And that sinking feeling in my chest grows stronger, my fingers tightening on the reins in front of me.
“Taryn,” Dary whispers beside me. “What’s happened, beauty? You don’t seem yourself.”
And I don’t feel like myself either. I want to tell him that. I want to explain why my heart feels like it’s being ripped to pieces by the very thing I want, but I can’t. I don’t have words to make him understand and I can’t expose Niressa in front of all these people.
Instead, I shake my head, dropping my eyes to the snow as we move toward my home.
I barely pass under the gate and into the courtyard before Mira comes rushing down the stairs to greet me. Her pale blue dress swirls around her legs as she rushes toward me. A servant grabs the bridle of my horse, and Dary dismounts his before quickly helping me down.
“Taryn!” she squeals as she throws her arms around me, squeezing me much more tightly than is appropriate. I hug her back, blowing out a shaky breath as new emotions crash against me in waves I can barely surface through.
“Are you alright? I’ve been so worried,” she murmurs, pushing me back my elbows to examine me further.
“I’m fine,” I promise her as my eyes raise over her shoulder to meet my father’s where he stands at the top of the stairs. He rushes down to meet me, even as I pull away from my overzealous best friend.
“Father,” I begin, but he wraps me in a tight hug, his arms shaking from holding me so tightly.
“I am so, so incredibly sorry, Taryn. You must forgive me,” he whispers into my hair and my chest swells with more of that emotion trying to drown me.
“I—”
Father steps back, his hands never leaving me as he stares at me with shimmering eyes. There are new lines creasing his brow, showcasing the worry he’s been dealing with in my absence. All the anger I’ve been harboring toward him about his nonsensical war with the dragons, fades away as I watch his eyes brim with tears.
“I was so scared I’d lose you, too,” he murmurs, shaking his head. He pulls me into another embrace, his long white beard tickling my cheek.
“Then why did you send the wrong crown?” I ask, leaning away from him as some of the anger returns, rearing its ugly head.
Father’s lips pull down into a frown and he opens his mouth to speak, closes it, then blows out a huff of air before he answers me. “I was selfish and stupid, Taryn,” he mumbles. “I thought I could hold onto that memento and get you back safely, too. It was foolhardy and I should have known better.”
“I could have died, Father,” I whisper. I know that wouldn’t have happened, now. Niressa could never hurt me. But he doesn’t know that, and I didn’t know that then, either. He put me in legitimate danger over some token from the past.
“Can you ever forgive me?”
“I can,” I sigh, shaking my head. “I’ll use it for leverage later, most likely.”
“What in Gods’ name for?” he asks, his eyes going wide.
“You’ll see,” I smirk, and he shakes his head.
“The dragons won’t take anything else from us,” he murmurs in a serious tone.
“How could you possibly know—"
“Come,” he chuckles, wrapping an arm around me as he leads me up the steps and into our home. “Let’s get you cleaned up properly and rested.”
When father relinquishes me to the servants waiting inside the doors, Mira comes to my side. I watch as all the knights who came to my ‘rescue’ file into the castle and toward the dining hall.
“Thank you all,” I call out, realizing I had thanked absolutely none of them for their help until this moment. King Aeron pauses, nodding his head to me even as his sister comes through the door behind him. Her own armor plastered to her curves like she’s on display.
“Taryn,” she purrs, clapping her brother on the shoulder before she speeds up to me. “I’m so glad you are well, princess.”
“Yes, thank you all for your efforts,” I murmur, glancing to Mira. Dary comes to stand beside her, his eyebrows cinched together.
“Of course, we wanted to see you returned safely,” Anna rushes out. “I was so sad that our evening was disrupted before we could get to know one another better.”
“Oh?” I ask before I think better of it. The sensual smile curving Anna’s lips tells me exactly how she planned on getting to know me. Usually, I’d be more than willing to engage in some court diplomacy with a woman as beautiful as she is, but right now, I find the thought turns sour before it even takes root.
“Yes,” she whispers, stepping closer. “Perhaps you’ll allow me to escort you to the gala signaling the end of the jubilee?”
My eyebrow cocks and I nod my head slowly, reluctantly. I can’t refuse her publicly. Not when her brother—a king—just risked his life to rescue me from the clutches of a dragon. At least, as far as anyone in Vanir knew.
“Perfect,” she laughs, bowing her head respectfully before retreating to join her brother in the dining hall.
“I take it you’re not interested in the Lady Anna?” Mira asks, sounding shocked.
“I—”
“She was just pulled from a dragon’s mountain,” Dary sighs, rushing to my defense. “I doubt that’s what’s on her mind right now. She hasn’t even had a proper bath and the girl is already begging for her attention.”
“I think you’re just jealous Lady Anna doesn’t fancy you,” Mira chuckles, sticking her tongue out.
“Princess,” someone says beside me, and I turn to face Serafina. “We’ve prepared some warm food for you in your bedchamber. Your father said you may want to eat privately after your ordeal.” Her eyes fall to Mira and Dary and then she looks back to me with a polite smile. “Of course, we always prepared enough for your friends.”
“Thank you, Serafina.” I move to walk down the hall, Mira and Dary still bickering at my side. Apparently, Mira never had that conversation with Dary while I was gone. I don’t know why that seems so important right now, but it does. Perhaps, I’m just trying to distract myself from my own problems.
As we make our way into my bed chamber, my eyes fall on the three bowls of piping hot soup waiting on the tiny table. There are only two chairs, but that’s never been a problem before. I grab a bowl of the soup and sit on the edge of my bed, sighing as the heat warms my fingers.
I already miss her warmth so much.
“What happened while I was gone?” I ask, interrupting their spat.
“What do you mean?”
“With the jubilee, the wedding lottery—”
“Everything was put on hold until we could get you back,” Mira replies, cocking an eyebrow. “You don’t really think your father would host a celebration while you were missing, do you?”
“I suppose not,” I sigh, tilting the bowl up to my lips.
“But?”
“But I was curious to see who your parents picked to wed their spoiled little darling.”
“Spoiled is an understatement,” Dary chuckles. He hisses in a breath as Mira swats him in the chest. “One of these days—”