Colt
“Mikakov. What’s the word?”
“Set in three days. Warehouse off East Mission Avenue. Eight o’clock. Las Balas thinks Hector is going to be there, but they are set to get a rude awakening. We got you covered. We figured on the account you didn’t turn into a snitch bitch, we will take the debt. Morcov will shoot the whole Las Balas crew if they try anything.”
“Thanks, Mikakov. I’ll be there.”
“Keep connected. We will give you instructions closer to the day, brother. You served your time, and for that, you won’t be forgotten.”
“That’s the Outlaw code.”
“Indeed. Take care ‘till then.”
I had a few stops to make. I stepped out from the barn and into the heat. Right now, it was the only place I could really have a conversation. I didn’t want Bella to even suspect anything. My mother had gone back to her house, and it felt weird not to have her here. Amber was a guiding light in not only my life but Bella’s, too. I couldn’t wait to be with her again. Every part of my hot-blooded manhood wanted to claim her body again.
I checked the horse’s feed and cleaned up a little in the barn. Pigeons flew in and out, cooing. They’d made a nest, it seemed, at the top of the barn. I watched as they strutted back and forth across the top row beams.
“What do you think about them, Moonlight? You made some new friends.” Moonlight seemed to comprehend my ramblings to her. She reared her head at me, wide-eyed in response. “All right, they can stay.”
My phone was running red hot. This time, I saw it was Diego, founder of the Merced Outlaw chapter. I had been avoiding the call for a minute. I wasn’t sure when I would resume, or if I would.
“Hey, Diego. What’s new, brother?”
“You tell me. You haven’t called to check in. I wondered how you were since you got out. Frank told us he spent some time with you on the inside.”
I winced as I neared the house. “He did. Truth be told, I have some things to handle. I’m not in a rush to come back. If I do, I can’t be doing deliveries. It’s not a good look for you or for me. I’m on parole, so I can’t fuck up,” I whispered with a punch.
“I hear you. We don’t want to put you in a compromising position. You served your time. I have a legit side hustle for you at the motorcycle repair shop if you want it. No hot parts. I promise. Think it over. I know you got the farm and stuff, but I wanted to extend the offer.”
“Thanks, Diego. I appreciate that. How is Misty doing? Has she given birth yet?”
“She is ready to pop. I’m glad because she is extra loco, more than normal.”
I laughed and felt sorrow hit my heart as I thought of Anna pushing Bella into the world. Now she wasn’t here to see her grow. The revenge inflicted on her behalf was bittersweet for me. “I know that feeling. I will think about things and get back to you.”
“Good. Take care, and if you need anything, just pick up the phone.”
“I will.”
I was at the front door. I pulled off my cowboy boots and entered. Bella was at the kitchen table, drawing what looked to be a horse in crayon. I kissed the top of her head and sat down with her. The next part of the conversation I knew was going to be hard. I played with one of the crayons, scanning her happy face. I didn’t want to make her sad.
“Whatcha drawing, baby girl?”
Bella, with her innocent spirit, looked at me with the eyes of her mother. “It’s a horse, Daddy.”
Bella’s hair was in a ponytail because that’s all I knew how to do. My mother was a little better than me, but Bella liked it.
“I love it. You’re doing a really good job.” She swung her feet under the table and licked her little pink tongue out as she drew the outline of a tree for the horse. “I have something to ask you, and you can say no if you want to.”
She looked up at me with eagerness. “I’m nearly finished. You can ask me. What is it, Daddy?”
“I wanted to ask you if you want to go see Mommy?” I pushed down the lump of coal lodged in my throat.
Bella grew silent, and I instantly regretted making her leave her happy place. She put her ponytail into her mouth nervously. “I want to see Mommy. But how can we? She’s in the ground. We can’t see her. She speaks to me sometimes, though. She tells me to put my shoes away.”
I reached out and took her soft little hands in mine. The tears formed water wells, and I couldn’t help but let one fall. I wiped it away quickly.
Bella looked at me with curiosity, placing her little palm on my stubbly chin. “Daddy, don’t cry. Mommy is in a better place. I think she’s having fun. Granny told me that. I want to see her, so we can go, but don’t cry, Daddy.”
Such a sweet child. She went back to swinging her legs and singing a little song to herself.
“Okay. Will you be free from drawing in an hour? How about we eat something first?”
“Yay!” She raised her arms in the air and ran around the table. This was a Bella I would need to get to know. I didn’t even know my own daughter. She had turned into this emotionally intelligent, bright, energetic soul that soothed me. She was the one being strong and not me.
This whole cooking thing was new to me, too. Anna used to cook, but I had to try for Bella. I’d learned a few recipes in prison, so I felt like I could do the basics.
“How about some grilled ham and cheese? Sound good?”
Bella nodded her head. “I’ll get the ham and cheese. I cook with Granny sometimes. She taught me.” She opened the refrigerator and put the ham and cheese on the counter. I was in awe of her.
“There you go, Daddy. I’m a big girl now,” she said defiantly.
I bent down to her height. “You don’t always have to be a big girl. I’m home now. Daddy will take care of you, okay?” I lightly tapped her cute little nose.
“Okay. I like to help. It’s fun to cook.”
I smirked. Maybe in the future, when she had to cook all the time, she might not think it’s so fun. For now, I indulged her. I rustled up some ham and cheese sandwiches and put them in the waffle maker. We ate in silence, and then I put Bella’s jacket on to go. As soon as it was on, she ran out the front door.
“Bella! Where are you going?”
“I’m going to pick some flowers for Mommy. She likes flowers. She planted some at the front.”
Again, I had to wipe the water from my face. Bella picked a few red geraniums from the front, along with some purple bluebells. I knew Anna loved bluebells. I gave her the time to gather them. She ended with a small bunch, which she thrust proudly at me.
“Here we go. She will like these.”
I hugged my daughter to my leg. “Yes, baby girl, she will. Let’s go.”
We took the car. I was not ready to take Bella on the bike just yet. I wanted her to be a little older before I did that. I drove through the Merced backstreets to the cemetery. As soon as we arrived in the parking lot, an overwhelming sadness washed over me. Anna was a good mother. She loved Bella more than life itself. I struggled to stop the tears from falling. I wanted to be strong for Bella.
“Daddy, I think maybe it’s okay to cry. Ms. Atwood said it was okay. I just don’t want to see you sad.” Her little hand’s warmth landed on top of mine, and I held it.