, but near on a decade. They knew me and no one spoke for me?”
He shook his head but went on.
“Gotta say, your dad feelin’ that for me, thinkin’ I got what it takes to handle shit for the Club in his stead when he calls on me, speakin’ for him, the Club when they need me, that’s tight. I like it. That’s a tribute I didn’t expect, not at my age. I know the history with him and High. High seriously butted up against him when Tack was tryin’ to clean up the Club. Luckily, that shit got sorted but I know Tack didn’t forget, so I know why he doesn’t go there when High’s got more time in with the Club than me. I know Hound can go off on one, doesn’t have the disposition for diplomacy. Still, he could stick with Hop, have only one man he calls on and he called me up. I like that. But I’m thinkin’ I need more time with the brothers, I need it to feel solid again before I give more back.”
“Okay, then take your time,” I agreed and his head gave a slight jerk.
“Say again?”
“I feel you,” I told him. “It’s not like you’re being a dick. You’re being real. You’re right, that was uncool. Hop spoke for you when you came forward to recruit. He’s also totally nailing Lanie, still, and, by the way, Dad saw them going at it by the garage, so that cat’s gonna be out of the bag soon. So he knows the shoes you were standing in. Roscoe and Tug did their time at your side, not one of those three put words forward for you when they all should, Hop especially. If you need to feel more solid, do it. Take your time. If Dad chooses another lieutenant, High isn’t trustworthy, Hound is possibly clinically insane, Dad may soon be looking to fill those motorcycle boots and Chaos will feel it if those men don’t represent their brothers well. When it’s your time again, they’ll be ready for you, but you need to be ready to give it to them.”
He studied me a beat before asking softly, “You’re not ticked I’m turnin’ down your dad?”
“It’s your time, your life, your standing with your brothers, honey. Your decision. My job is to stand by it, not get ticked about it.”
He studied me for five beats before he whispered, “Fuck, but I love you, Tabby.”
I grinned. “Good, darlin’. That works for me since I love you too.”
Shy did not grin. His thumb moved out to stroke my jaw as his eyes burned into mine.
I lifted a hand, curled it around his wrist, let him have his moment, and enjoyed the warmth he was giving me.
Then he was done with his moment, his brows went up, and he asked, “Tack saw Hopper and Lanie?”
I smiled and answered, “Yep.”
“Brace, baby,” he muttered.
“I guessed that,” I told him.
“No, brace. Cherry knows about Hop and BeeBee. Apparently, Cherry actually saw them doin’ the deed, which is somethin’ I do not wanna picture.”
I curled my lip in disgust because it was something I didn’t want to picture either.
Shy continued, “Cherry doesn’t know Hop and Mitzi were on a break, but I don’t think she’d care. Hop had a chat with her and she and him have moved past that, but that doesn’t mean she’s gonna be big on him bangin’ her best friend, who happens to be the woman who took bullets for her dead old man.”
Well, that might explain why they were keeping things under wraps.
Shy kept going, “Until tonight, Hop has managed to keep this from Tack and Cherry, but most of the boys know, they’re talkin’, and they’re bettin’. The odds are with Cherry losin’ her mind not only with Hop, but with Lanie for makin’ what she thinks is another poor choice.”
My head tipped on the pillow. “Did you place a bet?”
“Fuck no. Lanie is beautiful but she’s a fuckin’ nut. There’s no guarantees with her in the mix, and Hop’s not sayin’ it, but he’s gone for her. I caught sight of them late one night standin’ by his bike and I can’t say I’m an expert at readin’ bitches but, body language, she’s gone for him too. Cherry or Tack get in his face, Cherry butts up against Lanie, there’s gonna be fireworks.”
“Well, we’re old hands at that,” I muttered, and Shy grinned.