He didn’t understand why, but tears started to form in his eyes. The mere thought of Meredith leaving him was tearing him apart. He wouldn't be able to bear it if he saw her with someone else.
“How things are?” Henry repeated, still puzzled.
“I’m a presidential candidate, Henry. Goddamn it! I can’t exactly bring my twenty-something girlfriend out onto the stage for a kiss and expect people to applaud,” he spoke while gritting his teeth as his hands clenched into fists. “My political enemies will rip her to shreds. And that’s only the beginning.”
“I see.” Henry patted him on the shoulders while nodding his head, finally understanding what was wrong.
“I just… I know she’s going to leave. And besides, I’ve got other things to worry about. Christ! I’ve got the fucking campaign to win.”
“So… that’s it, then?” Henry asked.
Eli wiped at a tear rolling down his left cheek.
This was the first and only time in his entire life he'd ever been scared over losing a woman. Worse, he knew he'd fucked up, and he'd never have the chance to tell her how he really felt about her. He never thought he could be in so much pain over someone he'd only known for a few months. How was this even possible?
You found love, said a voice in his head.
And this time, he didn’t have a reason to disagree. What else could it be?
Yes, he loved Meredith Fields.
He was madly and infuriatingly in love with her.
“Yeah, Henry… I guess that’s it,” he murmured in agreement. The realization gutted him.
“How ‘bout a glass of whisky?” Henry suggested.
After a moment of silence, Eli nodded his head and Henry led the way back to the large ballroom. He hoped the alcohol would help lessen the pain he was feeling. He silently wished it would help his heart grow numb.
Chapter Thirty
Eli and his campaign team arrived in Boston a few days after the gala in D.C. After the conversation he'd had with Henry regarding his relationship with Meredith, he was having a hard time getting to sleep – just like the other night. And he was getting more and more irritable with the slightest things – especially Sosie.
Sitting at the foot of his bed, he dialed her number as he planned to cancel all his plans for the day. He wanted some time alone for himself, to clear his mind.
“Reschedule all of my plans for today,” he said the moment Sosie picked up.
“What– You can’t,” she answered begrudgingly. He could imagine the sour look on her face. “You can’t cancel your plans for today. You're meeting–“
“If you can’t, then I’ll have to find someone who will,” he said cutting her off, not bothering to hide his annoyance. He didn’t have the patience to put up with Sosie’s nagging anymore. He was just too tired of having silly arguments with her.
She gasped over the line, making him feel a pang of regret for talking to her that way. More than anyone else, he knew that Sosie was doing her job perfectly. And if it weren't for her efforts, he wouldn't be leading the polls, and the campaign wouldn't be as good as it was.
“Fine,” she responded curtly, cutting the call short.
Elijah was more than happy to finally get some time to himself. When he checked his phone, he decided to attend the Navy SEAL’s funeral at the last moment, locking himself in the bathroom to get a quick shower.
He had donned a black suit and sneaked out of his hotel room. As he marched through the corridors, he hesitated when he passed by Meredith’s room. He found himself knocking on her door, thinking about something to say.
When he was finally able to make up his mind, she opened the door, a crack, surprised to see him. She opened the door a little wider and he found her looking beautiful as usual, dressed formally in a white blouse and black pants.
“Today’s events are canceled,” he informed her, looking deep into her ocean blue eyes.
“Yes, I just got Sosie's announcement. You shouldn't have bothered coming all the way here,” she said coolly.
“I want you to come with me somewhere.”
She bit her bottom lip, looking hesitant while looking down at her outfit. He suspected she felt self-conscious about what she was wearing.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. “You’re always perfect.”
Meredith flushed but smiled at his statement, nodding her head.
“Okay, let’s go.”
Intertwining his fingers with hers, he led the way out of the hotel. His grip was firm, and he didn’t have any intention of letting go of her hand. When she struggled to pull away from his grip as people around them watched, he only held her tighter.
Meredith shot him a confused look. Her face was beet red by the time they got in a cab. Clearly she was embarrassed with the attention they got from the people in the hotel. But he wasn't the least bit bothered by it.He just wanted to spend some time with her.
Elijah expected her to question him the moment the cab pulled away from the hotel. But she remained silent. She was just staring out the windows as they traveled to their destination. She stopped trying to pull away, and let him hold her hand.
He was glad she didn't want to talk. He didn't have any answers for her, none she would like at least. All he knew was that he wanted to be with her.
When they arrived at a cemetery, she shot him a puzzled look.
“What are we doing here?” she asked.
“We’re attending a funeral.”
She paused, still confused.
“Whose funeral?”
“A friend. He died while serving the country,” he murmured softly.
Meredith fell silent again, regretful for asking questions. He squeezed her hand softly, reassuring her everything was fine. He was fine – because she was with him.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“You don’t have to be,” he said, then sighed.
He looked at the crowd of mourners. He felt incredibly guilty, watching the sobbing family members of the SEAL who had died in the strike. The outcome of which he'd altered for selfish reasons. Smiling bitterly, he uttered a silent apology.
And as much as he wanted to regret what he'd done, he didn't. That could have been his brother they were burying instead, his mother sobbing at the graveside.
It was an impossible decision to make.
But he'd done it for his family.
And he knew others in his position would have done the same. Not that it brought him any comfort.
He sighed, feeling the heavy burden even more.
“Every time I see something like this, I’m reminded how fleeting our lives are. That we should chase what we want with the time we're given. You have to do it… while you can,” he said as tears formed in his eyes. He was getting all choked up with emotion.
His late father had always taught him to live life to the fullest, so he wouldn't have any regrets. Eli shook his head and clenched his jaw tightly. He was living his life the exact opposite way of his father's advice.
Life always found a way to get in between him and his dreams.
He knew happiness couldn't be achieved without sacrifice. But did he really have to sacrifice Meredith – his happiness – for his political ambition?