Chapter Seven
Daniel glanced at Eli as they stopped so he could use his card to lift the barrier to the apartments’ parking garage. He was crouched low in his seat, his chin half-buried in the neck of his shirt. He’d seen Eli in his uniform, and it didn’t seem to give him the same confidence it gave Gael, nor did he seem to get the same satisfaction out of wearing it as Vance did, and he wondered why. Not that Daniel had ever worn a uniform in his life unless you counted football at school and college, and his training sweats when he gave up and went to Quantico. He went to Washington after getting his bachelor’s in political science and was never originally going to join the FBI, except working alongside them made him question all his life choices.
All his brothers had wanted to join their dad on the force including him until he hit around twelve, thirteen, and he guessed it was the control freak in him that made the thought of following orders because of who was giving them, not because they were always a good idea, shy away from law enforcement. But then he’d been young and naïve, and after realizing that he’d been fighting preconceptions and could actually do something he wanted, he jumped careers. His mix of skills led to data intelligence and then to the IINI.
Innocent Images. He’d done what had disgusted Gael so much. He’d posed in chat rooms. For four years he’d worked in the Innocent Images National Initiative unit, feeding the filth that walked the planet every day and posing as scum so well he wondered if he’d ever get rid of the stench that seemed embedded in his soul. They’d had successes and saved lives, but Daniel had reached his limit.
Especially after Sarah. Would he ever get the picture of her out of his mind? He would never get rid of the guilt. He knew that.
“Are you okay?”
Daniel forced himself out of his thoughts, realizing he’d pulled into his space in the garage and was just sitting there.
“Sorry,” Daniel offered. “It’s been a day.” Then he shook himself mentally and got out of the car, striding around to Eli’s side without thinking. Eli looked startled that Daniel seemed to think he needed help to get out of a car. “Not dizzy?” Daniel asked trying to explain his actions.
Eli shook his head, but he hunched over even as he stood.
“You look like you could do with twelve hours of sleep,” Daniel mused half to himself as they got in the elevator.
“I wish,” Eli responded quietly.
“Not sleeping?” Daniel turned and looked at his new partner again. He looked exhausted, but not just like he needed sleep, more like he was bone-deep weary.
“I never sleep.” Eli’s eyes widened a little as if the admission had startled him. Daniel didn’t reply immediately as the elevator stopped, so he busied himself opening his apartment door, one of only four on this floor which he liked.
He pushed the door open, then stood back to let Eli go through. Eli’s puzzled look increased, but he stepped in. Daniel tried to see it through Eli’s eyes. It was furnished, barely, thanks to Jacob and Chris yesterday. “I moved in yesterday,” he joked. “The whole family turned up at some point.” He missed Eric, but he and Joanna had their hands full with baby Emma.
“I was surprised you left Washington,” Eli said.
“Yeah. I came home all ready to quit the FBI and ended up getting another job instead.”
Daniel hid his smile at how startled Eli looked. Eli didn’t know how very much alike they were in a lot of ways. He carried on to the second bedroom. “Sorry it’s in a bit of a mess.” There were a few unpacked boxes of spare bedding Mom had given him, but he hadn’t got them out because he hadn’t expected to need them. “Are you hungry?” He wasn’t sure Eli had eaten at all.
“A little,” Eli admitted.
“Pasta okay? Any allergies? I’m not some fabulous chef, but I do a mean burger. I have some bolognese of my mom’s ready to heat up.”
“I eat anything,” Eli said.
Daniel nodded. “Bathroom’s through there if you would like a shower. Everything’s in there. Towels, soap, the lot.” He turned and left to go to his room. He knew he had some spare clothes Eli could wear to sleep in. They were about the same height even if Daniel probably had a good twenty pounds at least on him. He would grab them and come back and make the bed.
Ten minutes later, the spaghetti was cooking and he was just wrangling the sheets on the bed when he heard the shower cut off. He picked the sweats and T-shirt he had found and walked over to the bathroom. “I got some spare clothes for you. I can throw yours in the…washer,” Daniel finished weakly as the door opened and Eli stood, still wet, but with a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Thanks,” Eli said and reached out for the clothes, looking up at Daniel when he didn’t immediately release them. For a long moment Daniel was transfixed. Fascinated by a droplet of water that ran from Eli’s throat all the way down his sternum and in the dip past his rib cage.
Daniel wrenched his eyes up with difficulty and let go. “Food will be ready in ten. Take your time.”
Was that interest? Eli watched Daniel walk out of the bedroom and shut the door behind him, and he flopped on the bed, immediately getting back up when he realized he was wet. Eli scoffed. Of course it wasn’t. Good-looking successful guys didn’t go bargain basement shopping. Eli’s sex life was practically nonexistent. If it wasn’t the scar that frightened them off, the whole disinterested vibe generally did the trick. Eli had only tried with two other guys, and that had been a disaster. He only ever picked guys smaller than him, and that led to expectations he couldn’t fulfill. In another life Daniel would have been exactly who he would have gone for, but Eli didn’t have another life. He barely had this one. He’d seen to that. Caffrey was still destroying his life all these years later.
And sometimes he didn’t know why he was even bothering hanging on to this one.
“Mo?”
Eli could hear the frantic sobbing, see the blood smeared on his legs, but if he didn’t shut up, Caffrey would be back. Eli wanted to help, to do something, to do anything, but he heard the tread on the stair and rolled away from Mo and tried to pretend he was asleep. He screwed his eyes tight shut and curled into a ball while they dragged Mo screaming out of the room.
And then cried.
Because for a second, an awful dehumanizing one, he had been glad it wasn’t him. And that, more than anything, he hated Caffrey for.
Eli leaned on the cool tiled wall of the bathroom and drew in a shaky breath. That was the other reason he hated not being able to sleep. He didn’t have strong enough defenses, and sometimes things that should be forgotten still got through. He needed to change something. He knew that. Take care of Caffrey, then go.
He walked into the kitchen five minutes later just as Daniel was stirring something that smelled pretty good, and his belly growled. Daniel looked up approvingly and gestured to the small breakfast bar that separated the kitchen from the living room. Eli perched on one of the stools and reached for one of the glasses of water. He paused a second before he touched the glass in shock. He never drank from a glass he hadn’t seen filled. It was too ingrained in him. He didn’t even do it at Connie’s. He’d started carrying a bottle around with him and just refilling it or saying he was good if anyone offered. It was security.