That makes me grin. I love that my college friends have taken my high school skater girls under their wings. While I was gone this past semester, they’d all hang out sometimes together without me.
“Since I can’t ditch you to skateboard just yet, I guess that’s second best,” I tease with a dramatic sigh. I’m back to skateboarding every day, the addiction as strong as ever. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some hesitancy about hitting my old spots around here.
“Yeah, yeah. We know as soon as Beck gets back in town you’ll be ditching us left and right.”
My timing on returning to Summerside might have been slightly strategic. I just finished up my online classes, but I could have come back sooner and stayed with one of the girls until our new place was ready. I figured coming out a few days before Beck’s return was ideal. I’ll get some time to hang and catch up with just the girls, and then, like Lucy said, I won’t feel quite so bad about ditching them.
We pull up to Stargaze and for an instant I’m brought back to the night of my eighteenth birthday. I’d been so confused about Beck and what he wanted from me. I get it now, he had plenty of reasons for the way he acted then, and the inner conflict he experienced isn’t totally foreign to me anymore. It’s always been clear we want each other, that’s not the problem. But now I’m the one uncertain if it’s so simple. At least, I was a few months ago. I thought long distance would make us grow further apart, but somehow it’s made me more confident we can make this work. When I broke up with Beck all those months ago, I told him I needed to grow up a little bit, and I’m starting to think I might have at least been right about that. Or, I needed to get more comfortable with who I’m growing up to be, maybe that’s more accurate.
The scene inside the rink’s a little different from that Saturday night at the beginning of freshman year. It’s late afternoon on a Thursday, and an eight-year-old’s birthday party is finishing up.
“Jordan!” Summer calls my name and I catch a flash of blonde hair before she comes around the desk and greets me with a hug.
“We’ve missed you so much!”
“And I’ve missed you. Naomi’s here too?”
“Yep. We get off in an hour. Do you guys want to skate and then maybe we can get dinner?”
I glance at my friends, who are already taking off their shoes. “That’s the plan!” Ellie confirms.
Naomi comes through the doors from the rink and I get another tight hug. “We don’t even get to keep up with you on social media since you basically live off the grid now.”
“Not being on social media is living off the grid nowadays? I didn’t realize I was so alternative. Can you get me size eight?”
I don’t even like talking about social media, or my absence from it. I think all my friends figured out it was sort of this touchy thing for me after the crash in December. Even if they didn’t realize the bullying indirectly caused the crash, I made it clear it was a big reason why I wanted out from Brazen, competitions, and even my relationship with Beck. I know I wasn’t in the best head space then, and it makes me feel like a loser to admit it. After all, everyone my age is on social media. Now that I’m feeling more like myself, I’m starting to wonder if I can ignore it forever, or even if I should.
“You still haven’t watched any of the episodes?” Naomi asks quietly.
I shake my head. “No. Beck already told me he suspected they’d try to make it look like he was involved with other people, so I know it’s not going to be fun to watch.”
Naomi watches me closely. “Yeah, he didn’t warn me, and when I first saw some of that I flipped out on him.”
I sit down and start taking off my sneakers, not wanting to think too hard about what she saw.
“I’ll grab your skates. One sec.”
Sydney slides down the bench until she’s closer beside me. “You really haven’t seen any of Shred Live yet?”
“No. I’m guessing it will just mess with my head and make me mad.”
“And you’re not on any social media?”
“Nope,” I confirm, uncertain how much the others have filled Sydney in on the saga of my life.
I finally lift my eyes, and find Zora and Lucy shooting daggers at Sydney.
“That must take a lot of willpower. I’d be too curious,” Sydney finally says after a long pause.
I can’t help but laugh softly. “That’s one way of looking at it. But I know how much social media can skew reality so I can’t even imagine how much Shred Live will alter to get good numbers. It’s not worth the head games for me. I’ve had enough of those.”
“Good for you, girl,” Ellie says, reaching over for a fist bump.
Naomi returns with skates for me and Sydney while Summer delivers some to the others.
“Well, I can tell you that the show is the third most viewed on Netflix right now. Griff’s at least happy Beck’s suffering is helping get Brazen off the ground,” Summer informs me.
“Off the ground? It’s going to be the next Vans pretty soon at the rate it’s going. He can barely keep up,” Naomi mutters like she’s talking more to herself than us.
“Wait, it’s on Netflix? Seriously?” I don’t know how I missed that.
Summer’s eyes go wide. “Yeah, that’s why it aired early. Another reality show got cancelled so they had an opening I guess.”
“They didn’t release all the episodes at once though like they usually do for binge-watching on Netflix. Maybe they didn’t get enough time to edit the footage beforehand, I don’t know, but we have to wait a week between each episode,” Ellie grumbles.
“Sounds rough,” I muse.
Naomi puts a hand on her hip. “You don’t even go on Netflix? All right, damn girl, you really are off the grid.”
I can watch TV now without getting all messed up, but I’ve never been real into it anyway. “My mom likes home shows and my dad watches sports. Between the two of them bickering over who gets to watch what when, I didn’t really bother with TV while living with my parents.”
“You kill me sometimes, Jordan,” Zora announces as she stands up on her skates. “But no judgment that the rest of us are all addicted and watching it, all right?” She says it lightly, but I know she’s genuinely seeking my okay.
“Yeah, of course. Is the skating footage good at least?” I wonder.
“Yeah, it’s good,” Summer confirms. “The drama is even kind of good too,” she says with one of her big smiles. “But they do try to make it look like Beck isn’t moping over you, which is kind of annoying if you know the truth.”
“And actually, for us, since we do know it, it’s a little bit funny,” Zora says, holding her thumb and index finger to show just how little.
“Okay gossip train, we gonna hit up high school social hour or what?” Lucy announces. She’s still shaky on her skates as she stands up, but promises she’s gone a few times since our last outing and totally has the hang of it now.
“You can still hold onto me when we walk over there,” I assure her.
She doesn’t hesitate. “Okay good, I didn’t want to faceplant before getting to the rink.”