Eli nodded. He couldn’t have dredged words up then if his life had depended on it. And just like that, he was angry. Furious. Sick of being a victim and being treated like one. Caffrey had damaged him, but it hadn’t ended there. His torment had lasted years, and it was still happening. He wanted his life back.
He wanted a life.
Eli launched himself at Daniel. How he found his mouth, God only knew, because Daniel stumbled back with the force until he steadied himself and wrapped his arms around Eli’s waist and immediately took over the kiss. For an instant it was dominant, bruising, and controlling, and then just as Eli felt the first tendrils of unease, like he had started something he couldn’t ever finish, Daniel immediately gentled. He stayed as close, but his mouth became softer, his arms coaxing not imprisoning, his fingers simply teasing, and each moan from his throat barely a whisper. Daniel’s lips left his mouth but gently nibbled and sucked the side of his neck, his jaw, the small sensitive piece of skin under Eli’s ear. Then with a last glancing kiss, he drew back.
“You are incredible.”
Anger flared again in Eli, and he dropped his arms and stepped back. The “but” echoed around the room, mocking him. What was I thinking? He turned, but Daniel caught his shoulder, and despite knowing he was going to be humiliated, he couldn’t bring himself to wrench free.
“I want nothing more than to take you to bed.” Daniel slipped a finger under Eli’s chin and gently pressed him to look up. Eli seemed incapable of objecting. “I want to lay you down and kiss every inch of your gorgeous body,” Daniel murmured and stepped close. “The list of all the ways I want to explore what we could do together is endless.”
“But?” Eli said challengingly.
“But,” Daniel repeated evenly. “Leaving the whole work thing completely out of this, I don’t think you’re ready for it.”
Eli stiffened and went to yank back.
“That wasn’t a criticism, Eli.” Daniel didn’t let go. “But even I can see your body doesn’t react to mine the way I react to you.”
Eli glanced down, but he knew what he was going to see. Daniel was hard, very hard, and Eli simply wasn’t. He closed his eyes, shame licking at him like the flames he could summon, just as scorching and just as damaging.
“I wanted…” To be normal. He wanted to try.
“How do you feel when I kiss you?” Eli looked up again. He hadn’t been expecting the question and shrugged. Daniel smiled ruefully. “That good, huh?”
Eli flushed. He hadn’t meant that. “It’s good.” And the sky is blue.
Daniel’s smile remained gentle. “Then how about we stick to that for a while?” He pulled Eli close as if Eli didn’t need to answer him. “Bed?”
Eli didn’t think he gave an answer, but Daniel must have been satisfied because catching hold of Eli’s hand, he turned and walked into the other bedroom. Eli’s bedroom. He lifted his arms and pulled his T-shirt over his head and looked at Eli. “I’m more comfortable like this, but you can stay exactly as you are if you prefer.”
Eli nodded, feeling his pulse start to hammer in his chest. He had on a T-shirt and a pair of ratty sweats he’d pulled out of the bag Sawyer had given him. He hadn’t even unpacked that yet. Daniel went into the bathroom, then got in bed while Eli still stood undecided. He shot into the bathroom, his belly a nest full of snakes. He peed and brushed his teeth, and then knowing he couldn’t put it off any longer, he let himself out. Maybe Daniel was asleep? He was lying on his back but lifted his arm as soon as Eli came out, in the same way Eli had woken up the day before yesterday. Eli stared. It was like being poised on the edge of some cliff.
Daniel smiled and his eyes crinkled. He looked normal. He looked dependable. Eli slid onto the bed and allowed Daniel to pull him closer until he was resting with his head on Daniel’s shoulder.
“Jacob brought home a bird once when we were kids. He was always doing stuff like that.” If Eli had been stunned at the complete random change of subject, he didn’t show it.
“In the end my dad had to build him a type of hutch in the garage, or Mom would have had a fit. She opened her pantry one time, and there was a rabbit eating its way through the salad she had bought for dinner. It went a little smoother then, though, but he never grew out of it, and his kids are just the same.” Daniel had a warmth in his voice that Eli wasn’t ashamed to say he was jealous of. “What about you? Did your mom have any family?”
Eli looked up. “I guess not. I don’t remember anyone.”
“And you wouldn’t have gone in the system if there was. What about a dad?”
Eli shrugged. There had been no one on his birth certificate.
“Have you ever tried to find out?”
A sudden longing coupled with the usual bitterness made Eli’s eyes sting, and he glanced down quickly.
“Hey.” Daniel tilted his chin until he was looking at him. “Sorry.” He glanced his lips across Eli’s, and they tingled. Daniel paused for a few seconds and slowly so Eli could see what he was doing, did it again. Except this time it wasn’t fleeting. Daniel’s lips lingered enough so Eli could taste him. He didn’t know what of. He couldn’t put a name to it, the same as he had a unique smell, but it made Eli’s heart beat faster, and want to be closer, as if invisible ties tugged him gently until they were entwined around them both.
Daniel slid his other arm up Eli’s shoulder, and for a moment Eli regretted he couldn’t feel his fingers on bare skin. He swallowed dryly and fixed his gaze on Daniel’s lips as if he could will them closer. He didn’t have to wait long, and a small sound of pleasure escaped his throat just as Daniel kissed him again. He didn’t know whether it was excitement or panic that pulled air into his lungs, but Daniel swallowed the noise.
It seemed like he had all the time in the world almost. One kiss sweetly melded into another. Eli’s arm roved over Daniel’s abdomen, waist, and then Daniel suddenly caught his wrist. “You might get a little more than you bargained for if you go lower.”
But Eli knew he was hard. He wasn’t stupid. Just because his own cock showed zero interest, he knew what was supposed to happen, but he brought his hand back. Daniel brushed a lock of hair from his forehead and gazed at him. “You are completely breathtaking.”
Eli felt the flush on his cheeks and tried to lower his gaze.
“You have no idea, do you?” Daniel mused and deftly encouraged Eli to roll over away from him. Before Eli had the chance to even think he might be disappointed, Daniel spooned himself behind him. He felt the kiss on the back of his neck and the small shiver it caused.
“Hush,” Daniel soothed.
But it wasn’t real.
He knew it wasn’t. He just wasn’t sure how long he could pretend it was.
Chapter Eighteen
Nearly another forty-eight hours later, there had been no sightings of Kai and none of Moses Samms. Eli had been restless, and Daniel had dragged him out for breakfast, and then they’d spent the morning looking at cars. He wanted the rental to go back.
They hadn’t gone to his mom’s over the weekend at all. She’d answered an emergency foster home placement for two children whose single parent had been admitted with acute appendicitis. They weren’t enhanced, but Liam was friends with the older one, and the younger one was on the autism spectrum and very wary of strangers. Daniel had agreed the least new faces the kids saw the better, and it would only be overnight while their grandma flew in from Canada. Today Connie and Liam had gone to see Molly and the family.