“Most definitely, Sean,” I answer, leaning back in my chair. “Most definitely. Tell me everything.”
5
~ Malcolm ~
“Where would you like me to begin?”
“Let’s start with the basics,” I answer. “What's your girlfriend’s name?”
“Her name is Rebecca. Rebecca Richmond, but everyone just calls her Becky.”
“Cool, and what does Becky do for a living?”
“She's a resource advisor for Bayhealth Hospital. She spends all of her time talking to doctors and nurses and hospital administrators.”
This is interesting. Sean’s girlfriend spends all her time working with people who are in positions of power and prestige, according to societal opinions. Male doctors are considered to be men of authority and are held in very high regard. Sean hasn't said it yet, but I already find myself wondering if Becky feels some type of way about positions of power in her personal and professional life.
“And how long have the two of you been dating?” I ask as I write down Becky’s info, making sure to underline the part about working with doctors regularly.
“It’s been just over a year. Fifteen months,” Sean says with a warm smile on his face. Something in his demeanor perks up at the thought of his relationship with Becky. He’s in love, no doubt about it. “We actually moved in together about two months ago. It’s been great.”
“That’s fantastic,” I reply, echoing his enthusiasm. “You seem to really care about her. I can see it in how your body responds when you think of her.”
“Yeah, I love her very much,” Sean says with an unashamed confidence. He's got that part right, which is always good to see. Some people try to act as though they don't really care as much as they actually do, and that always causes problems with the significant other.
“We’re really good friends,” Sean goes on. “We always have been. We met at work two years ago—I’m a nurse at Bayhealth—and we just hit it off. It seemed like we just started laughing from the moment we met. We get along great, and have nearly everything in common. She's the person I tell everything to, and I’m that person for her, as well. I was a little concerned about her being a resource advisor and me just being a nurse instead of a doctor, but she has never had a problem with it.”
“Why were you concerned about it?” I ask, hoping this will lead me to some answers about how Becky and Sean view positions of power.
“Well, how could I not be?” Sean inquires with a shrug. “RAs are powerful people. They're important. They call the shots a lot of the time, and have authority over a lot of the people in the hospital because they control the money. In a sense, it’s like I work for her. It’s bad enough that she’s four years older than me, so when I think about the fact that I work for her and that she deals with people who are much more powerful than me, I figure she’d just want someone more on her level. A nurse isn't on her level.”
“You assume a powerful woman would only want to date a powerful man?”
“Well, yeah,” Sean admits. “It turned out, however, that she's the most down to earth woman I’ve ever met, and she only cares about people’s actions. She likes to laugh, and I’m able to provide that for her. I guess things being so serious all the time at our place of work makes her want to be able to decompress with laughter. At work, she’s strictly business. At home, she’s so light-hearted and humorous. She's great, really.”
“That's great to hear, Sean. You have a solid foundation of friendship, and that’s so important in any relationship that’s meant to last. Most people only have sex and try to use that as the glue to the relationship, but that rarely works. A strong friendship is absolutely essential. That's wonderful. Okay, so now let’s move onto the sex.”
At the mention of the word, Sean has to reposition himself, planting both feet on the hardwood floor as if he’s bracing himself. The muscles in his face tighten and his jaw flexes. This is very different from the love I saw emanating off of him when talking about his friendship with Becky.
“Let’s start with the evidence,” I say to Sean. I cross one leg over the other and maintain eye contact. I’m like a child waiting to be told a story. “You said you had sex with your girlfriend this morning, and you're pretty sure she didn't orgasm. Pretty sure. What makes you so sure?”
Sean clears his throat.
“Well, I don't know,” he mutters, his forehead scrunching in frustration now. “It seemed like maybe she was about to, but then she didn't. I tried to do it faster, but it didn't seem to work, no matter what I did.”
“You tried to do what faster?”
“Umm, I don't know?” Sean stammers, and I interject quickly.
“Sean, does vulgarity make you uncomfortable? Are you offended by swearing?”
“No, of course not.”
“Okay, so if you want to tell me that you tried to fuck your girlfriend faster, it’s okay for you to say that. You're not going to offend me. Is that what you meant?”
Sean stares at me for a moment, surprised by my use of the word fuck. If only he knew how often I use that word, and how thrilled I am when I use it in my most intimate moments.
“Umm, yeah, that’s what I meant,” he replies.
“Okay, good. I'd like to explore that a little bit, if you don't mind. You said you thought Becky was about to orgasm, so you tried to fuck her faster. So, let’s take a step back. Were you fucking her hard and fast when you thought she was about to orgasm?”
“Not really. I mean, I was sweating a lot, and I was definitely working hard. But, maybe it wasn't that fast. I was able to speed it up, so it’s not like I was going as fast as I could.”
“Okay, let’s think about that. You weren't fucking Becky hard and fast when she was about to orgasm, but when you noticed she might be about to, you started fucking her faster. Is that right?”
Sean swallows hard and looks down at the floor as thoughts flood into his mind like a dam just broke in his head. I haven't laid it all out there for him, but he can already see where this is going, and that lets me know that Sean Tillman is going to be a good patient.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Sean agrees, but he looks even more uncomfortable now.
“I think you already see where I’m going with this, Sean. You had Becky on the verge of orgasm with whatever you were doing before, but when you noticed her getting close, you changed it. You moved away from the thing that brought her to the edge of orgasm in the first place. There's a few issues with what you told me, but the first thing is that you changed what was already working. This is the perfect place to insert the saying of if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
“So, that’s your first step, Sean,” I say as I lean forward and smile at my newest patient. “In our next session, we’re going to explore the clues that led you to believe Becky was about to orgasm, but for now, you need to know that if you've successfully managed to push her all the way to the edge of the cliff, you don't need to switch gears and start hammering her in the head to force her to go over. You simply need to keep pushing.”