"Good," he says, thrusting up into me. From everything last night and this morning, I'm just a little sore, but the tiny edge of pain somehow makes the pleasure that much sharper. I close my eyes, letting it wash over me as we roll our hips together.
Lowering myself onto his chest, his arms come around me, holding me close while he moves faster, thrusts deeper, and I hold on, because it's perfect and my mind is blank and I don't think I can move even if I wanted to.
Adam groans as he moves, one thrust after another after another. My mouth is open in a silent cry, and I'm pulling in breath after breath, just trying to hold on, to feel. Yes, sweet god yes.
And then I'm on my back again. I'm not sure how I got there, but Adam is above me and I can't look away. There's something about this, I'm not sure what. I get why he didn't want to fuck on the couch last night, but doing it now feels real somehow. Like in this short time we went from being old acquaintances to lovers and to a real and actual couple. It's casual and breathtaking and I'm so close.
So close.
I take a breath and hold it, trying to make the moment before—the pleasure pulsing and spinning and shimmering—last. And then Adam drives in one more time and I can't hold it. Everything explodes in golden fireworks behind my eyes, and I shake underneath him. The orgasm is fast like an adrenaline rush that fizzes through me, and it feels like every nerve is overloaded at once, tingling up my spine and outward before evaporating and leaving me cursing under my breath.
Adam laughs, and then groans as he speeds up, so close too. I grab his face and kiss him, opening my mouth to him and showing him how much I loved that. I feel his breath catch and he pushes in once more, holding deep inside me. His cock jerks inside me as he comes, and he's kissing me hard, not letting me go.
I'm not sure how long it takes us to come back. It's a while, we're lost in each other and our kiss and the aftermath of pleasure.
Adam pulls away, standing and disappearing into the bathroom for a minute. I re-adjust my clothes, and when Adam comes back, he lies down next to me again, and wraps his arms around me.
"I'm so glad I bought a couch that's deep enough for two."
His lips are pressed against my forehead, and I feel the vibration when he laughs. "Me too." He breathes deep. "Ollie, I know it probably feels like ten years too late, but I like you."
I'm blushing even though he's not looking at my face.
"I really like you, and I want to make sure that you know. That you don't think I'm just using the opportunity for sex."
"I hadn't thought that," I say, "but I'm happy that you let me know. And I like you too. If I'm honest with myself, I don't think that I ever stopped liking you."
His hold tightens a little, and the tiny gesture warms my chest. "We're going to need to learn about each other as adults."
"What's your favorite color?" I ask, laughing. "Like that?"
"Blue, and yes, like that."
Leaning my forehead against his chest, I take a breath. "I like purple, but not the dark purple. More like periwinkle. I still love World's Waterfall even if it's nerdy. I want to travel way more than I have, somewhere amazing like Greece or Ireland or Sri Lanka. I do like my job, but I fantasize about quitting and being a writer who lives by the beach. I want a perfect wedding and kids someday, and no matter what I’ve eaten, I will always make room for pizza."
I can feel him smiling. "That's a good list."
"It's your turn."
He takes a moment, and he does start to speak his voice sounds different. Deeper, almost emotional. "I like my job, but sometimes I want to run away and never come back. But now, I'd take you with me."
"That sounds nice."
One of Adam's hands moves up and tangles in my hair, gently tugging on it until I tilt my face back to look up at him. "Maybe someday."
"Where would we go?" I ask him as he touches his lips to mine, barely a breath of a kiss.
"Anywhere. Those places you listed are great. We could go to Cape Cod. Or Hawaii and have a hut on the beach. We could go hiking and stay in a tent the whole time. Anywhere but here."
There's something too real in his voice. "Are you okay?"
"Of course," he says, but there's a flash of pain in his eyes that he doesn't entirely hide, and I don't dare ask what it is. I can't push him for that. I don't have that right, yet.
"So," I say, changing the subject, putting on a smile. "You like me. I like you. You're not using me for sex. So what are we doing?"
"I want to know you," Adam says. "I want to date you. And, if after a few dates you decide you still like me, I have every intention of asking you to be my girlfriend. After that, who knows?"
My breath catches in my chest. In high school, there's almost nothing that I wouldn't have done to hear Adam say something like that. And it feels just as good, if not more, now. He wants me. He likes me.
"I like that plan," I say, yawning. I'm suddenly tired. "When do you have to leave?"
"Not for a while."
I shake myself a little. "I don't want to fall asleep. Not while you're here."
"Why not?" This smile is real and more like what I already recognize as the real Adam.
"Because you're here, and it still feels new and like we're on borrowed time."
He brushes the hair back from my face. "We're not on borrowed time. And if you're tired, you should sleep. I'll hold you for as long as I can."
The butterflies in my stomach are totally out of control right now, but the sudden burst of exhaustion is pulling me down, and Adam tucks me closer to his body. His warmth is so good, and I fade into what feels like total and complete safety and comfort.
I don't know how long it is when I surface, Adam tucking a blanket around my body. He's crouched down by me and I reach out for his hand. "Don't go."
"Believe me, I don't want to." He kisses me softly. "But I have to. I'll see you soon."
"Promise?"
"Promise." He finishes arranging the blanket around me, and I hear his footsteps leaving as I fade back to sleep.
15
Ollie
Adam doesn't text the next day. Or the next. I start to get nervous because even though he said all those nice things, that was right after we'd had sex and he was happy. Who knows, maybe he didn't mean it? My gut tells me he wasn't lying but I can't make ten years of anxiety just evaporate.
I text Lorraine and all she texts back is an eye roll emoji. Then,
Girl, that boy is so hooked on you, I can't believe you'd even think that.
He isn't hooked on me.
Yes he fucking is. And don't argue with me.
It's my turn to roll my eyes, and I put my phone down only to hear it buzz again.
If you're worried, why don't you bring him lunch or something? Medical students eat like shit while they’re on these kinds of shifts. Plus, you'd get to see him?
I mean...that could work?
What if he doesn't want me showing up at work?