He returned with two more glasses on a tray that he placed down on the table, carefully avoiding the familiar board game in the middle, the rows of coloured money round the four edges, and the counters and cards in neat piles.
Monopoly.
‘Seriously, Grandad?’ I couldn’t help but look pretty underwhelmed.
He ignored my expression as he removed his apron and threw it over the arm of the sofa. ‘It was Margaret’s idea, actually. She said you thought it would be fun.’
Luke was already cracking his knuckles and calling, ‘I want to be the racing car, I want to be the racing car.’
‘We thought we’d play in teams,’ Grandad explained. ‘Four teams of two people. Luke and you can play together.’
‘I’m going to go with Paula here. You seem like an ambitious sort,’ Howard said, turning to her.
She simpered and smacked her glossy pink lips. ‘I always saw myself as a property mogul.’
Geoffrey and Arjun both looked up at the same moment.
‘I’ll play with Geoffrey here,’ Arjun said, mostly, I suspected, so neither of them needed to move. They dived straight back into their conversation. Arjun was trying to persuade Geoffrey out on his next foreign golf tour. ‘You’ll love it, the course in Portugal is fantastic, the views, the landscape, the excellent wine. And if we share a twin room we can save £40 . . . ’
I watched Grandad walk over to the armchair, holding out his hand to Margaret. ‘That leaves you and me, Margaret. I hope that’s OK with you.’
She blushed and nodded, staring into her glass. ‘I’m not the luckiest at board games but I can try.’ Then, allowing Grandad to help her up, she moved over to the table.
‘No luck involved in Monopoly,’ Howard boomed, pulling out a chair for Paula and steering her into it. ‘Killer instinct. Killer instinct and a thirst for capitalism.’
‘Christ,’ Geoffrey muttered at Arjun.
Paula looked like she was in heaven, staring at Howard with a delighted smile. ‘I do like a man who’s good with money.’ She poured herself some more gin.
We settled at the table and it took precisely ten seconds for the first row about the rules to break out. It transpired Howard was aiming to hoard one of each set of properties, Arjun would only sell anything for ‘a million dollars’, Luke seemed intent on only collecting the train stations – ‘Honestly, Lottie, it’s a good tactic’ – and Grandad spent most of his time in jail refusing to pay his way out.
‘When you land on Free Parking, you collect money from the middle.’
‘What money?’
‘The money from all the fines.’
‘The money from the fines doesn’t go into the middle. It goes into the bank.’
‘Who even pays the fines anyway?’
‘Howard, you have to, that’s the whole point.’
‘Are you stealing from the bank, Arjun?’
‘I’m getting change.’
‘Change for what? The hundred you stole?’
‘Is it four houses then a hotel or three houses then a hotel?’
‘Why won’t you sell me Park Lane? You’re just being a miser.’
‘You can’t sell Old Gloucester Road for a million dollars, Arjun, it doesn’t work like that.’
‘Will someone please land on my hotel.’
‘Will there be a spa experience?’
‘Why are you buying the utilities, Luke? No one wants the utilities. They are like the losers of Monopoly.’
‘Arjun, seriously, put that money back.’
‘Oh my God, am I going to die before this game is finished?’
‘Right,’ Grandad said, tapping his glass, hushing the raised voices around him. ‘I’m not sure this is the bonding experience we were hoping to introduce our young people to, Margaret,’ he said, turning to her. ‘What else did you bring?’
‘They’re my daughter’s games. They didn’t have a massive selection so I just brought them all.’ She motioned to a carrier bag and Paula got up to peer inside.
‘What is Hungry Hippos?’
‘Is that Scrabble?’ Geoffrey was craning his neck.
‘We’re not playing Scrabble, Geoffrey, unless you really do have a death wish.’
‘Oooooh,’ Paula said, drawing a box out of the selection. ‘Let’s play this,’ she said, holding it up to us all.
It took me a few seconds to recognise the polka dots on the front. Oh God. Twister.
‘Is it a game about tornadoes?’ Arjun asked. Nobody responded. Grandad and Margaret were engrossed in conversation and Howard was checking his teeth in the back of a teaspoon.
‘It will be fun,’ Paula said, clapping her hands together. ‘Come on, Howard, be a sport.’
He looked up. ‘Of course, of course – excellent.’
‘You’re only saying that because you were losing at Monopoly,’ Geoffrey called out.
‘What twists in the game?’ Arjun asked, still keen to hear more about this new option.
Luke was laughing into his gin, the liquid bubbling.
Somehow we found ourselves gathering around the mat, four of us sitting on sofas and chairs as Grandad, Margaret, Arjun and Geoffrey took their turn to play.
‘Are you sure you’re all right?’ I called as I span the wheel for Grandad.
‘Just about,’ he said, his voice strained, his legs straddling two polka dots in an uncomfortable-looking starfish. Howard was directing salted popcorn at his feet as Paula took photos of them on her mobile.
‘Right hand to yellow spot, Margaret,’ Luke called out, tears forming in his eyes as he stared at the group crammed on to the mat in front of him, a look thrown to me as if to ask quite how this had happened. I couldn’t help shrug and grin at him.
‘Oh my,’ Margaret said, looking positively petrified as she reached down and placed her palm on the yellow spot, bottom in the air. ‘Not very ladylike,’ she called, her voice muffled.
‘Do hurry,’ Geoffrey called. ‘I’m really not sure my left foot can stay on the blue spot if Arjun here continues to take an hour to place his hand on green.’
‘It’s harder than it looks,’ Arjun complained, staring across Geoffrey at the green.
‘Are you all right, Margaret?’
‘Thank you, Teddy.’
‘Paula, show me that one.’
‘Don’t photograph my bottom!’ Margaret cried.
‘Arjun, man, for God’s sake, we have lives to lead, hurry up.’
Luke had by now fully lost it, tears leaking out of the sides of his eyes and setting me off too.
‘I can’t possibly reach red,’ Grandad called, as Arjun launched himself over Geoffrey to connect with the green spot.
‘Got it,’ he mumbled from somewhere below them all.
Then with a collective shout the whole pack collapsed and we had four sprawling pensioners on the floor of the living room.
‘Is everyone all right?’ Grandad called from somewhere underneath the pile.
‘That’s my breast,’ Margaret squealed.
‘This looks excellent,’ Howard said, clapping his hands together. ‘When’s our turn?’ he asked from the sofa, eyes gleaming.