He slid me up a few centimeters, his eyes going heavy lidded. I glided easily against him. I wanted him enough that he could probably pull back and thrust home without any difficulty, despite my recent celibacy. I squirmed, angling for just that outcome, but Ian clamped his arm around my waist, pinning me in place.
“Now who’s rushing?” he asked. He carried me to the bed and lowered me onto my back. He followed me down, his hips wedged between my legs. So close.
Then his lips were on mine and my thoughts scattered. I slid my tongue into his mouth only to pull back with a gasp when his fingers closed around my nipple. I arched into his touch. “Yes,” I hissed.
He trailed kisses down to my other nipple before giving it a teasing lick. I buried a hand in his hair and pulled him closer. He groaned and drew the tight bud into his mouth.
I made a noise that was half moan, half whine. I arched again, trying to get him inside me. He chuckled against my skin and slid down farther. Now I did whine, until I caught the intent in his eyes. My breath hitched as he knelt beside the bed and angled my body toward him.
His first touch was tentative, reverent. A whisper-soft glide of one finger over my clit. My hips jerked, chasing the feeling. Ian smiled, a true, blinding expression of joy, before it gained a wicked edge. He pressed his other hand against my hip, holding me still.
Another touch, as light as the first. “Ian,” I gasped, straining toward him, “you’re killing me.”
“It’ll be a glorious death,” he promised. Then he bent his head and fastened his mouth around my clit. His lips and tongue stroked me and it was indeed glorious. He pressed two fingers inside, a slow thrust that caused my whole body to clench in need.
I was so close.
When I pinched my own nipples, desperate to fall over the edge, Ian groaned against me and that was all it took. Pleasure exploded, bowing my back and stealing my breath.
After I recovered, Ian crawled up my body, his intent clear, but I decided he’d been in charge long enough. I flipped our positions—only because Ian allowed himself to be rolled. Now he was laid out below me like a feast.
I started with his luscious mouth and then moved south. I laved one flat nipple into a hard point with my tongue while I gently pinched the other. He made a low sound of pleasure that thrummed through me.
I continued down, kissing my way across his washboard abs. I stopped every so often to lick and nibble. His hands clenched. “Bianca,” he said tightly, “please.”
I bypassed the place he wanted me most and pressed a delicate kiss to his inner thigh. He made a deep sound of dissatisfaction. I took pity on him and wrapped my fingers around his length. His body went taut and he stopped breathing.
The first stroke was a light caress, designed to tease and tempt. He was almost too beautiful for me to believe this was real. All tanned skin and rippling muscles. Even his cock was perfection, long and thick. When he shot me a desperate look, I took pity on him.
I worked him with lips, tongue, and hands until his body vibrated with tension. He gasped my name. Then he pulled me up and kissed me deeply. His eyes were twilight blue, dark with desire. “There are no condoms,” he said softly. “We both have nanos, but are you protected?”
Nanobots protected from disease, but they didn’t protect from pregnancy. “I have an implant,” I told him. “I’m protected.”
“Thank fuck,” he growled. He flipped us over and pressed against me. “Are you ready?”
“Yes, now,” I demanded. I ached to be filled.
He nudged forward and we both hissed in pleasure. “Let me know if I need to slow down,” he said tightly, the muscles in his neck standing out.
“You need to speed up!” I wrapped my legs around his hips and tried to pull him closer.
“Bianca,” he growled. But still he resisted, barely moving. Why had I mentioned it’d been a while? I’d be dead before he decided I was ready.
Deciding to take matters into my own hands, I pulled myself up until my mouth was next to his ear. “Fuck me, Ian,” I whispered. “Fill me with your cock.”
He shuddered and his hips snapped forward, driving him a few centimeters deeper before he caught himself. My eyes crossed in pleasure. I skated on the edge of orgasm.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he gritted out, all honor and anguish.
“You feel amazing. You’re not hurting me, except by holding back. Let go, Ian.”
He searched my eyes for several long moments before thrusting in to the hilt with a deep rumble of pleasure.
I sucked in a breath. He felt better than amazing. Nothing had ever felt this good. I teetered on the brink, wanting to fall over, wanting to draw it out. He pulled back, thrust again. And again. Wait, nothing had ever felt this good. It was only when he chuckled that I realized I’d said it out loud.
Ian sucked my nipple into his mouth and bit lightly. The tiny, sweet pain seemed tied directly to my clit as pleasure zinged between the two. “Again!” I demanded. I felt his smile against my breast before he complied.
I sailed into orgasm groaning his name. His thrusts turned harder, more demanding, before becoming erratic as he, too, tipped into bliss. He collapsed beside me. We both panted like we’d run a marathon.
“That was . . .” I trailed off, trying to come up with an appropriate adjective. Glorious, amazing, and magnificent all fell short. “Mind-blowing,” I decided.
“Yes, it was. You’ve killed me.”
“Was it a glorious death?” I asked with a smile.
His answering smile was tender. “Very.”
For two days we ate, slept, fucked, and tried to fill the hours of the day. I taught Ian the rest of the kata we’d started in his ship. He taught me more breathing and meditation exercises I could use for pain management. He built me up rather than tearing me down, and the contrast to my time with Gregory could not be clearer. I felt calmer, more centered, and more confident than I had in years.
Over food, we discussed a wide range of topics, but we were careful to not discuss the future. I didn’t know why Ian didn’t bring it up, but I avoided it because I’d half convinced myself that this was some sort of fever dream I’d wake from at any moment.
Even so, I was blissfully happy.
We were in the lounge, sipping after-dinner coffee and pretending we weren’t watching the clock when the five-minute jump alert went off. “I need to get to the flight deck,” I said. “If I don’t start talking as soon as we jump, Benedict is likely to do something unfortunate.” Like blow us up.
Ian stopped me before I would’ve dashed away. “Do you regret this?” he asked. He waved a hand between us, in case his question hadn’t been clear. His expression was guarded.
“No!” I hesitated, then steeled my spine. “Do you?”
He shook his head. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But you’re a von Hasenberg and I’m an orphan from nowhere who’s been genetically modified. You could do so much better. Once you return to Serenity, you’ll see that.”
This was an important conversation that needed more than five minutes. Still, I had to try or I’d lose him forever. “Ian, I let my husband burn to death. I’m a walking science experiment gone wrong. Being a von Hasenberg has more downsides than you might think. You can do far better than me. I’m terrified that you’ll realize it at any minute and then leave me bereft.”