A huge lump forms in my throat. "It's not your fault," I whisper, trying to hold back the surge of pain I feel for his sister.
Knox bites his lower lip and wraps his arms around himself. He digs his nails in and pulls down over the fabric of his shirt. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to track him down and kill him."
It's risky, but I reach out and touch his shoulder. He just looks like he needs someone to touch him to ground him. He glances at my fingers, but doesn't flinch away. "You can't kill him. You'll end up in jail."
"I don't care. Already been to juvie a few times. I'd take a lifetime of prison for the satisfaction of killing him."
Oh boy. This got very serious really quickly. It sounds like he's been abused and he's hurting himself. I look at Foster and I'm sure he sees it in my eyes. We can't walk away now. We're going to help these kids. I'm not sure how but we're not letting them sleep here in a driftwood shanty.
"You lookin' for work?" Foster asks in his easy-going tone that could soothe any wild beast.
Knox sits up and his face brightens. "Might be." He's still cautious, but he's stopped tearing at his skin.
"Why don't you come up to my property? Need someone to help me with an obstacle course," Foster says.
Brilliant idea! Why didn't I think of that?
"I don't take handouts," Knox replies.
"I'm not offering a handout. I'm offering you a job. I need some help up at my cabin in Boulder Creek. You earn some cash. No strings attached."
Knox's brow wrinkles like no one has ever done something nice for him. "Why?"
"I owe it to someone." Foster's voice is deep and rich again. He's coming back into his confident self.
"You don't owe nothing to me."
"Nope. I'm asking for you to give me a hand. Can you do that?"
"Sure."
"Go get your sister."
"My sister?"
"You leave her alone all day?"
"She's at the mall asking for money."
"That's no good. Get in the truck. She can come too."
"Are you serious?"
"Course. Can't leave your thirteen-year-old sister begging for cash at the mall. God knows who could get to her. Let's get her and bring her to my place. She'll be safe there. We'll feed her a good meal."
Knox looks from Foster to me like he's judging us. I'm sure it's hard for him to trust people, but Foster and I are being up front with him and he has to see it in our tone.
"Okay."
***
After a trip to the grocery store, we pick up Knox's sister, Sutton, and his two friends, Mace and Remy. We get to know them as we drive up the mountain. Foster them working on his climbing wall. Knox's sister Sutton is patiently watching them. She and Knox have an easy air about them when they're together. He seems less nervous. She keeps her gaze on him for reassurance. You can feel the bond between them.
As the sun sets, Foster and I give them some space and move over to the fire pit. Foster stacks some wood up in a pyramid in the center of the circle. I take a seat in one of the Adirondack chairs next to the fire. We're out of earshot, and a lot has happened in the last twenty-four hours. He's probably as twisted up inside as I am.
"You still want to be a sports therapist?" he asks me out of the blue as he lights a match and tosses it into the fire. This is not what I thought would be on his mind at all.
"Oh, I gave up on that."
"Why?" He blows on the kindling under the wood, but it's not starting up.
"It was just a dream." I stare into the fire that won't start.
"Look into the schools in town. You'll find what you need." Foster adds more kindling and some lighter fluid. He rearranges the wood to add more space in his pyramid.
"I don't know what I'm going to do. I just want to be with you."
"You got me one-hundred percent." He grins down at me and reaches down for a mechanical lighter with a long metal point. He sticks it deep into the kindling and clicks it. "This is your second chance. Have you ever done something just because you want to do it?"
"I came out here."
He chuckles. "Glad you did." The tiniest ember turns orange in the pit. He blows on it and bits of ash fly around the pit. "I think you should go for it."
God, that would be wonderful if it really happens. It warms my heart he's thinking of me and my fulfilment.
"Henry left me plenty of money. It's not an issue."
"How about you?" I ask him. "What would you do with a new shot at life?"
The fire flares up and the wood crackles. The pungent smell of the lighter fluid hits my nose. "I was going to give up and grow old in the mountains." His mouth smashes into an ironic smirk.
"Now you're not."
"No. Now I got three boys out there building me a climbing wall and a thirteen-year-old girl who is fragile as a leaf standing there staring up at her brother like he's going to give her all the answers she needs."
"Yeah."
He sits down next to me and takes my hand. His gaze is on my fingernails as he talks. "I know how they're feeling right now. Insecure. Alone. Unwanted."
I nod. Foster will always have immense compassion for kids who are in the position he once was in.
"Why don't we ask them to stay the night?" It came to me spontaneously, but now it seems like a good idea.
"Thought about it," he says casually, but if Foster thinks about something, he's usually serious.
"Ask them to stay." I'm whispering but saying something loudly to him. "Things go well, they might call you Dad."
He hangs his head. I've triggered something deep inside him. "I'm too young to be their dad."
"No you're not. You'd be fantastic. A true role model."
He stares down at his feet. "I've always wanted that but… I don't know nothing about it. How do you become a parent?" he says, peering back over his shoulder at me. His eyes are so beautiful in the fire light.
"You tackle it like you've taken on everything that's come your way. Try, fail, work hard, practice it, master it. One thing I know about you, Foster, is you're disciplined and dedicated." I reach out and run my hands through his hair, comforting him by combing from his temple to his neck.
He wraps an arm around my back and pulls me onto his lap as he reclines in his chair and spreads his legs wide. It feels good to sit on his strong thighs, his reassuring hand spread flat on my back. "It's not logical or sound. I shouldn't be adopting anyone if I can't keep my ass sober and focused."
"Maybe they'll help you get there." Now I can reach his other ear, so I stroke his hair on this side too.
"Kids do stupid shit."
"We all do. And we all need a safe place to land. Isn't that what you've wanted your entire life?"
"I found it with you." He stares into the blaze that is picking up steam now.
"Maybe "us" is a family with imperfect kids and some mixed-breed rescue dogs."
His gaze moves from the fire and focuses on me. "You want to adopt kids?"