She looked back at me and squeezed my hand once more. “Last chance. What do you want, Natalie?”
I opened my mouth—
“She wants what we all want.” Luc grasped my upper arm and pulled me away from Felicity. “She wants to get the hell out of this fucked-up House. Stop asking questions we all know the answer to.”
Felicity sighed and turned toward Marco. The two whispered something I couldn’t hear because Luc was all but pushing me into the car.
My heart pounded hard, echoing like doomed drumbeats in my ears, and my hands shook, my heart and mind still at complete odds about what I should do, what I really wanted, and what was the right decision. All I knew was that this was not the way it was supposed to end. Not after the things Luc had made me feel, not when that connection still burned hot between us. Not when my heart was telling me this was wrong.
I struggled against him. The air caught in my lungs. Instead of dropping to the seat as I knew he wanted me to do, I wrapped my arms around his waist and held on tight while tears flooded my eyes and a searing pain ripped right through the center of my chest. “Luc...”
He froze.
I held him tighter and pressed my face to his throat.
His hands closed over my shoulders, but he didn’t push me away. He just held still, his heart thumping rapidly in my ear, his chest rising and falling slowly against me.
Long moments passed. I couldn’t stop the tears from sliding past my lashes. Couldn’t keep from hoping he’d wrap his arms around me, tug me away from the car, and beg me not to leave. But he didn’t.
He only swallowed against me and very quietly in my ear said, “You were right. There’s nothing here for you anymore. Nothing but shattered promises and misery to look forward to. It’s time for you to go. I want you to leave before you end up broken and angry like me.”
His fingertips dug into my shoulders, and very carefully, he pushed me away, stepping back until his touch was nothing but a memory and I was left standing cold and alone beside the open car door in the darkness.
For the first time since he’d kissed me, our eyes met and held. But through blurry vision I didn’t see the anger he claimed was in him. I didn’t see a broken man. I just saw the man I loved, his eyes filled with regret.
A regret that cut me to the quick because I knew this was not what he really wanted. This was what he thought I wanted. This was what he thought was best for me.
Only I suddenly couldn’t think about me. The lone word echoing in my head was us.
“Natalie,” Felicity said from inside the car. “If we’re going, we have to leave now.”
Marco stepped into my line of sight, blocking my view of Luc, and gently took me by the elbow, helping me into the vehicle. He and Felicity exchanged quick words as he stretched my seatbelt over my lap and Felicity latched it, then he closed my door with a snap and moved back.
The engine hummed, and the car pulled away from the side of the road. It all happened in a blur. So fast I barely had time to process let alone react. All I could do was stare at Luc standing in the shadows as we pulled away, his hands in his pockets, his eyes locked on the car. All while a blinding pain overwhelmed my senses.
This was what I wanted, wasn’t it? Freedom? The chance to make my own decisions? Then why did I hurt so bad?
And why did I suddenly feel as if I was making the biggest mistake of my life?
7
Luc
Marco pulled the Mercedes to a stop in front of the guesthouse and shifted into Park, illuminating the dark cottage.
For a moment, I sat still in the passenger seat and stared at the stone structure, searching for any sign Natalie had changed her mind and come back, but no lights flipped on inside the house. No curtains moved indicating anyone was inside. The place was as cold and silent and empty as I felt. A realization that sent my mood spiraling even darker.
“You sure you don’t want to stay up at the main house?” Marco asked, turning off the ignition. “Plenty of guest rooms.”
“You worried about me being alone?”
“Maybe.”
I huffed. Not maybe. Definitely. “I’m fine here. I’ll probably just fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow,” I lied.
“Luc—”
I pushed my door open and climbed out, not wanting advice or a pep talk or any kind of heart-to-heart that would only make me feel worse.
Marco followed, closing his door with a frown as he tossed me the keys. “Offer’s still open if you change your mind at any time.”
I wouldn’t.
I caught the keys and pushed them into my pocket. Marco turned to walk up to the main house but stopped several steps up the hill and looked back. “You did the right thing. I know it sucks, but it’s better in the long run.”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t know how to answer.
“Get some sleep, Luc.” Marco turned back for the main house. “You look like shit.”
As his footsteps faded in the distance, I drew a deep breath and climbed the porch steps. Inside, the house was just as quiet as it had looked from the car, and as I moved through the dark living room into the bedroom, all I could think about was Natalie—sitting on the couch reading one of the magazines I’d brought her, eating at the table in the kitchen, standing at the window gazing out at the view, sound asleep and looking like an angel in that big bed...
I stopped in the doorway to the bedroom and stared at the empty bed, which she’d made sometime during the day. The comforter was smooth and perfect, the pillows stacked decoratively against the headboard.
My mind skipped back to the way it had looked last night when I’d carried her in here from the couch—messy sheets, pillows askew, my body pinning her to the mattress as I held her hands above her head and kissed her. As I forced her to kiss me back.
“Say you can’t live without me the way I can’t live without you.”
“Dammit. I do need you. I only need you.”
My eyes burned, and I blinked quickly, looking away from the bed. A sparkle caught my attention from across the room. Still blinking to keep the tears at bay, I narrowed my gaze on the shimmering object only to realize it was her ring. Sitting on the top of my dresser.
A hole opened up inside me. One that was so wide and dark and empty, I was afraid it would suck me in and completely consume me.
Unable to breathe, I turned quickly out of the room, crossed the dark living space, and didn’t draw a full gulp of air until I was standing on the porch with the front door closed tightly at my back.
I couldn’t stay in this cottage without Natalie. I wouldn’t risk going up to the main house and Marco seeing my pathetic breakdown. The only place I could think to go was somewhere I didn’t really want to be. But I didn’t have any other options, and if I stayed here—
Thoughts of Natalie climbing over me on the couch last night filled my mind again, making that burn reignite behind my eyes.
Shit, if I stayed here, I was going to completely fucking lose it, which I couldn’t let happen because Dante still needed me.
Before I could change my mind, I tugged Marco’s keys from my pocket and jogged down the porch steps.
Then I climbed into the vehicle and told myself Marco was right. I’d done the right thing by letting Natalie go. In the long run, it was better for her, better for my House, better for everyone that I was unattached.