“I didn’t believe I could.”
She took in a ragged breath, then blew it out again. “So why couldn’t you be with me?” Her voice broke, and it made him break a little. Because they’d been friends once, before he’d messed everything up between them. And even if they hadn’t, he wasn’t inhuman. He didn’t want to see anybody suffer.
Especially not because of him.
“I told you before. It’s not you, it’s me.” He looked down at the wooden planks beneath his feet, fixating on a raised knot. “I was really careful to be honest with you all along. I didn’t lie to you. I didn’t make any promises I couldn’t keep.” He looked up. “And I never meant to break your heart.”
She stifled a sob. “But you did. I really thought you were a good man, Griff. An honorable one. And maybe I thought I could change you.”
“I’m sorry.” It was all he could say, because she was right. He’d tried to be good and honorable. Never to hurt anybody the way he’d been hurt all his life. But he’d done it anyway, without meaning to, and it made him feel like crap.
“It’s not going to work between you two,” Carla said, lifting her chin up. “You must know that. She’s out of your league. I can tell that just by looking at her. She’s rich, she’s classy.” Carla laughed. “And I have no idea what she sees in you.”
Any vulnerability she’d had was gone, replaced by the hissing anger he’d become used to. The Carla she’d been ever since they’d ended things. The crazy thing was, he preferred it this way. He could deal with furious Carla.
But tearful Carla was another matter altogether.
“I have no idea either,” he admitted. “But I’m just telling myself I’m a lucky sonofabitch.”
“Luck always runs out,” she spat.
“I guess we’ll see about that.” He rolled his stiff neck and looked out at the ocean. “Is that everything you wanted to talk about?”
“Yeah. I have nothing else to say.” She crossed her arms over her ample chest.
He flashed her the briefest of smiles. “Okay. Take care of yourself.”
“I will. And you can go fuck yourself.”
His lips twitched, but he managed to stop himself from laughing. God, she was certifiable. Her abrupt change of mood made it much easier to walk away from her, even though he still felt like a piece of shit.
Relationships weren’t for the faint hearted. He knew that much.
But once in a lifetime you found the one person it was worth risking everything for. And for him, Autumn was that person.
He just hoped he was her person, too.
“So Griff is hot,” Lydia said, fanning her face as she sat down on the corner of Autumn’s old mahogany desk. “And big. Jesus, he’s like Aquaman. But a bit less wet.”
“I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear that.” Autumn shook her head as she pulled an old photograph out from beneath Lydia’s butt. It was one she’d scanned to be blown up onto the huge canvasses that would line the pier on the charity day. It showed a beautiful woman wearing a long, pale dress, an elaborate bustle pushing the fabric out from her hips, emphasizing her tiny waist. She was holding a lace-edged parasol, the stem resting on her shoulder as she lifted her head up to the sky, her eyes closed.
Of all the photographs Frank Megassey had loaned her, this was Autumn’s favorite. She wasn’t completely sure why. Maybe it was the rapt expression on the woman’s face, or the beautiful clothes she was wearing. Whatever it was, it made Autumn feel warm inside. Content, even.
“So who was that woman who looked at him like he’d just killed her cat?” Lydia asked casually. “Cara, was it?”
“Carla,” Autumn corrected her. “Her dad owns the restaurant. And she and Griff had a thing a while back.”
Lydia leaned forward, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. “They did? When? Is that why she looked like she wanted to swallow him whole?”
“A year or so ago, I think. But it wasn’t serious, according to his friends.”
“Whoa. He must be really good in bed for her to still look upset about losing him.” Lydia leaned even closer. “Is he?”
“I’ll never tell.” Autumn tried – and failed – to hide her smirk.
“You don’t need to tell me. I can read it on your face. I knew it!” Lydia clapped her hands together. “The big guys always know what to do with their bodies. It’s like they understand their power or something, and know how to use it wisely. Did I tell you about the guy I met in New Zealand? He was bigger than Griff, if that’s even possible. And when I say big, I mean in every way.”
Autumn clamped her hands on her ears. “Stop! I don’t want to hear about my baby sister having sex.”
Lydia laughed and peeled Autumn’s hands away. “Okay, I won’t mention him again. Or the multiple orgasms he could give a person just by looking at them.”
Autumn’s mouth dropped open. “Seriously?”
“Almost. But that’s not what I want to talk about, anyway. From the way he’s been looking at you all day, I think Griff has a few ideas of his own. The guy adores you.”
“Shut up.”
“I mean it. The way he looks at you is sizzling. He’s got this whole protective thing that’s impossible to see if you’re not looking closely. If somebody is walking toward the two of you, he speeds up just enough to put himself in front of you. I swear he’d take a bullet for you if he could.”
Autumn’s eyes widened. Lydia had to be seeing things.
“And I’ve seen the way you look at him, too, so don’t tell me I’m imagining stuff,” her sister continued, lowering her voice. “He’s gotten under your skin, hasn’t he?”
Glancing out of the dusty window, Autumn could see the pale blue painted building that housed Delmonico’s. Behind it was where Griff had talked to Carla, and she’d be a liar if she said it hadn’t bothered her a bit.
“Yeah, he has a bit,” she admitted.
“I knew it.” Lydia hugged her, the impulsive action taking Autumn by surprise. “I’m so happy for you. I knew all that bullshit about no strings was just lies. You two are perfect for each other.”
“They weren’t lies,” Autumn said softly. “I really believed them. I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship so soon after getting divorced.”
“Pah. Your divorce was inevitable. Anybody could see Josh was the wrong guy for you. I always thought he and dad were more suited than you two were.”
“Josh and Dad?” Autumn laughed. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, I’m not saying in a romantic relationship. But Dad was always subtly trying to push you and Josh together. And I swear he was more upset than you were when the two of you split. Like you ruined their bromance.”
“You think?” Autumn wrinkled her nose.
“Yep. And it scuppered all his plans. You’ve always been the daughter he can show off. You made him look like a winner. His daughter with a business degree and a successful marriage to a man who’s making waves in Manhattan real estate. Did you ever notice that your wedding photo was on his office wall next to all his certificates and commendations?”