After Gregory’s overnight switch from devoted fiancé to demanding husband, I thought I’d learned not to get my hopes up, but the lesson refused to stick. Maybe that’s why it had been so easy for Gregory to manipulate me, too.
Looking back, it was easy to see that he had spent the first year of our marriage tearing me down so I’d be more compliant. He moved me away from all of my friends and peers, isolating me in Daln, a tiny city on a tiny dustball planet that no one ever visited unless they wanted to consult Gregory about his research.
Gregory was never pleased by anything I did, so I tried harder. I was a von Hasenberg. We didn’t fail, we persevered, and I had desperately wanted a good marriage.
But that confidence that I could fix anything was ultimately my downfall. I was so busy trying to fix things that I couldn’t actually see what was happening. By the time Gregory gave me the brain implant and modified my nanos, I was nearly broken and the resulting illness and weakness kept me that way.
Early on, in my darkest moments, when I’d been sick and in pain, I’d begged him to help me. Gregory had laughed and told me that he was helping.
I had believed him, for a little while.
After Gregory’s death, I had vowed not to make the same mistake twice. I wouldn’t be so easily manipulated again. I jerked my elbow out of Ian’s grip and stepped away.
Ian murmured something that sounded like, “Forgive me.” While I was trying to puzzle that out, he moved. He wrapped me up in my cloak like swaddling, then picked me up before my brain realized what was happening.
“Let me go!” I shouted, trying to break free.
He bundled me into the transport and sat with me across his lap, held close enough that I couldn’t escape.
It didn’t stop me from trying.
“Stop squirming,” he said tightly. His arms were like velvet-padded iron around me; they were gentle, but they had no give.
“You are a dead man, Ian Bishop,” I threatened.
“It wouldn’t be the first time, love,” he said, his clipped accent more pronounced than usual.
The endearment kicked me in the chest and I froze. I knew it didn’t mean anything, it was just a filler word like darling or sweetheart, but it hit on one of my secret longings.
I stared straight ahead and pretended my heart didn’t ache.
Ian carried me into Persistence, one of the smaller House ships that could be used by anyone in the House. He didn’t set me down until the cargo door had closed and locked behind us.
He kept hold of me and asked, “If I let you keep your weapons, do you promise not to use them on me?”
I stared through him. He sighed and rifled through my bag and pockets, removing the weapons. I didn’t bother fighting him. I would lose, and I didn’t plan to shoot him anyway, no matter how tempted I might be.
“Are you planning to ignore me all night?”
Yes, yes I was. My emotions were all over the board. Silence was safest.
When I didn’t respond, he said, “I’ve updated all of the override codes, so don’t bother. There are spare quarters in the middle level. We will be departing immediately if you would like to join me on the flight deck.”
I turned for the stairs without a word. My eyes caught on a familiar pile of cargo. He’d moved my supplies from Aurora to Persistence. I hesitated and Ian pounced.
“Curious?”
I was, desperately, but I refused to give him the satisfaction.
“I told you not to jump to conclusions, but you didn’t listen. Would you like to listen now or do you want to continue to live in the imaginary world you’ve constructed?”
“By all means, tell me some more lies,” I said bitterly, unable to maintain my silence.
“I wanted your oath because I wanted the option of sending you to safety. I used Guskov because I also needed confirmation of the party time and location. I’d heard rumors the party was on Matavara, so I sent your ship to your sister so you had a place to retreat to safely. I also sent a message letting her and Loch know where you will be and to find you if anything happens to me.”
I heard truth in the words, as much as I didn’t want to.
“I needed it to look like we were fighting, or your father would suspect I was working with you when I didn’t return immediately. Unlike you, I can’t just float around the ’verse on Daddy’s money. I actually need this job to survive.”
I smiled without humor. If Ian had the faintest clue as to what I’d had to endure to earn “Daddy’s money” then he wouldn’t be so glib about it. And while Father certainly had started my fortune and given me a vast advantage, I’d grown my accounts by an order of magnitude all on my own.
I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice. “Let me see if I understand. You betrayed me, but it was for my own good, so I shouldn’t be angry about it? Is that about right?”
“Bianca,” he growled, “I didn’t betray you. I’m letting you help, against my better judgment. Would you rather I send you to Earth?”
We could argue semantics all night, but my head throbbed and weariness pulled at my bones. “Ian, I trusted you and you lied to me. I know you think you were in the right, but I disagree. The next time I need to trust you, I’ll waver. If we’re going to work together, I need you to promise that you’ll be honest with me, and I need you to keep that promise.”
“And will you make the same vow?”
I kept a tight rein on my emotions, lest Ian see the terror that bolted through my system. I relied on secrets to stay safe. A crushing mountain of secrets where any one could bring down the whole lot. “I will not lie to you,” I said at last, “but I won’t subject myself to an interrogation, either. Just because you ask a question doesn’t mean I have to answer it.”
“Fair enough, I’ll agree to the same: I won’t lie to you, but I don’t have to answer questions.”
I had a feeling that we were both going to abuse the hell out of the question exception. After all, silence wasn’t a lie, despite what people might think.
I crossed the room and held out my hand for a handshake. “We agree that we’re working together to save Ferdinand and that we won’t lie to each other.”
“I accept. Do you trust me to keep my word?” he asked as he clasped my hand.
“Right now? No. I expect you to lie to me at the first opportunity. If you want my trust, you’ll have to earn it back. You can start by telling me where we’re going.”
“Andromeda Prime. You said you needed a dress.”
He’d surprised me once again. I hadn’t thought he was paying attention. “I don’t know if you had a city in mind, but Honorius has the best selection.” Andromeda Prime was one of the oldest occupied planets outside of the Milky Way. The capital, Honorius, was known for its fashion designers.
“Honorius is fine. Persistence’s FTL drive is ready, so we can jump as soon as we clear the atmosphere. Depending on the gate delay, we’ll be on the ground in an hour or so.”
Honorius’s time closely mirrored Universal, so it was also the middle of the night there. Shops would open for me no matter the hour, but my time tonight would be better spent sleeping. I’d napped earlier, but I needed deep sleep, preferably with a silencer running.