He spotted us standing in the trees and stilled, and all that heat ignited to full-on flames when I recognized the dark look in his eyes. A look that told me things with his father had not gone well and that he was fighting to hold back the storm inside him.
A storm I feared because I couldn’t control it. A storm I suddenly ached to have unleashed on me even though that made no sense.
“Natalie.”
I looked down at Felicity’s hand on my arm, then up to her gentle face.
“I know what you’re afraid of. It was the same thing I was afraid of when I first came here with Marco. Our situations are different yet so very similar. But the answers you seek aren’t going to be found in me or even in Luc. They’re going to be found in you.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do. What you’re trying to run from is not a man or a House or even a threat. All those things can be worked out. What you’re running from is a promise you don’t believe is real. And that’s not something you can ever outrun. It will follow you wherever you go.”
My heart beat hard and fast as I stared at her. She was talking about trust. That elusive faith I’d spent my entire life avoiding. The one thing that was keeping me and Luc apart, even now.
I loved him, but I didn’t entirely trust him. More than that, though, I didn’t trust myself, and that frightened me because it meant I wasn’t sure how I’d react if things got messy again—if I’d try to run like I had before, or if I’d have the strength to believe in him... In us.
Felicity squeezed my arm and smiled. “Give it a chance. Give him a chance to prove it to you. I promise everything else will seem less daunting when you do.”
She let go of me and moved around the bench. “We’ll see you both in an hour.”
As the sun dropped below the hillside, I watched as she met Marco and Luc at the car, slipped her arm around Marco’s waist, and lifted her lips for a kiss.
Felicity didn’t seem the least bit stressed about their earlier meeting, and I couldn’t help but wonder if that was because her life wasn’t in immediate danger or if she’d simply accepted everything I was still struggling with. But then Luc turned his gaze my way once more, and that heat flared inside me all over again, distracting me from everything but him.
Felicity was right. I needed to talk to him. Not just about what had happened today, but about us. About how he felt and where we were going. I wouldn’t be able to focus on Dante or his House or anything else until I did.
He’d said he loved me, but he wasn’t particularly acting like a man in love. He’d been avoiding me ever since I’d left his bed back on the island. And I couldn’t wait any longer.
I needed to know if there was still a chance we could reconcile or if we were doomed for all eternity.
Because I could make a decision about what I should do next if I had an answer. It was the waiting in limbo that threatened to destroy me.
I found Luc in the living room when I entered the cottage, sitting on the couch with his laptop open on the coffee table in front of him, his long fingers busily clicking away at the keyboard.
He didn’t look up as I stepped into the room and closed the door at my back, and I told myself not to be deterred by that fact.
His jaw was a slice of steel beneath his scruffy jaw, and his shoulders were as tense as I’d ever seen them. I knew instinctively that things had not gone well with his father, but I was done sitting in the background, waiting to be included.
“How did it go?” I asked as I moved down the two steps.
“Fine.”
Fine did not tell me a whole lot. “Did he approve our marriage?”
“We discussed it. He’s checking into the paperwork.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but it didn’t sound good. And it didn’t sound as if it was safe for me to leave the property yet.
“Did you see Dante?”
“Yeah. He’s okay. For now.”
Sinking into a chair opposite him, I tried not be frustrated he was giving me so little. He’d talked to me this morning. Granted, it hadn’t been about anything emotional between us, but he’d been making an effort. I had to do the same. “Did your father agree to let Dante go?”
“Not yet.” He closed the laptop and pushed to his feet. “Marco and Fee invited us up for dinner. We have to be at the villa in an hour.”
“Yeah, I know.”
He still hadn’t looked at me. This morning, he’d avoided looking at me for the most part, but then he’d been stressed about his upcoming meeting. This was something different, though. The way he wouldn’t meet my gaze made me almost think he was hiding something.
“Luc, we need to talk about this.” And us. We need to talk about us.
“I know. And we will.” He lifted his laptop from the coffee table and stepped away from me. “Right now, though, I need to shower.”
He disappeared into the bedroom, and alone, I stared after him as an uneasy feeling took up space in my chest.
Instinct said to give him space. He was obviously dealing with something. But I was tired of being brushed aside as if I didn’t matter. And that feeling was growing stronger, telling me whatever he was hiding was something I needed to know.
I pushed to my feet. The bathroom door was already closed when I moved into the bedroom, but I didn’t let that stop me. I crossed the floor and reached for the door handle.
And found it locked.
I jiggled the knob, but the only response I got was the shower spray flipping on inside the bathroom. That and a deafening silence that kicked that feeling to a full-on warning blare.
One that told me whatever secret he was keeping from me this time might just be the one to ruin us for good.
3
Luc
Guilt compelled me to keep my distance from Natalie. A guilt I didn’t like. A guilt I feared was soon going to swallow me whole.
After that meeting with my father, after knowing I’d have to attend another of those depraved parties without her, I’d figured for both our sakes it was safer if I went on doing what I’d done since I’d awoken and found she’d left my bed: keep my distance, not reveal more shit that was going to cause her extra stress, hopefully save her some pain and fucking heartache.
Only, keeping my distance wasn’t helping matters. In fact, at the moment, keeping my distance was doing nothing but making things worse.
I drained the last of my wine and glanced at Natalie’s tense shoulders in the sleeveless red blouse as she sat beside me under the string of white lights at Marco and Fee’s patio table. She hadn’t spoken more than a few curt words to me since we’d left the cottage and come up here for dinner. She’d altogether avoided me after I’d gone to take a shower and was doing everything she could right now not to even look at me.
Considering the pressure I was under, I should be happy she was giving me as much space as I was giving her, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t because I knew she was pissed and because knowing she was so fired up only made me want her that much more.
Every muscle in my body was hot and tight and in need of release, and being forced to sit this close to Natalie while her intoxicating scent of grapefruit and honey swirled around me only amped that need to the thousandth degree. All I could think about was dragging her into the closest bathroom, hiking that flouncy black skirt up to her hips, and fucking her hard and fast against the counter until this craving inside me died down to something I could control.