Early. What is wrong with my brain? Why am I thinking there’s a “later”?
Nassakth studies me for a long moment. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
I nod, feeling a little shy. My toes curl on the cold floor. “I liked it when we slept together. I felt…safe.”
“Then I am yours.”
And I prickle all over again with that nameless feeling I don’t hate.
28
NASSAKTH
I climb into bed with Kim, a little uncertain how she wishes to handle things. Does she merely want me in the same room with her? Or does she want to sleep as we did last night, bodies touching? I know which one I am hoping for, but I will be fine with whatever she decides. It is enough that she trusts me to allow this.
No, I realize. Not just allow. She asked me to stay with her. She prefers my company.
For a moment, I want to race into the bathroom and brush out my tail. To wave it like a banner as I climb into bed (again) and hope that she notices what a strong, brave, attractive partner I can be. But I discard the idea—Kim just wants to sleep.
I settle in at the edge of the large mattress, a polite distance away. Kim gets into bed and immediately moves to my side, snuggling up against me.
“I don’t know why I’m surprised that you’re always so warm,” she says between yawns. “But you are.”
“Are you cold?”
“Not now.” Her fingers curl in my fur and she tucks her head against my shoulder. She’s still for a moment, and then her leg worms between mine, and she sighs. “Comfortable.”
I am glad one of us is, because now I am aching. My cock is rising in my trou, my body utterly aware of her nearness. This is what I wanted, and it is both the best thing ever and the most frustrating. I watch her as she relaxes in my arms, her eyes closed, her lips slightly parted. The collar of my tunic is oversized on her and reveals a delicate, pale shoulder that begs to be touched. Unable to resist, I gently tug the collar back up, hiding her flesh….even as I let my fingertips graze her skin.
She makes a soft little noise in her throat and shifts closer to me, and I have to close my eyes to control the surge of heat in my body. I will think of unappealing things to calm my raging need. Things like the bounty hunters. Kim’s other suitors. Kim’s outdated air-sled. Kim’s fields of noli flower.
“Nassakth?” Kim’s voice is soft even as she twines her fingers in my mane.
Yes, I will touch you, I want to say to her. Yes, I will give you great pleasure. Many cubs. Just give me a chance.
I clear my throat and manage a strangled, “Yes?”
Her fingers comb gently through my mane, then move lower on my chest, brushing over one of my bare pectorals. I wear nothing but my trou, since I was preparing to sleep, and now I realize all my skin pressed against her is both a great blessing and a curse.
“You said you didn’t know what the bounty hunter wanted. Is that true?” I hesitate for a bit too long, and she makes a soft noise in her throat. “You do know. What is it?”
“Nothing.”
She pets me a little more. “Don’t you think you should tell me?”
“No.”
Her fingers skim over my shoulder, stroking in little circles. Her voice is cajoling and soft and makes my groin tighten. “But I’d really like to know.”
I open my eyes. Peer down at her. “Female, are you manipulating me?”
“Yes. Is it working?” One fingertip glides down my arm, and I notice she has her eyes open, and she’s watching me.
I chuckle at her blunt answer. “Is that why you invited me in here? To coax answers from me because I am weak for your touch?”
“No. I like you in here.” Again, she is honest. Our eyes meet and hers do not shine in the darkness, but they are still beautiful. “The manipulating is just a nice bonus. Plus I’d really like to know.”
And her hand strokes down my arm.
I groan softly, unable to help myself. I cannot resist her touch, manipulation or not. “What he wanted is not important.”
“It might be to me. You won’t tell me?”
“I…no.”
“Unfair,” she whispers. “I thought we were done with secrets.”
I wish we were. “It does not pertain to you, and I do not wish for you to worry.”
“Like I’m not going to worry if you don’t tell me what’s going on?” Her brow furrows and she moves her fingers lightly across my chest again, as if they are dancing over my skin. “Can we….trade for information?”
“Trade?” I am purring, I realize with a shade of embarrassment. Purring at her touch, because she knows just how to work me and I am the weakest of males under her hand.
“Yes. You tell me what the bounty hunter wanted and I’ll…give you something you wanted.”
An image of Kim, on all fours under me as I bite her neck, floods through my brain. “What…what do you think I want?” The words are thick. Ragged. Hungry.
“I thought I might introduce you to a human courtship ritual,” she says softly. “Like…kissing.”
Kissing. The mouth-tastings I have heard about and watched on the vids. The affectionate gesture that humans make to mates and lovers, and one that any mesakkah would cringe over for the intimacy and lack of hygenic protocol. But praxiians have no such worries, and I want this more than anything.
Well, almost anything. I reluctantly banish the thought of Kim on all fours to a distant corner of my mind. I gaze down at her face, looking for fear or reluctance. If she looks as if she does not wish to participate in this—even if she is the one to suggest it—I will say no. A mate is no mate if she is not willing and eager.
But Kim bites her lip and looks up at me, and her cheeks are flushed, her pupils large. Her hand flattens on my chest, right over my pounding heart, and I do not think she is afraid. “We could both get something we want,” she whispers. “What’s the harm?”
I reach out and gently rub a knuckle along the delicate line of her jaw. “I do not wish to kiss you if you do not want it, Kim. If you feel you must know this information that badly, I will tell you anyhow. I would not push you for favors you do not wish to give. I would rather have your trust above all else.”
She leans into my touch, and her expression grows shy. “I…maybe I might be interested…in…kissing you. Maybe.” She’s panting slightly, as if she is as breathless as I am. “Is that weird?”
Is it weird? Not at all.
Does it make my heart-feelings sing with hope? Absolutely.
29
KIM
“You are very good at persuading,” Nassakth murmurs.
Am I? I don’t feel good at it. I’ve never particularly gotten my way on anything before now. If anything, I’ve felt distinctly unlovable for the last several years. But Nassakth has a way of peeling back my layers and making me feel wanted. Maybe that’s why I’m caving so fast. When he looks at me, I don’t feel like aging, worthless Kim, human trash. I feel like a beautiful, desirable woman and it makes me want more.
So I stroke his chest, letting my fingers trace over his pectorals. His fur is thickest at his neck and shoulders, a lot like a lion’s mane, and it thins out over his chest, leaving a slight fuzz over the rest of his skin. It’s not enough to hide the fact that his muscles are very clearly defined, and it makes him a pleasure to look at, and even more of a pleasure to touch. He’s purring, too. There’s a low rumble in his chest that makes parts of me throb in response.