She laughed softly in my ear. “You would not be saying that if you heard one of his high pitched shrieks. The kid has lungs.”
I smiled. “He clearly gets that trait from his mother.”
“How do you figure?”
“You’re the screamer, not me.”
She pressed her fingers into my ribs, making me wiggle away from her.
“Careful,” I whispered. “You’re gonna wake him.”
She sank her teeth into my ear then climbed around me until she was sitting on my lap with her legs stretched out on one side so we could both watch him.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her close as she rested her head on my shoulder.
“I was right, wasn’t I?” she asked quietly. “This changes everything.”
My heart squeezed tight, and I turned my lips against her temple. “Yeah, it does.” My eyes slid closed. “I can’t take you back with me now.”
“I know.” She held me tighter.
We sat in silence for several minutes, both of us thinking about the danger Ian could be in if anyone from my House found out about him. Here, where no one paid attention to him, he was safe. If we took him to Italy, they’d never buy the adoption story.
“I don’t know how I’m going to let you go again,” she whispered.
“I’ve been thinking about that all night. I have to go back, but, there’s a chance maybe it won’t be forever.”
“What do you mean?” She lifted her head and looked at me.
I didn’t want to get her hopes up, but I wouldn’t leave her in the dark again. “If I can find Dante, if I can talk him into it, there’s a possibility I could abdicate rule to him.”
“How?” Excitement lit her eyes. “Is that really an option? Would they let you just walk away?”
“It’s a long shot. I won’t lie to you. I don’t know if I can find Dante or even what state of mind he’s in right now. But... I told you before that bloodlines are important to them. If I can’t produce children, they’ll be more than happy to let me abdicate to Dante who can.”
“But...” Her gaze drifted to Ian asleep on his belly in his crib. “You aren’t sterile like you thought.”
“I know. I’d need to have the vasectomy repeated in secret. Before I approached Dante. I might be the Grand Duke now, but even I have to follow the rules. They won’t just take my word. They’ll want proof.”
I watched her eyes in the dim light. Tried to gauge her reaction as she realized that would mean no more kids, ever.
“Is there a chance they could find out? Hurt you?”
“I don’t think so. I mean, there’s always a chance. Forced sterilization among the nobility is forbidden. But I did it before in secret, and they never knew.”
She looked back at me. “Then do it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. It’s not even a question. We need you, here with us. Do you think the Grande Cavaliere will agree to let Dante take your spot? And what about your House, all the changes you’re making? Won’t that all fall apart if you leave?”
“Not if I can convince Dante to keep it going. And Marco’s a Knight now. He has say in House matters. Between the two of them and the others helping to make change, I know they can carry on without me. As for the Grande Cavaliere... I don’t want you to worry, but there’s already a plan in place for him.”
“That does make me worry.”
I brushed the hair back from her beautiful face. “The last eighteen months have been pure torture for me, Natalie. A thousand times worse than that beating they gave me after we were married. Every day I was away from you, I wanted to die. The only thing that kept me going was the belief that as soon as Giovanni was gone, we could be together again. I won’t last much longer without you. I need you the way I need air to breathe. I need to be here with you and Ian or I’m going to waste away into nothing. I’ll do whatever I can to make that happen. I can’t lose you again. Never ever again.”
She wrapped her arms tight around my neck and held me close, and as I buried my face in her throat, she whispered, “You won’t lose me. You’ll never lose me. I’ll wait for you, as long as it takes, okay? We’ll wait for you, Luc, I promise. You’re mine and I’m yours and we’re unbreakable.”
I captured her lips and kissed her. And when she groaned into my mouth, I picked her up, carried her around the corner to our bed, and lost myself in her all over again.
My world was chaos personified. My life had never been more of a mess. But she brought everything into perspective. She gave me strength. She gave me hope. She gave me a future.
She was my queen. My protector. My savior. And as I stripped her of my T-shirt and sank deep inside her, I vowed to finally and completely be the king that she deserved.
14
Natalie
“That’s it. What a good boy you are.”
I smiled down at Ian as he balanced precariously on his chubby feet in the middle of the living room carpet and moved back a half step.
“Come to Mommy, Ian.” I held my hands out, encouraging him. “You can do it, piccolino.”
He gurgled, smiled, and clapped his hands. Then, growing very serious, he took one tiny step and tumbled to the carpet.
I swept him up into my arms before he could cry and bounced him in my arms. “What a big boy you are! You almost did it!”
His little brow furrowed. He looked ready to start bawling, then his lips curled into a smile, and he mumbled “Ma ma ma,” as he pushed against me and tried to get me to bounce him harder.
I laughed and kissed him, turning for the kitchen where Sela was making dinner. One look at her standing with her hands on her low back, though, rocking from side to side, and I frowned.
“Sela, I told you I didn’t need any help tonight.” I set Ian in the exersaucer we kept in the kitchen so he couldn’t cause trouble and moved to her side. “You need to sit down.”
“I-I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You’re overdoing it.” I took her hand and tugged her toward a kitchen chair. She’d grown as big as a house in the last month, and I didn’t want her to pop right here on my kitchen floor.
I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and brought it back to her. “Drink.”
She frowned up at me but cracked the cap.
“Then you’re going home to relax where Haych can wait on you.”
“I don’t need—“
“No arguing.” I moved to the counter and put away the items she’d just gotten out to cook for dinner. “I feel like ramen noodles tonight anyway.”
She lowered the water bottle and all but groaned. “That does sound good.”
Laughing, I opened the cupboard and pulled out two packs. “Then it’s settled. I’m cooking.”
I filled a pot with water while Sela swiveled to look at Ian. He threw his head back and laughed at the silly faces she made at him. From across the room, she said, “Any news from Luc?”
“No, none.” And I was trying not to be anxious about that.