“You know I think of you guys as family too, right?” The last thing he wanted was for his feelings to be misconstrued or for his ambition to injure his partners. “This has been killing me. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. Hell, Morgan thought I wasn’t into her because I didn’t even want to fuck as much.”
“I noticed that too.” Mike’s jaw clenched.
Damn it, Joe was screwing this up too. And it was only going to get worse if he ditched the crew. How could they ever believe how agonized he was about it? “There’s other factors. We have to move anyway…”
“You do? Why?” Mike stepped back and crossed his arms. Uh oh. This was taking a turn for the worse.
“Because our place is tiny and the kids aren’t anymore. Nathan wants a puppy and I can’t even give him that where we’re at now. They’re going to be teenagers in a minute and they need their own space. Pretty soon they’re going to be in high school, a terrible time to uproot them. So we need to act now.” His worries came pouring out in a flood.
Instead of arguing, Mike was silent for longer than Joe was entirely comfortable with. Finally, he nodded. “I see where you’re coming from. So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet. Morgan and I are still trying to figure that out.”
“Well, you know I’ve always got your back.” Mike could have made it easier on him if he’d acted like a jerk. But no, he did what any person who loved another did. He prepared to let them go when needed, no matter how bad it hurt.
Which was exactly why Joe couldn’t find the right way to move forward. How could he when he regretted what he was leaving behind with every step he took toward the future?
“How the fuck am I going to make this work?” Joe asked, staring up at the ceiling as if for divine guidance.
“Look, next weekend is a holiday. Why don’t you drive out there? Celebrate with Eli, Alanso, Sally, and Tom. Talk about this shit in person. This isn’t the kind of stuff you should do over the phone. Hell, take Morgan with you this time. Kate and I will watch the kids. We’ll take them camping with us. Abby and Landry will love it.”
Neither of them said what they were thinking, that it might be one of the last times their kids got to hang out together for a while, so they should make the most of it.
That plan sounded good to Joe too. Maybe with some time alone, he and Morgan could hash things out. With fresh eyes maybe she could see all the possibilities he envisioned when he visited Middletown.
“I’m not finding a reason to say no here.” Joe scrubbed his hand through his hair. “Let me run it by Morgan, but I think we’ll probably take you up on that if you’re sure.”
“Of course I am. About all of it.” Mike clasped Joe’s forearm for a moment, then stepped back slowly. “You deserve the best. And if they can give you that, you should be willing to hear their offer with an open heart and an open mind.”
“Thanks, Mike.” Joe snatched his hammer off the ground and shoved it into the belt at his waist. “I knew you’d understand. And that only makes this ten times as hard.”
“Just the way we like things around here. Big and hard.” Mike cracked up as he turned back to their project. Except this time it might have been him hammering the nails with a little too much force.
8
“This place is gorgeous.” Morgan’s breathy gasp echoed as Joe let her into the home they’d rented for the weekend. The entryway opened to a wide staircase.
“Upstairs there are four bedrooms. Down here there’s the kitchen, a living room, a big dining room where you could have dinner parties without crashing at someone else’s place, and there’s even a sunroom off the back.” Joe figured it was exactly the sort of home they’d choose for themselves if they built from the ground up. Crown molding everywhere, upgraded lighting fixtures, high-quality finishes he’d love to install in a place he got to stay with his family. It would be a chance for him to put his craft to the best possible use, to make a home for his family. And here, in Middletown, they could easily afford both the land and the construction costs on a place like this.
If they moved, this could be their future.
“I’m not going to lie. I could get used to this.” Morgan walked to the rear of the home and peered out the expansive windows. It had lovely landscaping, a yard that stretched forever, and enough bathrooms that each of the four of them could take a shower separately but simultaneously.
When she turned and spied the kitchen, her eyes nearly popped out of her head. She dragged her fingertips over the stainless steel appliances so lovingly he tried not to be jealous. Then she admired a giant marble-topped island and even an appliance garage that hid a stand mixer along with other doodads.
“You don’t mind that we’re not staying at Hot Rods?” Morgan asked Joe while testing out the high-arched faucet you could easily put a giant pot under.
“We’re right down the street. That’s close enough. Besides, Eli wasn’t joking. There really isn’t room for them, never mind us. I’m not going to make you bunk on the couch like we’re teenagers bumming our way through trade school again.” Joe had taken the drive out there to reflect on how far he’d come in the past twenty-five years, but also to focus on the road ahead, and where it could take them if they were courageous enough to keep traveling onward together.
“I don’t know, that sounds kind of fun.” Morgan smiled at him over her shoulder. “But this is…incredible.”
“The owner told me she has a monthly rate and she just had a cancellation for the whole summer.” Joe shook his head. “Wouldn’t that be something?”
“We’d never be able to squish ourselves back in our apartment after spending that much time in a home like this.” Morgan sighed. “I didn’t realize we’d outgrown that place, but you’re right. We have. No matter what, we’re not staying there.”
Joe put his hand on her shoulder and kissed the side of her neck from behind her. “There’s no rush. If you’re not ready yet…”
“I am.” She clasped his hand. “It’s scary, but also exciting. Don’t take my mixed emotions as regret. It’s not that. It might just take a bit of getting used to.”
“Fair enough.” Joe hugged her tight to his chest.
“I think it scares me most because I can so easily picture us here,” she whispered. “What do you think would happen if we moved? Would we be part of the Hot Rods gang like we are the Powertools?”
“Are you asking if we’d share with them?” Joe’s arms dropped to his sides and he took a step back. He’d thought about it but it was another thing to hear it from Morgan. Is that what he wanted? They’d definitely gone as far as watching before. But joining in? He wasn’t sure about that. Would it be awkward or awesome? Would it take away from the special connection they had with the crew?
Morgan wandered to the other side of the kitchen, peeking into the fancy refrigerator with its multiple-setting icemaker and modern freezer configuration. He knew she was trying to occupy herself instead of staring him down as he mulled over her question. To give him time to really think about what she was asking. If that’s what she needed…